Why am I having so much more success with Hinge than Bumble, Eharmony or Match?

[max3732]

On Match my subscription ran out and when it was all said and done I met less than 5 women in 2 years. One of them I ended up going on multiple dates and kissing a few times so I was happy for that. On Eharmony there were hardly any women and I got into a few conversations but only met 1 or 2 there. With Bumble I had a bunch of matches before and met about handful with one being the 1st woman I went on 4+ dates with in years.

Considering how many women I swipe on or message I'd say I'm way below 5% response rate and probably under 1% as far as meeting.

With Hinge I have the same main picture and similar info about me but have closer to a 35% response rate and like 20% that I've exchanged multiple messages with. I've started using it more since I closed down my Match account and have 6 conversations going on now.

Is it that there different women on Hinge or that my bio is more geared towards women there? Is there something I can change in my bio or pictures going forward that would give me more success on the other platforms?

[scooby-philly]

Now - I hope your note isn't a plug and that you're getting reimbursed or something from them....

If you're post is on the up and up.....then I'll respond...I think even before COVID-19, OLD was in a lurch or bad spot. When those platforms first came out, they were great and people were willing to put up with certain things because it offered a different option to meet people. And back then - 10-15 years ago, there were less "free" options and less "hookup" apps. I used match 10 years ago and while I ended up dating someone I met irl, I had no problems getting dates, etc. Fast forward to recent experience and using it again - SO much more fake profiles and scammers (which is weird because I believe women have to pay as much as men or at least still pay to message).....and they've been found out to be creating fake accounts from their staff to interact with people to either pay for subscriptions or renew them. No lie - I live in Philly. Set my search to 80 miles. That gets me to the edge of NYC - and even maybe parts of Staten Island....most the heavily populated spots of North Jersey, all the way down to the outskirts of baltimore...and at best, there were like 1,000 active profiles if I had to guess....and that was me looking for 28-38 year old women, up to and including "curvy" builds and 5'9 or smaller. That was it. no eye color, hair color, religious, political, education filters, nothing. It's pathetic. And I used E Harmony 10 years ago and they eventually stopped sending me matches all together and basically said, either change my profile or expand my search. I was already open to matches from 100 miles away and the next option was 250. From Philly that's like Boston, Pittsburgh, Richmond Virginia, etc. Like seriously? And why would I change my profile - the whole point of EHarmony was that you filled out this complex profile and couldn't "search" because they wanted to match you based on the profile. So I think now, between Tinder and other hookup apps, free or low-cost sites like Hinge, etc. and also what's going on in the world - job losses, people having to move back in with family after college or at some point in their 20's or even 30s, (i had to), it makes "dating" tough. 

And the other thing to keep in mind, as a guy, the older you get ,the more desirable you become. I mean, if you're a quasi-normal, healthy, semi decent looking, with a decent job/career. Women in their teens and 20's tend to need to "find themselves" and will date lots of different guys....if you're over 25 or 28 and you're single, responsible, hard working, etc....you become a "catch" Because we've gutted working class jobs so much in the USA that as a guy, it's tough to have a decent job these days and some modicum of "success" - even if it's just being able to afford your own place and go out to eat 1-2x a month.

[Ami1uwant]

14 minutes ago, scooby-philly said:

Now - I hope your note isn't a plug and that you're getting reimbursed or something from them....

If you're post is on the up and up.....then I'll respond...I think even before COVID-19, OLD was in a lurch or bad spot. When those platforms first came out, they were great and people were willing to put up with certain things because it offered a different option to meet people. And back then - 10-15 years ago, there were less "free" options and less "hookup" apps. I used match 10 years ago and while I ended up dating someone I met irl, I had no problems getting dates, etc. Fast forward to recent experience and using it again - SO much more fake profiles and scammers (which is weird because I believe women have to pay as much as men or at least still pay to message).....and they've been found out to be creating fake accounts from their staff to interact with people to either pay for subscriptions or renew them. No lie - I live in Philly. Set my search to 80 miles. That gets me to the edge of NYC - and even maybe parts of Staten Island....most the heavily populated spots of North Jersey, all the way down to the outskirts of baltimore...and at best, there were like 1,000 active profiles if I had to guess....and that was me looking for 28-38 year old women, up to and including "curvy" builds and 5'9 or smaller. That was it. no eye color, hair color, religious, political, education filters, nothing. It's pathetic. And I used E Harmony 10 years ago and they eventually stopped sending me matches all together and basically said, either change my profile or expand my search. I was already open to matches from 100 miles away and the next option was 250. From Philly that's like Boston, Pittsburgh, Richmond Virginia, etc. Like seriously? And why would I change my profile - the whole point of EHarmony was that you filled out this complex profile and couldn't "search" because they wanted to match you based on the profile. So I think now, between Tinder and other hookup apps, free or low-cost sites like Hinge, etc. and also what's going on in the world - job losses, people having to move back in with family after college or at some point in their 20's or even 30s, (i had to), it makes "dating" tough. 

