szechuanhorse Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 So I've been talking to this woman on a dating app for last two and a half weeks. We switched numbers and then had a 'video call' date (thanks to the corinavirus) on the Saturday just gone. It went well, we spoke about ourselves and our likes, laughed and drank, all while seeing each other on a laptop screen. Lasted for 4 hours so I can't complain. We quickly arranged a second one which is tomorrow evening, another 'video call' date (yet again, thanks coronavirus). We text about two or three times a day. I've dated a lot in my time, and have always been comfortable on dates which ever number it is, 1st, 2nd date, 3rd and so on. But what should I expect from my second 'video call' date? As its video, the touch barrier can't be broken, same with a kiss or a hug, so I'm just looking for advice on how I could progress things in a natural way? 1
d0nnivain Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Is there anyway you could turn it into dinner? Use UberEats, DoorDash, Grub Hub or something to send food to her so you two can safely share a meal? That might not be kosher if you don't know her address & I'm not sure she would feel safe giving it to you. But perhaps ask if you two can "have dinner" together. You both make your own food, you set your table nicely & light a candle. . .then dine together. There's an app on my phone called Hang Outs where people can play games. You could probably manage a board game like checkers or chess that you set up & each moved both pieces. 1
Mystery4u Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Virus this virus that blah blah blah, just meet up and go for a walk and grab some food to have in the park etc. 3
smackie9 Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) Ya and sanitize the hands and wear a mask to move in for a hug. Then go home, throw the clothes right into the wash/have a shower..done Edited June 10, 2020 by smackie9
Author szechuanhorse Posted June 10, 2020 Author Posted June 10, 2020 1 minute ago, Mystery4u said: Virus this virus that blah blah blah, just meet up and go for a walk and grab some food to have in the park etc. She lives with her gran who is quite ill and has a carer come round so she doesn't want to be going out exposing herself for another few weeks otherwise we would have taken that step 2
Author szechuanhorse Posted June 10, 2020 Author Posted June 10, 2020 35 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Is there anyway you could turn it into dinner? Use UberEats, DoorDash, Grub Hub or something to send food to her so you two can safely share a meal? That might not be kosher if you don't know her address & I'm not sure she would feel safe giving it to you. But perhaps ask if you two can "have dinner" together. You both make your own food, you set your table nicely & light a candle. . .then dine together. There's an app on my phone called Hang Outs where people can play games. You could probably manage a board game like checkers or chess that you set up & each moved both pieces. I'm not sure about the food one as I feel that could be awkward, hilarious though. The game option has potential, I might try that! 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: Is there anyway you could turn it into dinner? Use UberEats, DoorDash, Grub Hub or something to send food to her so you two can safely share a meal? That might not be kosher if you don't know her address & I'm not sure she would feel safe giving it to you. But perhaps ask if you two can "have dinner" together. You both make your own food, you set your table nicely & light a candle. . .then dine together. There's an app on my phone called Hang Outs where people can play games. You could probably manage a board game like checkers or chess that you set up & each moved both pieces. What a cute idea!
poppyfields Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 21 hours ago, szechuanhorse said: But what should I expect from my second 'video call' date? I don't think you should "expect" anything, let things unfold naturally, like your first video chat. Also, I think referring to these video chats as "dates" places a certain pressure on them, and when there is pressure that you have to "do" something, it tends to backfire. My suggestion is don't plan anything, this isn't a relationship, you're not dating. You are "interacting," chatting on line, nothing more, nothing less at this point. Best to keep it in that perspective, stop over thinking so much and keep expectations in check. And have fun!! 2
rjc149 Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 22 hours ago, szechuanhorse said: As its video, the touch barrier can't be broken, same with a kiss or a hug, so I'm just looking for advice on how I could progress things in a natural way? Yeah, that's the tough part of virtual dating. It's not a natural medium for human interaction, so it's hard to escalate sexual tension naturally. What you risk doing is actually lowering her interest and the sexual tension, by having this much communication at this initial stage of dating. Texting several times per day, 4-hour video chats etc. -- you've never met her. It's really too much. You don't want things to get too familiar too quickly. When conversation begins to meander and feel forced, and all you have is conversation because there is no non-verbal communication or shared sensory experience of a venue environment, you're in a bit of trouble. What should you expect on a video call date? If it absolutely needs to happen, then expect nothing. Have a drink on hand, and since the date cannot physically escalate to a successful conclusion, make sure YOU are the one who calls time on it, not her. Control the frame. If she's the one who says "well, erm, I should get going, it was nice chatting" then that's not good. Make sure you're the one who brings it to a natural, graceful conclusion.
