maikel1822 Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 There is this girl who works in a pub near my house, the first time i saw her she smiled to me and i smiled back, the second time she toke my order and i said something not even funny and she started to laugh, then the next time she was cleaning the coffee machine i approach her introduced me and we talk for a bit but when i told her she was all gorgeous, she ran away, after that whenever i go to the pub doesnt matter where i set i always catch her stare at me when i am not looking but when i get close to the tills where she works, she pretendes not to see me, few time she dropped thing she was caring on the floor and if she take my order she will talk to me but she seems very nervous, i cant really say if she is scared or she is attracted to me! If some girls can give any idea
Mystery4u Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 Sounds like neither. You tell her she is gorgeous then she runs away and tries to avoid you from that moment? She is not interested. Learn from this. In future when you are interested in a girl, you need to make your intentions clear as soon as possible. Small chit chat will get you nowhere, be direct and ask her out on a date. With this specific girl you can try one more time by being direct, but don't expect a positive reply. If you do get one then its a nice surprise. If not then carry on with life till the next one.
Fox Sake Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 13 minutes ago, maikel1822 said:when i told her she was all gorgeous, she ran away. I cant really say if she is scared or she is attracted to me! Not a girl , but to me , sounds like you creeped her out a bit and now you’re stalking her at her job and she doesn’t feel comfortable.... god I hope I’m wrong 1
elaine567 Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 People who work in pubs need to be friendly to customers, but sometimes a customer gets the wrong idea and confuses friendliness for interest If the girl is confident then she will make a joke, be very officious or ignore any suggestive comments to avoid conflict. If more shy, she will hide away as soon as that customer comes into the place, and rely on others to serve him. She will avoid interaction in case she has to turn him down in the middle of her work. Awkward. Watching you may be more about making sure she can avoid you rather than interest. BUT who knows really? All you can do is try to chat to her normally, forget the compliments, but if she doesn't seem that friendly then best to take the hint. 2
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 I agree with elaine567. She flirted with you initially because it was part of her job. You mistook that for genuine personal interest which emboldened you. You think you are being confident; she now thinks you are creepy. Sorry. Back off. Just be another customer. Women in hospitality know exactly how to make it perfectly clear with no room for interpretation if they like a guy. The will say unequivocal things along the lines of "I have Tuesday off. Where are you taking me?" They don't play coy. Anything other then that level of blunt directness is incidental flirting they do as part of the job 3
ExpatInItaly Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 I don't think she is shy or scared. I think she simply doesn't want you making any other advances, so she avoids you rather than have an awkward encounter. 3
preraph Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 She was just doing her job, which is serving and being friendly to customers so they come back. You flirted, making her feel awkward,and now she is just doing the bare minimum she has to and hopes you are smart enough to take the hint she isn't interested. 3
ccas93 Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 He was attracted to her, went up to her like a man, introduced himself, and gave her a compliment. Nothing to be ashamed of. I guess we are so far into the world of social distancing and dating apps where this is now considered creepy and awkward behavior. lol While she has absolutely no obligation to reciprocate interest, I think she's the awkward one in this situation. OP, don't bother yourself with an adult who acts like this when you didn't do anything wrong or creepy. 2
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 I didn't say he DID anything creepy. I said she perceives it as creepy. Again, she was doing her job. He expressed a desire for more but she doesn't have the social skill set to politely say no thank you. . . hence it's all weird now.