And the other thing to keep in mind, as a guy, the older you get ,the more desirable you become. I mean, if you're a quasi-normal, healthy, semi decent looking, with a decent job/career. Women in their teens and 20's tend to need to "find themselves" and will date lots of different guys....if you're over 25 or 28 and you're single, responsible, hard working, etc....you become a "catch" Because we've gutted working class jobs so much in the USA that as a guy, it's tough to have a decent job these days and some modicum of "success" - even if it's just being able to afford your own place and go out to eat 1-2x a month.

 

700+ posts...he isn’t plugging stuff. Under 10 yes.

 

 

[scooby-philly]

8 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

 

700+ posts...he isn’t plugging stuff. Under 10 yes.

 

 

Ah. Didn't see that

[Ami1uwant]

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

On Match my subscription ran out and when it was all said and done I met less than 5 women in 2 years. One of them I ended up going on multiple dates and kissing a few times so I was happy for that. On Eharmony there were hardly any women and I got into a few conversations but only met 1 or 2 there. With Bumble I had a bunch of matches before and met about handful with one being the 1st woman I went on 4+ dates with in years.

Considering how many women I swipe on or message I'd say I'm way below 5% response rate and probably under 1% as far as meeting.

With Hinge I have the same main picture and similar info about me but have closer to a 35% response rate and like 20% that I've exchanged multiple messages with. I've started using it more since I closed down my Match account and have 6 conversations going on now.

Is it that there different women on Hinge or that my bio is more geared towards women there? Is there something I can change in my bio or pictures going forward that would give me more success on the other platforms?

 

 

Ive not used hinge..I’ve used others

 

eharmony is based on your profile and match distance setting so you might get fewer but they might be closer matches.

 

with match...you go out and look. Unsure what your matching criteria are on a search like distance away from you or age ranges that were different from ehstmony settings.

 

thus coukd natter because if you live on the edges of a major metro area how they calculate distances coukd make a difference where they get the downtown population core or not which then could get you more matches

Could be hinge had some marketing campaign the last few months do thry got a bunch of users or some crlebrety influencers pushed it.

 

when it comes to paid dating sites peop,e tend to rate every 3-6 months between sites.

 

[max3732]

33 minutes ago, scooby-philly said:

Now - I hope your note isn't a plug and that you're getting reimbursed or something from them....

If you're post is on the up and up.....then I'll respond...I think even before COVID-19, OLD was in a lurch or bad spot. When those platforms first came out, they were great and people were willing to put up with certain things because it offered a different option to meet people. And back then - 10-15 years ago, there were less "free" options and less "hookup" apps. I used match 10 years ago and while I ended up dating someone I met irl, I had no problems getting dates, etc. Fast forward to recent experience and using it again - SO much more fake profiles and scammers (which is weird because I believe women have to pay as much as men or at least still pay to message).....and they've been found out to be creating fake accounts from their staff to interact with people to either pay for subscriptions or renew them. No lie - I live in Philly. Set my search to 80 miles. That gets me to the edge of NYC - and even maybe parts of Staten Island....most the heavily populated spots of North Jersey, all the way down to the outskirts of baltimore...and at best, there were like 1,000 active profiles if I had to guess....and that was me looking for 28-38 year old women, up to and including "curvy" builds and 5'9 or smaller. That was it. no eye color, hair color, religious, political, education filters, nothing. It's pathetic. And I used E Harmony 10 years ago and they eventually stopped sending me matches all together and basically said, either change my profile or expand my search. I was already open to matches from 100 miles away and the next option was 250. From Philly that's like Boston, Pittsburgh, Richmond Virginia, etc. Like seriously? And why would I change my profile - the whole point of EHarmony was that you filled out this complex profile and couldn't "search" because they wanted to match you based on the profile. So I think now, between Tinder and other hookup apps, free or low-cost sites like Hinge, etc. and also what's going on in the world - job losses, people having to move back in with family after college or at some point in their 20's or even 30s, (i had to), it makes "dating" tough. 

