whereismylifegoing Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 hi all, this site seems to give the best info on these same situations. but here goes..... i meet this girl about six years ago and i happen to fall in love with her. we made a great couple and never broke up once. until june of this year.... she canned me in the begginning of summer and said that she needs to figure things out in her life and feels like there are things missing in her life. she said she wanted to see other people and other fantastic things that broke my heart into grains of sand. so i gave back all of her stuff. all her pictures, little cards she used to write me, anything i had that reminded me of her i gave back. i thought i would never feel anybetter than i did when we first broke up. i was crying in my beer and begging her to come back and acted totally out of character. i wouldn't beg for anything. i did that for two weeks and finally gave up and started to not call her at all. fast forward it's been three months and we still arent' back together but i feel much better than i used to. still not totally over it but i'm still climbing out of the hole and now i'm ready to date again. i was keeping in touch with her on a weekly basis and finally said "i don't want to do this anymore". so a couple of weeks go by and she calls me to just say hi. wtf does that mean? i date her for six years and all she says is hi? and my birthday came and went she stopped over and she didn't even get me a card. bitch. her thing now is that she wants to stay friends because "if we cant' be friends how are we ever going to get back together". so i try the friends thing for a week and call her a few times and it seems like she doesn't feel like talking or hanging out with me. here's where i'm at now.... she wants to be friends but doesn't call.....i wonder if it's even worth trying. she hooked up with some guy over the summer for two weeks and canned him because she didnt' want a boyfriend and claims she never had sex with anybody since me (which i believe her). btw... i never treated her bad, infact i treated her real good (we were together for five years that's got to show for something). but i still love her and i want her back but i'm at a point of serious confusion. should i just go back to not talking to her but stay on good terms? or just say f the whole thing? OH Yea... she is 21 and i'm a year older. HELP P.S. is it true that women have a magical radar that goes off when there ex moves on? HELP
westernxer Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Five years together means nothing... she's young and clueless, and hungry for variety. If you can handle friendship, then do it. But it sounds like it hurts too much, so don't do it anymore. Listen to your gut instinct. Your gut never lies, ever.
slubberdegullion Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Your gut never lies, ever. Nonsense. My gut tells me that I want a cigarette. My gut tells me that I should leap into bed with a chick that lives in the neighbourhood. And my gut tells me that I'm hungry when I shouldn't eat. Point is, some people are masters at bypassing, or otherwise circumventing, one's built-in warning system. So while my friend westernxer has a point about trusting your instincts, a blanket statement about your gut never lying is simply wrong.
Jayhawks Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 She feels she is missing out on life and you were tyeing her down. She still wants you on the back burner in case she changes her mind in the future. She doesn't really want to be friends but she feels a little guilt for dumping you and is trying to ease her conscience. I wouldn't do the friends thing until you are sure your feelings are only friendly. Stay with NC. Never be second banana. You deserve better.
Author whereismylifegoing Posted October 10, 2005 Author Posted October 10, 2005 she says she's not getting into any relationships until she is ready to.... her big thing is wanting to be single.... i don't want to think about her anymore somebody shoot me! Also her birthday is coming up in a few weeks and i wondering if i should even stop by or talk to her. i'm defidentally not getting her anything, not even a card. well mabey a card with a big middle finger that i will draw in there.
legrtova Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 well mabey a card with a big middle finger that i will draw in there. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Sorry, that just sounds too funny. I agree with other posts, don't wait around for her to make up her mind. NC works like magic, it helps you to move on, but it could also help to win her back.
Author whereismylifegoing Posted October 10, 2005 Author Posted October 10, 2005 if she calls me during NC, do i pick up or just ignore? or do i just act normal... somebody please give a good definition of NC.
Jayhawks Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 If you talk to her during NC then it really isn't NC, is it? No Contact means you end all association with that person until your emotions have a chance to heal. To keep talking to her will keep her in your mind and heart. NC is for you, not her. Practice NC until you can be indifferent to her presence.
westernxer Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 Nonsense. My gut tells me that I want a cigarette. My gut tells me that I should leap into bed with a chick that lives in the neighbourhood. And my gut tells me that I'm hungry when I shouldn't eat. You're describing a psychological addiction (cigarettes), a carnal desire (sex with a chick) and a physical necessity (food). Those are needs, not instincts.
slubberdegullion Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 OK, I'm with you. I guess "gut instincts" may mean something different to each of us. No sweat.
Author whereismylifegoing Posted October 12, 2005 Author Posted October 12, 2005 Thanks guys i'll let the magic healing begin! she still hasn't called me but screw her... she left me, her loss. i'll find somebody else eventually that likes me just the way i am (and i hope she is better looking too) (and is a nympho) (hopefully a shy nympho) (a nympho that doesn't cheat) (and likes to pay for things also). i hope one day i get to rub that **** in her face and tell her to eat the **** i'm going to rub in her face. i'm just kidding i started NC about two weeks ago and i really am totally fine.
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