confused42 Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Both of us were in previous relationships I left my fiance (let's call him Jake) because I realised I wasn't happy with him, and that regardless of if I got with Mike or not, my life would be happier without him, and he would be happier with someone better suited. And surprising, Mike left his girlfriend for me, and we started dating. But... if you cheat together, will you cheat again? And.... he's worried that because he left his old gf for someone better, he is afraid he might do the same with me down the line. (Or that I might do it to him). Any advice from cheaters who've succeeded???
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Love does funny things to people. Sometimes two people meet and fate just brings them together. They just know they were meant for eachother and the cards fall as they may - Even though many others get hurt in the process. If you both are truely inlove, and want it to work, then all will place into place as it should be. If the trust isn't there to start, well, it's a unpredictable future, isn't it? I don't know what your full situation was with your previous bf and his gf, what the dynamtics were etc...How much love, happiness etc... Have to ask, you said you were suprised Mike left his gf for you. Why were you surprised? Question is too, can you both fully trust eachother? IS the love strong enough? Why not go to couples therapy together and work together to prevent cheating. I don't think many people cheat on purpose, there are reasons why. So, together find out why each of you cheated and don't make the same mistakes. Good luck and hope this helps.
wahaha1 Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 you guys probably need sometime to build up your trust system. Also, you two should feel lucky that both are available for each other at the same time...
newbby Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 umm its slightly worrying he thinks there may be someone better down the line...
whichwayisup Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 One other thing I didn't mention, but now remembered is the fact most people need time between relationships. Grieving has to take place, and getting over the person emotionally. Even if he wasn't inlove with her, I'm sure there are some feelings he has to sort though and deal with. So, take things slow.
tonyp56 Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 I am not a previous cheater, but I would offer this piece of advice. Think to yourself this line, If you aren't happy without him/her, you will never be happy with him/her. What that means is, if the unhappiness that you feel is you and not the person that you are with, no matter who you are with you won't be happy. Both of you ought to seek counseling now, so that both of you can be sure that the unhappiness that either of you felt isn't caused by something internal. Perhaps even go to couple counseling too, but do it now, before either of you spend years with each other, and then find that you were not meant to be together. Sometimes, we may feel unhappy, and if we aren't sure what is making us unhappy, we will never find happiness. Good Luck
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