simpycurious Posted June 6, 2020 Posted June 6, 2020 18 hours ago, simpycurious said: Yes, Pop that is what I meant....what is perfect for us individually.....I need to proof read more I don’t anything about astrology or what the signs mean other than I am a Gem. Pop that was suppose to be that I don't KNOW anything about astrology especially how it pertains to dating. 1
poppyfields Posted June 6, 2020 Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) Hey cookies, can you give us some closure to this story? Like what happened after you made your decision to not move forward romantically? Did you tell him? Did you ghost him? Is he good just being friends? Also wondering how you met him? I wouldn't expect a homeless man with no job to be on a dating app, but I guess ya never know. Gotta say, it was quite an intriguing read, I hope you can close it for us! Edited June 6, 2020 by poppyfields 1 2
Author Miss Spider Posted June 6, 2020 Author Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) Hi pop. Well, I'm not too proud of the ending of this one. It's keeping up with a theme that I've been trying to break, but my anxieties get so bad with confrontation/hurting people's feelings. I could lie to you guys so I don't look like a POS, but I'm going to be truthful. After he told me wanted to see me again, I wrote to him what I told you guys I wrote. He said he felt the same and he has thought about me a lot that day. I didn't respond then I blocked. He will never know what happened. We were also just acquaintances, really (only one "date" if you can even call it that). So I felt really weird saying anything. Initially, we met back in 2018 when I was still with my ex and he was playing at some venues here in indy and we partied together but never got to meet him more than in passing. He had a good living situation back then. Then a few weeks ago he friended me on FB. I accepted then he and sent me a wave.. Anyway, that is that. Right now I'm getting ready for another date.. This guy is a lawyer transplanted from Cali I met on a dating app. I'm kind of worried about this one. First, there was 0 connection in our texting. He asked me out really fast. He was kind of direct like "let's do this time. this place" and I like that take-charge attitude, but unfortunately, I have not built any rapport with him on text so I really don't what I'm in for. It's a shot in the dark and basically going on physical attraction (and although he is conventionally handsome, he's not really my type) Another thing I am not too fond of is that he did not text me yesterday to confirm. So when I woke up this morning at 9 I texted him "You still trying to meet today?" I was honestly hoping not to hear back but he said "yes. x at x" O.o Oh boy ...I have this ubiquitous 'why go when I can have more fun at home' feeling in the back of my mind, but I'm going to push through instead of be a dirtbag and cancel on him after I asked if we were still on Edited June 6, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 1 1
poppyfields Posted June 6, 2020 Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) Oh dear. Well try to keep an open mind, I recall with my very first serious bf, he asked me out and I so did NOT want to go. I'd known him from seeing him at various events, and while he was very good looking and successful, I felt nothing. I wanted to break the date so badly, but my friend urged me to go. So I went and fell hard for him right then and there while eating lunch! We dated for a few years, even got engaged! I broke it, I was super young, wanted to travel, and HE wanted to have babies! He was 10 years older, different life stages. So that wasn't gonna work but point is, I wanted to break the date as I felt zip, but ended up falling for him, so you never know! Let us know! Edited June 6, 2020 by poppyfields 1 1 1
FMW Posted June 6, 2020 Posted June 6, 2020 You clearly have conflicting feelings. You want to keep reaching out and "meeting" people online with an eye to actually meeting in person, but then when the time comes to meet you run the other direction. So I say go with your first instinct that makes you keep reaching out. The one that has led you to post about feeling lonely. As I've said before, I don't usually encourage dating just to be dating. But in your case, if you aren't happy waiting for a higher level of interest to hit you right off the bat, then your choices of how to proceed are limited. As far as not feeling a connection through texting, personally I sometimes have a hard time feeling a connection through texting with someone I'm already connected with. I need face to face to interaction. What interests me has proven to be hard to pinpoint by just making a list, so reading someone's profile wouldn't be much help to me. So the only way I would be able to tell if I really do feel a connection would be the actual meeting. That's a long-winded way to say - keep the date. Don't have any specific expectations, but make sure you're in a positive frame of mind before you leave to meet him. If you go into it with doubts or feeling blah about it you greatly decrease your chance of connecting. Good luck! 1 2
poppyfields Posted June 6, 2020 Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) 23 minutes ago, FMW said: If you go into it with doubts or feeling blah about it you greatly decrease your chance of connecting. True, but cookies often has doubts and feels meh after she commits to a date, so this advice is her good excuse to break it. Sometimes we have to push ourselves, step out of our comforts zone. And behave with integrity, meaning we make a date, keep the date! Look what happened to me, I felt so blah and meh before the date with my first bf, but I pushed myself, went and fell for him! Edited June 6, 2020 by poppyfields 1 1