And the other thing to keep in mind, as a guy, the older you get ,the more desirable you become. I mean, if you're a quasi-normal, healthy, semi decent looking, with a decent job/career. Women in their teens and 20's tend to need to "find themselves" and will date lots of different guys....if you're over 25 or 28 and you're single, responsible, hard working, etc....you become a "catch" Because we've gutted working class jobs so much in the USA that as a guy, it's tough to have a decent job these days and some modicum of "success" - even if it's just being able to afford your own place and go out to eat 1-2x a month.

I apologize if I sounded like I'm getting paid or plugging Hinge. I tried it before and met one woman in person from it where there was no chemistry and had a pretty bad track record there before. From being on the other platforms I'm used to going through profiles, sending a message, and then getting nothing back and getting frustrated. Now I'm actually getting messages back and I really don't understand why. I used to get matches there and now I get nothing. Every day I swipe through until I run out and haven't had a match in a long time even though a lot of matches are exactly in the wheelhouse of what I'd hope to find.

Of course I haven't met any of the Hinge matches yet because of the virus, but I had one woman message me saying "we've got x in common. Let's meet up and do that for a 1st date". I just don't understand about the lack of matches on the other platforms. Are there other free sites or others that might also work? I'm nearly 40 looking for women in their 30s. 

[Blind-Sided]

45 minutes ago, scooby-philly said:

Ah. Didn't see that

Yep... isn't plugging.... he obsesses about the details. LOL.

Max... No help here, as I never used any of the dating apps... but if one is working better for you, over the others... then go with it.

Good luck. 

[Amanda141]

Maybe it's because people on Hinge are more towards building a relationship than just chatting for fun or for a short fling.

Also, with Bumble you could have lower opportunities as only women can initiate the conversation

[Grey40]

This one is obvious to me. Hinge is much less known, much less popular and therefore it has more people who are taking dating seriously. The other apps are trendy and most people have created a profile at some point and a lot barely even use it—yet their profiles will still show up even if they’re barely active. 

if you’re downloading hinge, it means you’re tired of Tinder and Bumble and realize that there’s a lot of people on there for the wrong reasons so you seek a different app out. Therefore your success will be higher because people are on there seriously and actually use it. That being said, hinge is starting to get worse and becoming more popular and unfortunately falling to a similar fate.

Edited June 13, 2020 by Grey40

[Weezy1973]

I’d say your best bet for most sites is to make sure you have at least ten good recent pictures (under a year old) and rotate through them as your main profile pic about every three weeks.

Also, make sure your profile write up doesn’t talk about what you’re looking for in a woman, but instead talk about what you’re looking for in a relationship. And don’t list any dealbreakers on your profile write up. 

[max3732]

On 6/13/2020 at 9:55 AM, Weezy1973 said:

I’d say your best bet for most sites is to make sure you have at least ten good recent pictures (under a year old) and rotate through them as your main profile pic about every three weeks.

Also, make sure your profile write up doesn’t talk about what you’re looking for in a woman, but instead talk about what you’re looking for in a relationship. And don’t list any dealbreakers on your profile write up. 

What's the difference between what you're looking for in a relationship vs. in a woman?

[smackie9]

Hinge is a dating app founded by Justin McLeod in 2012. Hinge is more relationship-oriented in its features compared to its competitors, with marketing efforts focusing on the app’s "designed to be deleted" branding.

[Miss Spider]

I think because less men. Isn’t hinge the one for committed relationships Lol

[Weezy1973]

35 minutes ago, max3732 said:

What's the difference between what you're looking for in a relationship vs. in a woman?

If you talk about what type of relationship you’re looking for, a woman who shares that vision will be interested. If you talk about traits you want somebody to have they feel boxed in or offended even if they possess those traits.

An example would be if you said you were looking for a woman with a slim body. That could make some women, even those that are slim, lose interest because it can come across as shallow and inflexible.

 

If you instead say something like you want a relationship that incorporates a healthy lifestyle, women that share that value would be interested. 

