poppyfields Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, miranda561 said: Oh man! Why is dating so hard . I blame OLD, which encourages GIGS (grass is greener syndrome). It's out of control and "commitment phobia" has become more prevalent than ever. Sad really and makes things difficult for those folks seeking a true connection and a long term committed relationship. Edited June 7, 2020 by poppyfields 1
miranda561 Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: I blame OLD, which encourages GIGS (grass is greener syndrome). It's out of control and "commitment phobia" has become more prevalent than ever. Sad really for those folks truly seeking a connection and a long term committed relationship. So true ! With OLD. .. theres a new person at every swipe. But then i can't talk i guess with my habits! previous guy was so hot and cold (narcissist) that when i come across someone who genuinely wants more commitment from me i just don't even know how to act or wasnt used to keeping in touch more often than every few weeks. Because alll i ever knew was hot n cold from the previous guy...and i guess i was like that myself!
Author Glx Posted June 7, 2020 Author Posted June 7, 2020 5 hours ago, miranda561 said: I think leaving on a second date is wrong. He shouldn't have done that or at least found another day when he could meet you and stay! But i think if he really didn't like you..he wouldnt ask you out again!. However he is probably immature and hasnt learnt proper etiquette or how to treat a woman properly. So its really upto you. if you're curious..you could meet him for another date and see. Well, what's done is done. I can't take my words back that I am busy next week (even if I want)
miranda561 Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 4 minutes ago, Glx said: Well, what's done is done. I can't take my words back that I am busy next week (even if I want) You could ask him to meet.week after
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 4 hours ago, poppyfields said: I hardly think Gix is expecting total devotion. Just a guy who is interested and makes an effort would be nice. After ditching her on their second date after only 45 min because of alleged other plans that he neglected to tell her about prior to, the "text" he sent her was an emoji. That's it. No apologies for having to suddenly run out on our date, let me make it up to you by taking you to dinner (or something similar), he sent a friggin emoji. Then waits five days and asks her to dinner "if she wants to go." Please. Guy is lukewarm, if that. Or wants to keep her on rotation and do the bare minimum, very bare. Yes it's early stages which is the time to be choosy and choose wisely. Choose wisely now and avoid BS and possible broken heart later. To me, HE is the one who shot himself in the foot, assuming he does like her Wow, nailed it. ^ 1
Gaeta Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 (edited) Glx: Dismiss him if you wish, I am not saying he's the dater of the year but if you drop every man crossing your path because they don't phrase invitations the way you like it, because a smile to you isn't a communication, because you don't beleive unexpected events may happen to your dates, .....then you might as well date yourself, it's the only way you'll never be disappointed. Edited June 7, 2020 by Gaeta
poppyfields Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 (edited) Gix, I see you're getting some conflicting advice. That's good, you can weigh the pros and cons of each and then do what feels best for you. I would like to add though that unexpected events do happen, and it's ok to be understanding of that. However in your case, the event that suddenly pulled him away after only 45 minutes (had plans to meet a foreign female friend and didn't want to disappoint), sounds like these were pre-made plans, not unexpected. So common courtesy would dictate he either reschedule your date or let you know prior to the date. The fact he did not suggests something shady, at least imo and the fact he waited five days to reach out again, well let's just say I have higher standards for myself, and would give this man a pass. Not all men who have unexpected events pop up, but this man. The emoji imo was lame. If the prior two things hadn't gone down the way they did, the way he worded the dinner invite would not have been an issue. It was everything combined that causes me to question how interested he is (if at all) but if YOU feel ok about seeing him again and playing it out, that's fine too! You are the one dating him, not any of us. Like miranda said, you never know. Edited June 7, 2020 by poppyfields 4 1
Miss Spider Posted June 7, 2020 Posted June 7, 2020 11 hours ago, Realitysux said: I don't think that's the case at all. I don't know anyone including myself who isn't ready to receive love. I also read a lot of your posts about bpd and even though I am not bpd, I know a lot about it and there is no medications. Love is a bit different then dating and most men try to find someone that feels right. They are looking for that one person that feels right to them. I have nothing but connections with men and in the mean time they keep occupied with women. The feeling between these two was not right and was not mutual or the same connection. They just weren't on the same page. I also know this guy who sleeps around. He's a pretty and big guy. He is with this women who wants a relationship with him but he won't do it because they had a threesome early on. Men need to see their girlfriends in a certain light. I am around men constantly so I have a lot of knowledge as to what they are looking for. Hi realitysux. At the end of the day what you say is right, but I was just putting another perspective/possibility to it. I agree with you that we should give all people love or affections, but some people might reject it and that is okay. . “Not ready” was just my way of saying that maybe he in the future he might have been. Maybe he is dealing with some stuff like rebounding etc. Maybe he just hasn’t fully matured (for example he is still playing the field) because he walks out on dates in the middle like that and asks them out again in a lukewarm way. Just for example, there are people I was not interested in in the past, but if I met them today with who I am now, I might be and our relationship may have gone completely different. Sorry if anything I said was misinterpreted or offended anyone. Not my intent
Recommended Posts