ButtonPusher Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Its been about 7 months since my break up with my ex gf, 2 months of no contact what so ever. I got a job which fits in with my university course, and the people I work with are great and the job's fine. I've been really enjoying my course this semester and I felt like I was finally getting over losing my ex. But recently I've found that I've been thinking more about her again. Perhaps its because my birthday went by recently, and I found myself thinking of her around that time. I'm now 26, and maybe the thing getting to me is that i'm 4 years away from being 30, and I feel like I have nothing much to show for my life. My ex and I talked about getting married, and we both said that we'd like to be married before turning 30. Fat chance that will happen now, as I haven't been able to feel that exciting, thrilling feeling that I once got from getting to know a girl. In the last few months I've met plenty of girls that I found attractive, girls that in the past I would have loved to have gotten to know, but now I feel nothing other than being able to observe that they're good looking and nice. I have been through break ups before and I have not been affected like this. I can't listen to any of the music that I heard while with her, I feel like I won't ever be able to watch the movies again that I saw with her, and I even feel afraid to visit the city she lives in. Not because I'm worried I'll run into her, but simply because everything there will remind me of her. Maybe I've been kidding myself that I've been getting over breaking up with her. I know that I still love her, but I also know that even if she called me and told me she wanted us to get back together, I could never go back to her as I don't think I would ever really believe her again that she really wanted to be with me.
hooghie Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Hang in there Dukka. Things will get better. You are still so young- only 26! I use to think the same way as you. I got married at 25 (no kids) and stayed that way for 6 years. I was scared- 31 and single- very scared that I'll die an old maid, but I don't feel that way anymore. I'm 35 now and in a serious relationship with the person I think is my soulmate, but even if that doesn't work out- something else will. You don't have to be married to have something to show for your life. Trust me, most young married people are unhappy- even if you think they're not. You have so much time. Be happy this ended and think that you will have something better some day.
Author ButtonPusher Posted October 10, 2005 Author Posted October 10, 2005 Thanks hooghie, but I didn't mean that I need to get married in order to feel fulfilled. I realise it probably sounded that way. But 30 just feels like a point in life that you would want to feel that you've achieved something of significance. I guess when I was with my ex I felt that it didnt matter if nothing else significant happened for me by then, as I was with her.
hooghie Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Well, if at 26 you don't have anything to show for it- get to work! Sit down and think about the things you would live to have and things you think you should have by 30. Make a list and get started- you have 4 years! BTW- being married or being in a committed relationship really shouldn't be on the list because it may cause you to settle for less than what you really want. That's what I did and lived to regret it.
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