Realitysux Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 (edited) I cant go to work Tomorrow. I'm going to call in for tomorrow and friday and take a few days off. It started today when I realized what I became and I couldn't even stand how I ended up. 7 years ago, I got a job and there was a man there who I became obsessed with. I end up quitting my job and sending an email since he had my personal email so he would not reach out and I would get over the obsession. It didnt work .. i have experienced obsessions before. I started to harass him via email and his corporate lawyers at work so I would get confirmation that what we had was gone and I would be able to move on. I was ignored and end up arrested. When I was arrested, I received disclosure and he altered the emails to help me. The obsession turned into depression and I stopped functioning. I checked myself into a mental hospital but did not receive any help or support. Received mental health treatment after the arrest but what the drs said and what he did were different so I did not get any help. I am in tears as I write this for those that think I'm entitled or I dont have emotions. This has affected my life for 7 years. I also had a few things like a door bell rang at 5:30 in the morning and he drove by my house with a coworker. I also recieved facebook messages from people he worked with asking me why I quit and I knew he was behind them so I kept sending emails to him and his lawyer. I was online and his friend was online and from there it started. I was hacked and followed online as people tried to connect with me and put me down. When I was offline I had people he knew trying to get me to gyms. Random people contacting me. I became homeless and I did not work as I couldn't do anything but drag my feet trying to find another way. I contacted his lawyers after the charges and tried to get them to stop his contact so I could move on. I was obsessed. It happened before. It was the easiest way for me to end it. I can handle anything but these obsessions. I think it's because I did not have experience with love from anyone so when I start to feel it, it becomes and obsession so I avoid it. I created distance and I try to focus on myself again. 5 years later and I end up in kitchener. I had a ride who was also hacked and they knew where I was going. When I got here, they were online again and they hacked my moms phone and several real people over the course of 5 years all over ontario have been involved. They try to fix me .. they give me advice on dating and love and tell me to move on from the man. I explain to the man I'm obsessed and he needs to stop and it doesnt stop. Its everywhere. I have send several emails and voicemails and tons of other things asking to be left alone but nothing has changed. 7 years later I am home in bed, I cant move, I cant go to work .. I cant walk away because i dont know how to get over the obsession which is now with several other people. I dont understand how he could go on with his life knowing that mine was destroyed and not allow me to be. This time I dont know how to pick myself up since all my coping is gone. Not available. I'm also so used to correspondence with him and everyone else that the obsession has grown. Edited June 4, 2020 by Realitysux 1
Author Realitysux Posted June 4, 2020 Author Posted June 4, 2020 (edited) Usually the obsessions are closed and I move on. I've never had one that wasn't closed and this is what happened. I'm now 37 and I was 30 when i met him they hacked my past and they know everything about me. They write about how they dont approve of me and pole fun at me daily but i am really struggling. I want to stay in bed for days . Edited June 4, 2020 by Realitysux
poppyfields Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 (edited) Reality, I'm so sorry, this sounds horrible!! Are you still homeless, I hope not! ((Hugs)) Are you in the US? If so, here is my advice. Make an appt asap with your doctor, he/she will refer you to a mental health professional who will write you a note allowing you up to 3 months leave under the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). Re pay, you will be paid by State Disability, 60% of your salary, tax free! That's the law, every state has. Your employer cannot terminate you during this time, it is against the labor laws in our country and you could sue them if they did fire you and win or they would settle first. So trust me, you won't get fired and god knows if anyone needs the time off from work, it's you! During your time off, you need to decompress, and see your doctor/therapist 1-2 times a week to determine why it is you are prone to having so many unhealthy obsessions and then take steps to resolve. None of us here can help you with that, as these are deep-rooted issues that most likely go way back and too complex. Please do this, it will be okay I promise. If you are not in the US, let me know what country you're in and I will research the laws there. Okay? Hang in! Again, it will be okay. Edited June 4, 2020 by poppyfields
Author Realitysux Posted June 4, 2020 Author Posted June 4, 2020 (edited) No I am not homeless now. I have had my house for five years and I'm doing well financially. I am going to be buying a car on saturday depending if the car has rust as it sounds like what I'm looking for. I am taking today off work and I'm going to deal with the obsession that I have allowed to take over my life for 7 years. I'm going to set up appointments for therapy and whatever else I need to do to move on. Edited June 4, 2020 by Realitysux
Mystery4u Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 You are wasting so much time/thoughts/energy on someone who is not doing the same back to you. Why give your attention to someone who doesn't deserve it? Love is a two way thing. It needs both people to feel the same about each other. You felt a certain way about him. He felt a different way about you. There is nothing wrong with that, we can't force people to feel a certain way. You need to realise that life is too short. It's been 7 years already. It's better to spend your precious time on this Earth with someone who appreciates you for you and feels the same about you as you do about them.
Author Realitysux Posted June 4, 2020 Author Posted June 4, 2020 34 minutes ago, Mystery4u said: You are wasting so much time/thoughts/energy on someone who is not doing the same back to you. Why give your attention to someone who doesn't deserve it? Love is a two way thing. It needs both people to feel the same about each other. You felt a certain way about him. He felt a different way about you. There is nothing wrong with that, we can't force people to feel a certain way. You need to realise that life is too short. It's been 7 years already. It's better to spend your precious time on this Earth with someone who appreciates you for you and feels the same about you as you do about them. I think what makes this so hard is the amount of people who took part in this. As a 46 year old man, he could have allowed this to be finished without letting it drag on for 7 years. I tried to connect with others but they were involved on his behalf to tell me to move on. Then those same people were messaging me and asking if I was okay. It was a lot to take and it prevented me from moving on.
Author Realitysux Posted June 4, 2020 Author Posted June 4, 2020 (edited) I feel horrible. I am reading more stuff about how I need a healthy relationship and everyone is taking part in this. I am moving on with no dignity. Its all gone and the amount of people in on this. It's very hurtful. Edited June 4, 2020 by Realitysux
FMW Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 I'm sorry you're hurting, it's clear that you want help from your many posts here. I never know what to say to you because your story is really unclear - you skim over things saying you were hacked, lots of people participated, etc. It just doesn't make sense enough to me to form any helpful comments. I have no clue what actually happened other than the few phrases you use over and over and you saying that you are obsessed. Not much to go on. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 Quote I'm glad to hear that you are addressing this. Good for you. Therapy should help. I usually start break ups with a list. Try making one that identifies all the ways he's bad for you & the ways he's ruined your life: 1. Wasted 7 years 2. Went to jail 3. Was homeless 4. continues to be an unhealthy obsession 5. adversely affected ability to work (you took today off) 6. Causes repetitive thoughts Just free think & write, write, write. Get all the poison out of your soul & on paper. 1
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