[Interstellar]

good for you man!!!! hey, if you find something that works for you keep milking the heck out of it. Get even better photographs from a professional, etc...when I used match years go, I had zero responses too. i avoid match like the plague. and accdg. to rumors I hear a ton of the profiles there are fake. some guys travel, salsa dance,do  ballroom dancing, speed dating, some guys do lock and key events, etc...I’m definitely gonna try hinge as well.

Edited June 14, 2020 by Interstellar

[max3732]

2 hours ago, Interstellar said:

good for you man!!!! hey, if you find something that works for you keep milking the heck out of it. Get even better photographs from a professional, etc...when I used match years go, I had zero responses too. i avoid match like the plague. and accdg. to rumors I hear a ton of the profiles there are fake. some guys travel, salsa dance,do  ballroom dancing, speed dating, some guys do lock and key events, etc...I’m definitely gonna try hinge as well.

I'd never heard of lock and key events. That sounds interesting if it weren't for the pandemic. How do you meet women with salsa dancing?

4 Hinge matches I thought were really promising just stopped responding. 2 cases we did rapid fire initial messages following up on my comment on their profile. Then they asked me a question and I thought I answered it well, but then they went quiet.

Fortunately there are still a few I'm talking to, but I guess that's the nature of these things. Apparently I need to work on messaging after the initial message.

With Match (as well as other sites) I'm disappointed that they have profiles that have stopped paying and are inactive or never paid and can't message you back along with the paid members. It definitely makes it look like there are more members then there are. I was thinking of trying Zoosk, but it seems like the same kind of thing. 

[Interstellar]

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

I'd never heard of lock and key events. That sounds interesting if it weren't for the pandemic. How do you meet women with salsa dancing?

4 Hinge matches I thought were really promising just stopped responding. 2 cases we did rapid fire initial messages following up on my comment on their profile. Then they asked me a question and I thought I answered it well, but then they went quiet.

Fortunately there are still a few I'm talking to, but I guess that's the nature of these things. Apparently I need to work on messaging after the initial message.

With Match (as well as other sites) I'm disappointed that they have profiles that have stopped paying and are inactive or never paid and can't message you back along with the paid members. It definitely makes it look like there are more members then there are. I was thinking of trying Zoosk, but it seems like the same kind of thing. 

Lock and key events are singles mixer that’s pretty much an after work happy hour. They’re usually held at a bar and grill or steak house and as soon as you get there if you’re a guy they give you a key and if you’re a woman they give you a lock, you get the idea. You walk around finding your “matching lock or key” so this becomes a way to talk, to break the ice. Once you find a matching lock or key and “hopefully” connected with someone or not they give you a new one and start all over again, walking around, talking to everybody, breaking the ice. They have anywhere from 50-100 people so they make sure they have an equal distribution of 50 men and 50 women for example.  You have to be really outgoing for this. It sounds too formal for me and there’s this indirect pressure to find someone like speed dating so I’m meh on that. With salsa dancing, there’s salsa schools here  for beginners and etc....and they partner with clubs so they would have events on the weekends that you can go to just to have fun and approach people and practice what you learned. I think this is more my style. 

Edited June 15, 2020 by Interstellar

[Hopeful30]

On 6/12/2020 at 3:50 PM, max3732 said:

On Match my subscription ran out and when it was all said and done I met less than 5 women in 2 years. One of them I ended up going on multiple dates and kissing a few times so I was happy for that. On Eharmony there were hardly any women and I got into a few conversations but only met 1 or 2 there. With Bumble I had a bunch of matches before and met about handful with one being the 1st woman I went on 4+ dates with in years.

Considering how many women I swipe on or message I'd say I'm way below 5% response rate and probably under 1% as far as meeting.

With Hinge I have the same main picture and similar info about me but have closer to a 35% response rate and like 20% that I've exchanged multiple messages with. I've started using it more since I closed down my Match account and have 6 conversations going on now.

Is it that there different women on Hinge or that my bio is more geared towards women there? Is there something I can change in my bio or pictures going forward that would give me more success on the other platforms?

It could be the platform, algorithms, or question answers, or even your vibration! I have similar experiences, though, that Hinge is better.

[ccas93]

the other thing  about Hinge that makes it a better app, is that the "likes" go straight to that person to match or deny you - they don't have to swipe through a giant pile of people to find you. Plus, you can like different things on the person's profile - so that person knows you actually liked something about their profile, and weren't just speed swiping right on everyone. I prefer Hinge out of all the dating apps I've tried as well.