Author GenLondon Posted June 4, 2020 Author Posted June 4, 2020 @Malin889 he's said today that he saw a flat he likes online, but it's not available for 2 months and it's on the same road as we're living now. I cried, I can't live like this for two months, and the thought of him being less than 100 yards away all the time fills me with dread for the future. My parents are a 5 hour drive away, they have offered me a spare room if I need to escape but I want to stand my ground and not let him see any weakness. I don't know if he's thinking that 2 months is long enough for him to be able to change my mind? I had a look this morning and found 9 other flats that are nice, that are available in less than 2 weeks and not on the same street, so I don't understand why he's not considering them.
spiritedaway2003 Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 22 hours ago, GenLondon said: @Malin889 and everyone else, I truly appreciate everything you've said. I do want more from life, and I didn't see how sad I was until a few months ago. It's heartbreaking because I do care about him. We talked last night and I told him that it's not fair on either of us to be tied to something that doesn't resemble a relationship. He blamed me for pulling away in the last few months and said that's why he's not been trying to make an effort. From my point of view I've been trying for years to get us back on track, and my heart has just given up. I don't know that if he did really try recently it would have made a difference, but if you want something badly enough you fight for it not matter what resistance you're up against. Anyway, we're now stuck in the same house together until he finds somewhere new to move to so things are a little tense today, but I'm thinking about all the things I'm looking forward to and trying to stay strong and positive. Much love to you all x If you both are incompatible, it's not going to get better even if you tied the knot together. You did what's necessary for you. Transitions are never easy --- good luck.
Malin889 Posted June 4, 2020 Posted June 4, 2020 1 hour ago, GenLondon said: @Malin889 he's said today that he saw a flat he likes online, but it's not available for 2 months and it's on the same road as we're living now. I cried, I can't live like this for two months, and the thought of him being less than 100 yards away all the time fills me with dread for the future. My parents are a 5 hour drive away, they have offered me a spare room if I need to escape but I want to stand my ground and not let him see any weakness. I don't know if he's thinking that 2 months is long enough for him to be able to change my mind? I had a look this morning and found 9 other flats that are nice, that are available in less than 2 weeks and not on the same street, so I don't understand why he's not considering them. You've dated him for years, it's ok for him to see weakness. And it's not weakness if you leave, it's you doing what you can to get through the situation. I mean, if you're working from home or whatever and need to concentrate on work, having him around may be hard if he wants to talk, brings things up, fights, etc. Yes, it sounds like he wants to stay close by by staying on the same street as you (really, what's his point in doing that?) and he probably does want to try to change your mind. Recommend to him about the 9 other apartments you found. Or, would you consider moving out instead? (Although I do think it's gentlemanly for the man to move out.) One thing I do have to say is, not to defend him, but it does take a while to move sometimes, especially when someone isn't expecting it. He needs to save up for a new place, pack, you need to divide up the things. So 2 months might go by very quickly. But still, he should find a place that's not on the same street!
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