Alexa 95 Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 22 hours ago, Mystery4u said: Virus this virus that blah blah blah, just meet up and go for a walk and grab some food to have in the park etc. I think some people like to respect the rules.
Alexa 95 Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 2 hours ago, rjc149 said: Yeah, that's the tough part of virtual dating. It's not a natural medium for human interaction, so it's hard to escalate sexual tension naturally. What you risk doing is actually lowering her interest and the sexual tension, by having this much communication at this initial stage of dating. Texting several times per day, 4-hour video chats etc. -- you've never met her. It's really too much. You don't want things to get too familiar too quickly. When conversation begins to meander and feel forced, and all you have is conversation because there is no non-verbal communication or shared sensory experience of a venue environment, you're in a bit of trouble. What should you expect on a video call date? If it absolutely needs to happen, then expect nothing. Have a drink on hand, and since the date cannot physically escalate to a successful conclusion, make sure YOU are the one who calls time on it, not her. Control the frame. If she's the one who says "well, erm, I should get going, it was nice chatting" then that's not good. Make sure you're the one who brings it to a natural, graceful conclusion. You got it the wrong way around. Females are fine with plenty of chit chat. Its men who's attraction is lowered.
Mystery4u Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 1 minute ago, Alexa 95 said: I think some people like to respect the rules. Err there is nothing in the rules here (UK) that say you cannot meet someone like I suggested, so try again. OP has a valid reason to not meeting, nothing to do with rules.
Alexa 95 Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 3 minutes ago, Mystery4u said: Err there is nothing in the rules here (UK) that say you cannot meet someone like I suggested, so try again. OP has a valid reason to not meeting, nothing to do with rules. Is he in the UK? Coming from a different angle, is it safe to meet anyone, the risk is still high.
Miss Spider Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 Kinda weird, but also sounds kind of fun. I would just expect more of getting to know each other and maybe some tiddies. Just kidding on the tiddies. But get ready for some more in-depth questions for sure. Oh and make sure the lighting and everything is right. Haha
manfrombelow Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 I'm sorry if OP might not like what I'm about to say. But, IMO, there's no such thing as a "virtual" date. It's either a real date or it's nothing. Virtual dates lead to nowhere most of the time. It's not worth it.
Author szechuanhorse Posted June 12, 2020 Author Posted June 12, 2020 2 hours ago, manfrombelow said: I'm sorry if OP might not like what I'm about to say. But, IMO, there's no such thing as a "virtual" date. It's either a real date or it's nothing. Virtual dates lead to nowhere most of the time. It's not worth it. Hi manfrombelow and everyone else that commented about it not being a date and being worthless and all that. I understand your comments but what really makes a date 'a date? I understand you need to test physical chemistry but there are so many couples that met online, only to meet in person monthsater and everything was fine. She rescheduled our date for later this weekend due to her clients needing more of her time for the last two evenings. The fact she rescheduled is a good sign to some extent, means she's at least curious and had fun in our last chat. I think having dates this way is a good way to get a vibe of their real intentions, if they want to get drunk and hookup, or take things a bit more seriously. So doing it this way tests if you click well without distraction or temptation. Saying all this, I'd still rather do physical dates and day of the week! And to answer some questions, we are both UK based but due to her living situation currently she can't expose herself much in public due to a very unwell family member that she lives with.
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