legrtova Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Hey guys...sorry to bug ya, just needed to vent and see if someone can offer some hopeful words. It's been a month since the break up for me. I love this man with all my heart. I've had good days when I felt strong, but today is a definate setback. I'm having anxiety attacts again, my stomach feels like it will just take over my whole body, I wanna cry and die.I am not gonna die , but I am still afraid to cry...not really sure why. It feels like if I cry I will lose control and it will hurt more? It would be probably helpful, but I'm a chicken... Any ideas how to start thinking positive again? Thank you
westernxer Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 First thing you need to do is cry it out of your system. Bottling it up won't make things better.
slubberdegullion Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Go ahead, and cry if you want. Just don't expect it to change anything. You'll still miss the fellow but now you'll have mascara lines on your face, puffy eyes and a runny nose. Trying to generate positive thoughts when you know, in your heart of hearts, that it's just a mask isn't going to do you any good. Your best bet is simply to stay connected to friends and family. Hang around people that lift your spirits. Watch a funny movie. (Young Frankenstein is one of my favourites.) Ruminating on your ex will just make things worse. So get out and have some fun!
legrtova Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 My family lives 8000 miles away. I have few friends here, but heck, they need a break from me now It's nasty outside today, I think it's affecting me, too. Thanks guys:rolleyes:
brooke7777 Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Those bad days are the worst. It's been about a little over a month and a half since we broke up and I still have my fair share of bad days. Sundays seem to be my anxiety attack day. I guess it's because Sunday was always our day to spend every waking moment together. No matter how hard I try to keep myself occupied on Sundays, I still find myself randomly bursting into tears. I think that crying is therapeutic and that you should let it all out. Do you ever wonder where all of the tears come from? As for the weather...I think it definitely toys with my emotions. I'm from the Philadelphia area and it has been pretty crappy the past few days. It just makes me more depressed.
legrtova Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Yeah, mine are Saturdays.... How are you doing tonight?
tonyp56 Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Well, I guess we are all on the same page or something, because today was a bad day for me too. My wife of 11 years (almost 7 married) left me 4 weeks and 4 days ago, and we spent today together with our 3 kids, long story short, it killed me. I overheard her on the phone with her man that she left me for, saying "I love you" right off, I haven't heard her say that to me in over a month now. I don't know, after 11 years of someone saying I love you, I want to spend my life with you, and I'll always be with you, suddenly finding out 7 months ago that she's been unhappy for a while, and that she has been lying to me about being ok, and now to go to her saying that she doesn't want me anymore, and to hear her say I love you to someone else, just kills me. I just hope tomorrow will be better.
johan Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 I know those days. It's been 5 weeks for me and my ex. Seems like there was a lot of breakups about the same time. Yesterday was hard for me, but today was not so bad, even though the weather was a drag. I know that crying is a way to release those feelings for a while. Maybe you're like me and crying doesn't come easy to you. Hang in there. You're not alone.
jc Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Sundays are the bad days for me...not sure why, they just feel lonely. I lie in bed and think about why things didn't work out, why he couldn't love me enough to choose me, rather than drinking and his friends. Yes I know he's immature, but I still love him unfortunately. If crying is a release, it scares me to think of how much pain I have bottled up inside of me...sometimes when I start crying, I'm scared I'll never stop.
brooke7777 Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 So...today is not going so well for me either. I had a rough morning on the way to work...was able to compose myself for work...and the second i set foot in the car, I lost it again. The weather is still crappy...so I'm gonna blame it on that. I've found myself overanalyzing every aspect of the relationship/break up. Just when I think there's nothing else I can question, I come up with 10 more questions. I hope everyone else is having a better day.
legrtova Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Yeah, it's a bit better here, but the weather is crappy today...snowing, dark and cold. Ugh. Since a lot of us have had the same time frame, maybe this is just another step to moving on? Let's try to look at it that way ... Hope your days are getting better.... Too bad we all are not in the same city, we could just go out for a beer and talk crap
off2sea Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 On the really bad days, I try to go for a long walk and then watch a favorite "feel good" movie. Two suggestions: "Love Actually" & the "Birdcage."
civettuolo Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 Legrtova, A month you are doing it!! Maybe the anxiety is coming from you getting away from that habit of him,you love him still so that makes it harder maybe your subconscious is resisting. You need to grieve so maybe you should set aside some time and just cry it out and be done with the tears. Don't stop yourself from having a good cry ,maybe that would make you feel better. Leaving any relationship that doesn't work - forces you to look at who you really are - perhaps for the first time in a long time and realize we need to work on ourselves. That's what i like to focus on during times like this. What can i do to make me a better person. And keep busy ,but don't repress feelings. Keep posting ,write in a journal. You be be fine and I am very proud of you. "It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." Alan Cohen: Still NC:love:
legrtova Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 Hey all, thanks for your stories. It helps to know people are going through it and making it! It's sunny here today and I see the Sun in my life again. A little setback today...his wife emailed me and I made a mistake to re-read his last letter to me again. Yep, gave me hope again. Dang it! But the good thing is that even when I busted my self being hopeful, I realized I don't want him! I don't want him and I don't need him! I have so much to do in life.... Posting here takes a lot of time of my life right now...it helps SOOO much!!!! Still NC! Yay!
megabit15 Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 Hey, glad to hear that a day or two waiting made a difference for you.
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