Sanzo86 Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 Hey Everyone, Just need a bit of help with what is going on in my relationship with my girlfriend and im unsure on how to proceed... So our backstory is that we met in real life and become offical before the whole covid-19 situation around 2-3 days before everything got locked up for reference im based in the UK, Anyway since we havent been able to meet so we have resorted to messaging and phone calls to keep things going anyway we have arranged a day to meet up again which is coming up in about 2 weeks the end of June as we are both essential workers and thats the next date we both had free. So when we are talking like we dont message every waking mintue or as soon as one replies you instantly reply back but we have always been accepting of the situation we are in cause of covid. So to the problem im facing so over the past 2 months or so we have been going fine we had an issue when my phone died and I couldnt message her to tell her that I needed to get a new phone so for a few days we didnt message and she got upset about the whole thing but once I got my new phone going everything was fine again, So as the days carried on we were just talking about things on messages and for some reason we never wanted to call eachother. I brought this up in a conversation this week on Monday and she said she would call me Monday night which never happened I didnt think anything of it as im not going to question why she didnt ring when she promised she would. Come to Tuesday she was super happy like saying "Oh I cant wait until we can meet up again soon its only a couple of weeks away" and talking about stuff we can do when eventually lockdown was lifted and can see eachother in actual person. Yesterday came and all of a sudden she changed like I knww she had something on her mind as i could feel it in the tone of her voice while on the phone or in messages she sent me but she never told me even though I asked her she just ignored the question and we didnt comminicate the rest of that day after lunch time which was strange to me as we always messaged or something before we eventually go to sleep. Then today I had a message from her at about 3 in the morning saying "I've just been clearing my thoughts and just need abit of time to process everything xox" So in my mind I thought I did or said something to her so I asked if I upset her in some way only to get a reply saying "No just havent done this for ages I just want time x" So I said sure I'll give you some space and time to clear your thoughts and hopefully I'll speak to you later on tonight. So this is what im unsure about like she said I havent done anything and just wants time to clear her thoughts is that some sort of indirect message she isnt intrested in us being something anymore and trying not to upset me? Do I wait until she comes back and messages or calls me instead of me hounding her? Im just confused on the whole issue as we have never had any arguments or falling out except the broken phone thing. Im just not sure on how to proceed what should i do?? Any suggestions?? Thanks Alot!
smackie9 Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 let her have her space. If she doesn't want to see you anymore, so be it...$%^& happens because life happens. You have no control over the end result. If you keep hounding her, it makes you look desperate, weak and very unattractive. Go out, meet up with a buddy or two, flash some photos of having fun on social media, etc. Let her know your life isn't on hold for her. 1
ShyViolet Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 What she said is very vague and cryptic. I don't think it's too much to ask that she talk to you and explain what she means. If she refuses to answer you or get on the phone with you to talk, then I think that says it all. She's not into this relationship anymore. Maybe not being able to see each other for so long just changed her feelings about you.
miranda561 Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 1 hour ago, Sanzo86 said: Hey Everyone, Just need a bit of help with what is going on in my relationship with my girlfriend and im unsure on how to proceed... So our backstory is that we met in real life and become offical before the whole covid-19 situation around 2-3 days before everything got locked up for reference im based in the UK, Anyway since we havent been able to meet so we have resorted to messaging and phone calls to keep things going anyway we have arranged a day to meet up again which is coming up in about 2 weeks the end of June as we are both essential workers and thats the next date we both had free. So when we are talking like we dont message every waking mintue or as soon as one replies you instantly reply back but we have always been accepting of the situation we are in cause of covid. So to the problem im facing so over the past 2 months or so we have been going fine we had an issue when my phone died and I couldnt message her to tell her that I needed to get a new phone so for a few days we didnt message and she got upset about the whole thing but once I got my new phone going everything was fine again, So as the days carried on we were just talking about things on messages and for some reason we never wanted to call eachother. I brought this up in a conversation this week on Monday and she said she would call me Monday night which never happened I didnt think anything of it as im not going to question why she didnt ring when she promised she would. Come to Tuesday she was super happy like saying "Oh I cant wait until we can meet up again soon its only a couple of weeks away" and talking about stuff we can do when eventually lockdown was lifted and can see eachother in actual person. Yesterday came and all of a sudden she changed like I knww she had something on her mind as i could feel it in the tone of her voice while on the phone or in messages she sent me but she never told me even though I asked her she just ignored the question and we didnt comminicate the rest of that day after lunch time which was strange to me as we always messaged or something before we eventually go to sleep. Then today I had a message from her at about 3 in the morning saying "I've just been clearing my thoughts and just need abit of time to process everything xox" So in my mind I thought I did or said something to her so I asked if I upset her in some way only to get a reply saying "No just havent done this for ages I just want time x" So I said sure I'll give you some space and time to clear your thoughts and hopefully I'll speak to you later on tonight. So this is what im unsure about like she said I havent done anything and just wants time to clear her thoughts is that some sort of indirect message she isnt intrested in us being something anymore and trying not to upset me? Do I wait until she comes back and messages or calls me instead of me hounding her? Im just confused on the whole issue as we have never had any arguments or falling out except the broken phone thing. Im just not sure on how to proceed what should i do?? Any suggestions?? Thanks Alot! So you guys are official and already there are issues. I think if she said she wants time then wait for her to get back to you or reach out first. She became emotional over you two not speaking for a few days, so i dont see how she would have suddenly lost feelings for you.. Very strange indeed.
Acacia98 Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 Definitely don't hound her. Give her time like she asked. And then wait. But only wait as long as you think is reasonable (for me, it would be 3 days to one week), then reach out and invite her to talk if she hasn't already reached out to you by then. If she ignores you or is still reluctant to talk at that point, then you wish her well and probably make a decision to move on. You see, it's perfectly okay for her to have doubts or to want out or to need some time out if she's under a lot of stress or something. But if she values you, she should communicate with you and give you a sense of what's happening with her and precisely how much time she'll need to deal with stuff. It's not fair to give you vague explanations and not give you a sense of how long you should wait. It's kind of like stringing you along. That's why I think that, if the vagueness remains, it'll be okay for you to unilaterally decide to end things if you want.
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