poppyfields Posted June 6, 2020 Posted June 6, 2020 3 hours ago, simpycurious said: Pop that was suppose to be that I don't KNOW anything about astrology especially how it pertains to dating. I knew that simp, but thanks! I'm pretty good at filling in the blanks. 1
simpycurious Posted June 6, 2020 Posted June 6, 2020 13 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I knew that simp, but thanks! I'm pretty good at filling in the blanks. Thank you sorry for nothing being more clear. Still wondering how the whole astrology weighs into dating. Also, why surprised about being a Gem? 1
simpycurious Posted June 6, 2020 Posted June 6, 2020 On 6/5/2020 at 3:28 PM, poppyfields said: simp, I meant my shocked emoji kindly , I was surprised to learn you are a Gemini! My moon is in Gemini! The "gems" of the zodiac! What does it mean that your Moon is in Gemini? Why are you shocked? 1
Author Miss Spider Posted June 6, 2020 Author Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) Means that your moon is in the air, wind, and fire. quadrant... revolving around the sun about 2 degrees from your exalted Leo, rising Venus, and retrograding Mercury. So basically it means you’re freaking awesome. Also we are compatible, simpy. Explains a lot. Edited June 6, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2
Author Miss Spider Posted June 6, 2020 Author Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) So I had my date. Not a match. Our conversation had a lot more depth than I thought it would. But I should have known. He just wasn’t my type. He asked me if I would like to do it again. I said yes. And then as we were leaving I said the cliche” let’s do this again sometime” Anyway. He asked me out again for tomorrow. Just nope for me. Not a match. Also he’s a Scorpio and I like taureans. Sry I just do... I’m so defeated rn Edited June 6, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 1
Amanda141 Posted June 6, 2020 Posted June 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: So I had my date. Not a match. Our conversation had a lot more depth than I thought it would. I should have known. He just wasn’t my type. He asked me if I would like to do it again. I said yes. And then as we were leaving I said the cliche” let’s do this again sometime” Anyway. He asked me out again for tomorrow. Just nope for me. Not a match. Also he’s a Scorpio and I like taureans. Sry I just do... I’m so defeated rn Better now than later! It’s good to take a chance, a shot in the dark: sometimes it works, others it doesn’t, but we just have to keep on trying. Did he ask you to see u again by message or live? If I were you I’d just tell him the truth, that you didn’t feel enough connection to keep going 1 1
Author Miss Spider Posted June 6, 2020 Author Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, amanda141 said: Better now than later! It’s good to take a chance, a shot in the dark: sometimes it works, others it doesn’t, but we just have to keep on trying. Did he ask you to see u again by message or live? If I were you I’d just tell him the truth, that you didn’t feel enough connection to keep going Thank you.Yea by text message but I told him live 2x I would like to see him again when he asked, so I feel dumb... I just feel really dumb all around...feel just blah about dating I hope dating is going better for you than it is for me, Amanda x Especially after you have started over fresh Edited June 6, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
simpycurious Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 (edited) I am going to invest a little time learning about the various signs (namely MINE) and another particular one. I honestly have never put much thought into it and DON"T LIKE NOT KNOWING....lol. ^^^ What does it explain, CD? You should not feel dumb if you are not interested. You don't owe anything to anyone other than yourself. Edited June 7, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Amanda141 Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 @Cookiesandough I understand it’s not easy to tell someone in person that you don’t want to see him again, but if I were you I would have been more generic, saying something like “yeah we’ll see” anyway since now I am in the UK, but next week I’m going be back to Italy, I took a break for dating... there is no point in dating someone now since I am leaving soon for the whole summer. Also, recently an Italian guy, someone from my town whom I’ve dated for a bit in the past texted me again, and I should see him when I go back. I don’t know, I’ll see how things go, and of course I’ll post here on loveshack to say how things are going (and hopefully this will help me forget the other guy ahah) 3
Amanda141 Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 @Cookiesandough so right now no dating, I hope next week will be good He’s a scorpio, I’m a cancer.. it should work but let’s see ahah