ccas93 Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 1 minute ago, d0nnivain said: I didn't say he DID anything creepy. I said she perceives it as creepy. Again, she was doing her job. He expressed a desire for more but she doesn't have the social skill set to politely say no thank you. . . hence it's all weird now. woah woah, I was not even referring to anything you said in particular. otherwise I would have quoted you
elaine567 Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 Why it is considered creepy is because she is at work and she will feel like a sitting duck. She has no option but to be nice to him, he is a customer, her job may depend on it. Women at work are not items on a supermarket shelf, waiting to be picked up by some man. They have a job to do and it is hardly fair for them to be put in awkward positions by guys looking for a date... 2
preraph Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 I can't help but add just in general that going up to a woman you don't know and telling them how pretty they are isn't flattering to most women. Far better to leave that aside and just talk to her a little like a person instead of a sex object. 2 1
miranda561 Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 8 hours ago, maikel1822 said: There is this girl who works in a pub near my house, the first time i saw her she smiled to me and i smiled back, the second time she toke my order and i said something not even funny and she started to laugh, then the next time she was cleaning the coffee machine i approach her introduced me and we talk for a bit but when i told her she was all gorgeous, she ran away, after that whenever i go to the pub doesnt matter where i set i always catch her stare at me when i am not looking but when i get close to the tills where she works, she pretendes not to see me, few time she dropped thing she was caring on the floor and if she take my order she will talk to me but she seems very nervous, i cant really say if she is scared or she is attracted to me! If some girls can give any idea Well I've been that person before in many situations . It could be either. She's attracted to you and is now acting awkward after the compliments... OR COULD be she got freaked out. And is now keeping her distance. I feel it could be the latter though.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 The gorgeous comment at work, in the middle of things, was too much. Servers are often friendly ... Some places hire servers for their warmth, energy and beauty. I wonder if you understand that certain people are just people lovers .. .and can turn up the charm. Doesn't mean they like us as romantic possibilities. 1
Miss Spider Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 (edited) I used to be SUPER shy and still am. I have ran away from guys I liked when they complimented me before. Another example is if there is a cute guy at the grocery store who is walking toward me to say hello, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear and run away to another aisle . It can really go either way. You don’t know why she is acting that way unless you ask her out. Edited June 4, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Ami1uwant Posted June 5, 2020 Posted June 5, 2020 What I’ve learned...don’t complement or give a line to a woman you just met. Don’t read to much into servers who are nice to you.
manfrombelow Posted June 5, 2020 Posted June 5, 2020 (edited) 11 hours ago, maikel1822 said: There is this girl who works in a pub near my house, the first time i saw her she smiled to me [/quote] 1. Doesn't mean anything. It's just a "diplomatic move". Her job as a service person requires her to smile at ALL CUSTOMERS, not only you. Quote and i smiled back, the second time she toke my order and i said something not even funny and she started to laugh, [/quote] 2. The same as above. Doesn't mean she wants the D. Quote then the next time she was cleaning the coffee machine i approach her introduced me and we talk for a bit but when i told her she was all gorgeous, she ran away, after that whenever i go to the pub doesnt matter where i set i always catch her stare at me when i am not looking but when i get close to the tills where she works, she pretendes not to see me, few time she dropped thing she was caring on the floor and if she take my order she will talk to me but she seems very nervous, i cant really say if she is scared or she is attracted to me! If some girls can give any idea. [/quote] 3. I was not there to see how you approached and kiss her a**, erm I mean "complimented" her, but anyhow, at this point, it doesn't matter if she's scared or nervous, you as a man now has two options: A- Try talking to her one more time and this time ask for her goddamn number and close the deal right then and there. B- Ignore her. That's it. Edited June 5, 2020 by manfrombelow
princessaurora Posted June 5, 2020 Posted June 5, 2020 She could be interested or she could not be and you're making her uncomfortable. I can relate to what Cookies said because I was extremely shy when my attractiveness first started blooming ( I was coming out of that awkward teen phase) and there was this one guy in particular that one of my friends knew that was so freakin gorgeous it was intimidating to be around him. Anytime he smiled at me I would look away because he made me so nervous and when he approached me or tried to talk to me I literally ran away. I probably gave the poor guy a complex. As I became accustomed to my looks though, being constantly told I was beautiful just gave me an uneasy feeling "like here's another creeper trying to hit on me" and even now that i'm married and older, there will be some customers who think i'm interested just because i'm nice to them. I'm in customer service, that's my job. So she could be shy and you're overwhelming her with compliments and looking at her so much. Or she could just be being friendly with you because she's a server. As far as her looking at you while you're sitting, it may be because she likes you or it may be because she's keeping an eye on you hoping you don't approach her. But if you want to find out which side of the spectrum her feelings are on, you're going to have to take a chance. Next time you see her, I would tell her you enjoy talking to her and you'd like to hang out with her sometime. Even if she's shy, that's such a casual statement, she'll most likely bite if she's interested. If she comes up with an excuse, she's not into you and you need to move on and focus on someone else. 1
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