hernandez90 Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 So I've started talking to this girl on a dating app. The conversation flowed well to begin with. She seems really nice and from her pics she looks very attractive. Usually on a dating app, I will ask if they're up for meeting after a few hours, if the conversation is flowing freely. I asked this girl for her number and she told me she was 'trying to do things a bit differently' and didn't want to give her number out until she felt comfortable. Fair enough. She said she hadn't used dating apps before. Anyway, we chatted a bit more, then I gave her my number, and said she could text me if she wanted to carry on talking. After a few days, she messaged me and said 'sorry for being slow and weird, you seem nice so I'm going to be honest - I'm still getting over a break up'. and she needed to be really comfortable before meeting up Again, fine, there's no rush to meet during lockdown so I'm happy to take it slow. Since then, though, I feel like I'm having to make a lot of effort to keep the conversation flowing. She seems nice, and I'm up for meeting up with her, as you can only tell so much about someone over messaging before you've met them. I'm not sure how to proceed. I don't want to put pressure on her, as I appreciate her honesty with me, but then again I can't wait around forever. She either wants to meet or she doesn't.
Juha Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Don't waste your time on this woman, she knows you are interested. Unfortunately she is damaged with what has gone on with her dating life. You can keep talking with her if you still want to see what happens, but you really need to keep looking and dating other women A woman damaged like her is not going to make anything easy and is going to suck your time and effort from you Look for someone who actually wants to meet and date Talking and texting is a complete waste if they do not want to meet 2
d0nnivain Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 She doesn't want to meet. She is still hung up on her EX. That may be a convenient excuse for you don't float her boat enough to make an effort but she enjoys the ego stroke you are providing. Move along. She has your #. If she doesn't use it, her loss. Stop chasing.
justwhoiam Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 3 hours ago, hernandez90 said: I'm not sure how to proceed. Make her smile. Make her laugh. And don't message too much. Ask if she's up for a call. If she says yes, then you call her. See how you feel while talking to her on the phone. If she's talkative, down to earth, fun, etc. If she says no, stop contact.
Mystery4u Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 She's making excuses already, listen to them. Why would you want to get involved with someone not over their ex? You do nothing. Do not contact her. She has your number if she wants to meet up.
smackie9 Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 oldest tricks in the "1000 ways to say you are not interested" book..... not wanting to give out her number, mentioned getting over a breakup. Now she's not putting in effort.... that's 3 rejections. She's probably just looking for attention while she weighs her options. Ditch this one, she's a time waster. 1
Ami1uwant Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Don’t dismiss her... just say say to her.... i know you might not be ready to date now. When you are ready, call me. save her number and look for other people. Don’t be rebound or shoulder to cry on. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 There is no next step, OP. She's already turned you down, albeit indirectly. She doesn't want to take this further. 2
rjc149 Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 (edited) When you try to keep a dialogue going with a girl over text, you're not building attraction. You are lowering it. It's needy and desperate. When a girl won't give her your number and insists all communication be through the app messenger, next. When a girl insists on you giving her your number, rather than giving you hers or exchanging them mutually, next. When a girl says anything along the lines of "I'm not ready to date," next. By "next" I mean: "No worries. Get in touch when you want to meet up." (say when, not if -- it leaves the door open a little wider) And then never contact her again. If she doesn't contact you, she wasn't interested. Reminding her that you're still down to meet up isn't going to make her interested. Especially if she wouldn't even give you her number. An interested woman will give you her number, and agree to meet for a date when you ask. Don't waste time jumping through any hoops. If she isn't comfortable with OLD, she shouldn't be on it wasting people's time. Don't indulge her. Best course of action is to walk away and meet new women. Edited June 10, 2020 by rjc149 2
ShyViolet Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 She doesn't sound that interested. I wouldn't keep pursuing this.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 Dude, she told you she's not available. Leave her alone. Don't come within 100 miles of anyone who says they are still recovering from a breakup. You hear that and you get a jet and go for hours in the opposite direction. If they share that point, even a bit, it means they are hugely still attached to the ex.
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