nospam99 Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 cookies said ''Yea by text message but I told him live 2x I would like to see him again when he asked, so I feel dumb...'' Guy here (duh). A couple of years ago I had two first meetings two days apart. In both cases I asked if they wanted to see me again, they said yes, and then messaged or texted me the next day to 'take it back'. I posted about it here on LS and was advised that, because women are taught to 'be nice', asking for a next date at a first meeting/date puts them 'on the spot' and any 'yes' may be no more than avoiding saying 'no', even if 'no' is the truth. Since then, my first meeting closer, if I DO want to see them again, is only say that much and add that I'll contact them again within a day to suggest a specific date. Cookies, I guess your date has not yet learned the lesson I learned. And you haven't learned YOUR lesson to give a non-committal answer. Keep trying to not say 'yes' when you don't really mean it. And I imagine you will also keep trying to meet guys. Good luck on both keep tryings! :D 2
Fox Sake Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 (edited) 28 minutes ago, amanda141 said: @Cookiesandough so right now no dating, I hope next week will be good He’s a scorpio, I’m a cancer.. it should work but let’s see ahah 59 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Means that your moon is in the air, wind, and fire. quadrant... revolving around the sun about 2 degrees from your exalted Leo, rising Venus, and retrograding Mercury. So basically it means you’re freaking awesome. Also we are compatible, simpy. Explains a lot. I had a few different people do my star chart before now. I was born at some funny time and I come out with a strange result ... probably explains a lot! It made my star chart Leo / Leo/ Leo There’s something to be said for star compatibility, to some extent , no matter how many people snub it Don’t feel dumb Cookies. Every failure brings you closer to your success Edited June 7, 2020 by Fox Sake 1
simpycurious Posted June 8, 2020 Posted June 8, 2020 On 6/6/2020 at 7:00 PM, simpycurious said: I am going to invest a little time learning about the various signs (namely MINE) and another particular one. I honestly have never put much thought into it and DON"T LIKE NOT KNOWING....lol. ^^^ What does it explain, CD? You should not feel dumb if you are not interested. You don't owe anything to anyone other than yourself. I wonder how many people KNOW the sign of the person they are dating. Would you NOT go on a date with someone with a NON-compatible sign even if they checked most every other box? 2
5x5 Posted June 9, 2020 Posted June 9, 2020 3 hours ago, simpycurious said: I wonder how many people KNOW the sign of the person they are dating. Would you NOT go on a date with someone with a NON-compatible sign even if they checked most every other box? Given that astrology is complete and utter nonsense, I don't think it matters what a persons "sign" is. 2
simpycurious Posted June 9, 2020 Posted June 9, 2020 1 minute ago, 5x5 said: Given that astrology is complete and utter nonsense, I don't think it matters what a persons "sign" is. I posed the question because I am not well versed and was curious how much "stock" people put into astrology as a whole. On 6/6/2020 at 6:32 PM, Cookiesandough said: Means that your moon is in the air, wind, and fire. quadrant... revolving around the sun about 2 degrees from your exalted Leo, rising Venus, and retrograding Mercury. So basically it means you’re freaking awesome. Also we are compatible, simpy. Explains a lot. What does it explain, CD? On 6/6/2020 at 7:03 PM, amanda141 said: @Cookiesandough so right now no dating, I hope next week will be good He’s a scorpio, I’m a cancer.. it should work but let’s see ahah So, you think it will work based on the compatibility of your sign and his? 1
Dexterr Posted June 9, 2020 Posted June 9, 2020 On 6/5/2020 at 1:21 AM, Fox Sake said: It’s about having incredibly high standards for yourself and never feeling a real connection with many people. It sucks. But it’s also great So an alcoholic who can't pull his weight is considered "high standard"? 1
Author Miss Spider Posted June 9, 2020 Author Posted June 9, 2020 13 hours ago, simpycurious said: I posed the question because I am not well versed and was curious how much "stock" people put into astrology as a whole. What does it explain, CD? So, you think it will work based on the compatibility of your sign and his? Simpy , I wouldn’t skip on a guy cuz of his sign . I don’t really believe in astrology to be honest... But just based on what I’ve read Scorpio and I wouldn’t match ... and we didn’t... but that has more to do with the fact he was just kind of boring... Guess who has 3 dates lined up this week? Yes!!!! Me:D One is a sag. One is a Leo. And the last one I’m not sure. I hope it’s a taurean because the description of taurean makes them seem dope. 54 minutes ago, Dexterr said: So an alcoholic who can't pull his weight is considered "high standard"? Lol.
poppyfields Posted June 9, 2020 Posted June 9, 2020 (edited) How do folks know someone's sign before even meeting? Is this question asked on the app or dating site? I've never seen it nor would I ever ask someone, especially before a first meet. Or ever! Lol Same with age. Everyone seems to know each other's age before meeting! The site I was on asked for a range of the person you are looking for, not your own age. I'm baffled by this. Where I am from it is considered improper to ask someone's age especially before a first meet or date. Yet it appears everyone knows this! Same with sign. I didn't discover.what my bf's sign was until about a month in when I asked when his bday was (to buy a card and small gift) and on my own I figured it out. To me, and most in my neck of the woods, both age and sign are totally irrelevant. Edited June 9, 2020 by poppyfields 1
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