mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 I had connected with a guy on Hinge. We were texting today. I asked how his weekend was, he said it was alright then it wasn't. I asked why, he said he went into the city this weekend for protesting for the George Floyd cause. I saw some of it on the news and knew people would be looting because of it. And sure enough they did. I said I avoided that because of just such reasons and then he cut me off. He said he is a social justice liberal and he fights for causes in his community. While he respectedmy opinion he didn't see a future so hope I find what I am looking for. I'm blue but responded with class and said "I'm sorry you feel that way. I hope you find what you are looking for as well.". 1
poppyfields Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) Is this the same guy you posted about last week? Anyway, it's an emotional time right now, with the tragic murder of George Floyd (may he RIP), the protests and riots, and still dealing with covid. We had protests in our city too, now we have a curfew. Extremely unsettling. I don't think it was (is) the right time to be trying to connect with new people, we're all on edge. When things calm down, he may circle back. And btw, your response was perfect! Edited June 1, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Author mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2020 Author Posted June 1, 2020 31 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Is this the same guy you posted about last week? Anyway, it's an emotional time right now, with the tragic murder of George Floyd (may he RIP), the protests and riots, and still dealing with covid. We had protests in our city too, now we have a curfew. Extremely unsettling. I don't think it was (is) the right time to be trying to connect with new people, we're all on edge. When things calm down, he may circle back. And btw, your response was perfect! No another.
Miss Spider Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) lol No comment on protests, but I can't date SJW's either. Their high-horse, pedantic, virtual signaling behavior induce a negative physical reaction in me. Edited June 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough 8 1
Ruby Slippers Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 I support the peaceful protests 100%, but these violent riots aren't safe places to be. A man who can't understand and respect that is no big loss 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 4 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: lol No comment on protests, but I can't date SJW's either. Their high-horse, pedantic, virtual signaling behavior induce a negative physical reaction in me. I have the same feelings about the MAGA people who use one misleading, unfounded and flat out inaccurate beliefs to support their own. I have met a few ladies who also have these crazy theories that are just not supported by any credible evidence. Ack. I just smile and try to steer the conversation to something less, controversial. In the end, its about values. Political values are among a host of other values we all consider when selecting our SO. 4
Miss Spider Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) Virtue * SAME. My father is a hardcore trump supporter and it's really hard for me to have a conversation with him sometimes. Those values are very important. This guy did the good thing by ending it as soon as he knew his values were so much different than MO's. honestly, as a self-described 'social justice liberal' he probably got triggered. 15 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: I have the same feelings about the MAGA people who use one misleading, unfounded and flat out inaccurate beliefs to support their own. I have met a few ladies who also have these crazy theories that are just not supported by any credible evidence. Ack. I just smile and try to steer the conversation to something less, controversial. In the end, its about values. Political values are among a host of other values we all consider when selecting our SO. Edited June 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
poppyfields Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) I dunno could there have been a misunderstanding? Is it possible he simply wanted to join the peaceful protests in solidarity for George Floyd? And interpreted your message as a criticism of him wanting to do that? Like some of the posters are doing now? (Sorry guys, no disrespect).. I see no evidence from what you've told us that he was into looting or violence of any kind. Sounds like something may have gotten lost in translation; the written word (even how expressed on this forum) can be quite ambiguous. Edited June 1, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: SAME. My father is a trump supporter and it's really hard for me to have a conversation with him. Those values are very important. This guy did the good thing by ending it as soon as he knew his values were so much different than MO's. honestly he probably got triggered. Oh, I am sure his blood pressure was sky high. I find MAGA supporters to be helpful enough to have the hat on. I actually contacted one some time ago, so it was clear, at least, she wasn't against dating someone outside her own race. But, in the end, her conspiracies were too much. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I dunno could there have been a misunderstanding? Is it possible he simply wanted to join the peaceful protests in solidarity for George Floyd? And interpreted your message as a criticism of him wanting to do that? I see no evidence from what you've told us that he was into looting or violence of any kind. Sounds like something may have gotten lost in translation; the written word (even how expressed on this forum) can be quite ambiguous. Interesting. What and how did he find out you, @cookiesanddough, and he had such divergent political beliefs?
Author mortensorchid Posted June 1, 2020 Author Posted June 1, 2020 I think it's rather foolish myself. Aside from the issues it doesn't matter what side of the fence you're on anymore, they're all obnoxious. But he was a SJW and ... that is about being on a high horse and thinking you are so important and snobby and better than everyone else. And what side of the fence I am on or who I vote for doesn't make me any better than the next guy. With this guy, however, I hope he finds what he's looking for. 1
Ellener Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 Sorry. It's tough to discuss the pandemic or the murders or the US politics with anyone even people on the same emotional and intellectual wavelength, but for dating purposes-not very romantic topics ( but currently hard to avoid ) We need a bit of escapism and fun from OLD conversations...not sure how to make that happen without seeming shallow or uncaring...and attracting shallow and uncaring in response... 1
simpycurious Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 A protest is one thing while an all out riot is something entirely different. What I am seeing on TV is criminal behavior: looting, stealing, destruction of property, etc. Yes, YOU (anyone) has the right to protest but not commit a crime. 2
poppyfields Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 3 minutes ago, Ellener said: Sorry. It's tough to discuss the pandemic or the murders or the US politics with anyone even people on the same emotional and intellectual wavelength, but for dating purposes-not very romantic topics ( but currently hard to avoid ) We need a bit of escapism and fun from OLD conversations...not sure how to make that happen without seeming shallow or uncaring...and attracting shallow and uncaring in response... Totally agree. Today was a very bad and emotional day, and I disagree with what the OP said - that no matter what political platform you represent, they're all "obnoxious." That's a hell of an attitude, perhaps he sensed that from you (or you told him?) and that is why he called if off. There is not one shred of evidence from your post that he is this radical social justice warrior who is on his high horse thinking he's better than everyone, geez. Yeah, I'm sorry too.
Miss Spider Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) As a moderate, I find people wayyyyy too far over on each side of the spectrum to be difficult to agree with as far as values go. It takes a particular black and white, extremist kind of thinking, I have noticed. She never even gave her political stance. As far as this guy knows, she could have felt just as strongly about the reason for the protest, but this guy is so far off the edge, he seriously cannot fathom that she wouldn't want to risk her safety. Pretty apparent what he is by the way he described himself. Edited June 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough
poppyfields Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) cookies, with respect where did you get all that from? I think there's more to it than him simply not understanding why she wouldn't want to risk her safety. Or that he is on his high horse thinking he's better. I read nothing in her post to indicate that. They're assumptions, most likely because she felt rejected. Look within OP, you are the common denominator in all your dating struggles. Sorry Edited June 1, 2020 by poppyfields 3 1
MsJayne Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 So, he cut you off because you react calmly and sensibly to social injustice instead of exploding in outrage and waving a banner in the streets. Did you ask him if he marched in the streets during the #MeToo movement? Or did he stay home that weekend because he doesn't feel that passionate about the bias shown towards women? He sounds like he might be one of those stomach-turning, self-righteous virtue-signallers who always make sure someone's watching when they do a good deed. 1
poppyfields Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 Oh lordy, I gotta leave this thread, so many negative assumptions. Best of luck OP. 4
Miss Spider Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) @poppyfields, with respect, I don't know how you don't see it! She said she has seen whats going on with the looting...she didn't feel comfortable going to the protests for that reason. He said he is a social justice warrior that fights for causes in his community (implying does not) so he didn't see a future. He was not at all understanding of her point of view. Agree to disagree, I suppose. MsJayne, I wouldn't be surprised if he inserted himself into metoo and female feminist discussion circles and calls out the women there for not being radical enough... Edited June 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough 3
poppyfields Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) @ cookies, her post said he labeled himself a "social justice liberal who fights for causes in his community." Not warrior, liberal. Warrior was OP's word and it changes the context entirely! There were peaceful protests throughout the country today in solidarity for George Floyd's tragic and unnecessary murder. And yes sadly some looting which was unfortunate. Which is where he went. Maybe I missed it but I read nothing about him being all the things you and Ms Jayne are accusing him of. I am not saying he isn't those things, I just saw no evidence of it from her posts. And we are only hearing her side, and he rejected her, so.... But we can agree to disagree, I have no problem with that. Differences are part of what makes the world go round. Edited June 1, 2020 by poppyfields 3
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 I think if ideologies, political viewpoints, etc. are significantly different it's good to know it ahead of time. Everyone has his or her dealbreakers. These can be anything and one's basic purpose (he says he fights for social justice) is a lot less shallow than some I've seen. Nothing is lost, you guys didn't have a relationship going. It'll be okay, there are other guys. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 1 hour ago, MsJayne said: So, he cut you off because you react calmly and sensibly to social injustice instead of exploding in outrage and waving a banner in the streets. Did you ask him if he marched in the streets during the #MeToo movement? Or did he stay home that weekend because he doesn't feel that passionate about the bias shown towards women? He sounds like he might be one of those stomach-turning, self-righteous virtue-signallers who always make sure someone's watching when they do a good deed. Maybe explosions of disgust and sarcasm like this one are why this guy didn't bother to even dip his toe in the water. It's not like liberals haven't been seeing, hearing and reading stuff like this for 3.5 years, from the top down, on every platform, every site, everywhere. This guy might have had similar abuse hurled on him before so now he just doesn't bother anymore...who knows. He's probably smart to just move along. 6 3
Miss Spider Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) Hmm Idk I am mod liberal ( lean pretty far left on majority of issues and all social ones. also going to the protests here in Indy)and never felt that way...Howwver I don’t look for things to get offended about and when o meet people I actually try to find similarities and understand their point of view , rather than reject them from the getgo same reason I remove ppl off my Facebook the second I see something like “so I can decide if I delete you” or “delete me if” But different people and all I definitely agree it’s better he dismissed himself Edited June 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Miss Spider Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) Like if mo said she didn’t feel safe , I’d try to understand her instead of paint her with a brush. Maybe she is easily triggered by violence. Maybe she has trauma. Doesn’t mean she isn’t a liberal social crusader that wants to help her community. I would suggest one of the other many ways she can help the movement .. donating to medical and bail funds, , picking up people in hot zones etc . I mean if this was really about that, and I don’t think it is for a second that it is Edited June 1, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
basil67 Posted June 1, 2020 Posted June 1, 2020 (edited) There's another bit of this which nobody seems to have picked up on - MO's immediate response to what he'd been doing: She immediately started talking about herself and her feelings and shut down his dialogue. She didn't ask what he saw there. What it felt like. No questions about the experience. Even if she didn't like the movement, there's a whole conversation which could have come out of it. But noooo...she made it about herself. Poor conversational skills are as likely to be a deal breaker as opposing views. Edited June 1, 2020 by basil67 7
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