Glx Posted May 30, 2020 Posted May 30, 2020 (edited) Hello everyone, so I met one guy online (both 24 years old) and we met for the second time. First time we went for a walk in a park, and second time he asked me out for some drinks. We went to a bar, the conversation was nice, but then after approximately 45 min he said that unfortunately he can't stay long today. One of his foreign female friends came to visit our city today with her parents, and he wouldn't want to cancel on them. As far as I understood, it happened quite spontaneously (but I might be wrong about that) He then said that "but next time we can definitely go to one of the restaurants we have been discussing" (earlier we were talking about restaurants with good cuisine). I said "of course, no problem". Do you think this is a good reason to leave a date, or did he just flake on me? Edited May 30, 2020 by Glx 1
smackie9 Posted May 30, 2020 Posted May 30, 2020 You will only know if he does or doesn't ask you out again. Hopefully it wasn't his GF messaging him. 4
Miss Spider Posted May 30, 2020 Posted May 30, 2020 (edited) I don't know. That sounds odd to me. If the story were true, I feel like he would have told you at the beginning of the date at the very least. If a guy cut our date short or left before I did, I would NOT be inclined to go on another date with him... Edited May 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough 7 1
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2020 Posted May 30, 2020 He could have just ghosted you & you would have been none the wiser. I'd be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt this time. If he calls you again, it was legit. If you never hear from him again, it's over. If he runs out on you again for a similar reason he may have lousy scheduling skills, poor manners or is just taking you for granted. There is no reason to panic yet. 3
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 9 hours ago, Glx said: Hello everyone, so I met one guy online (both 24 years old) and we met for the second time. First time we went for a walk in a park, and second time he asked me out for some drinks. We went to a bar, the conversation was nice, but then after approximately 45 min he said that unfortunately he can't stay long today. One of his foreign female friends came to visit our city today with her parents, and he wouldn't want to cancel on them. As far as I understood, it happened quite spontaneously (but I might be wrong about that) He then said that "but next time we can definitely go to one of the restaurants we have been discussing" (earlier we were talking about restaurants with good cuisine). I said "of course, no problem". Do you think this is a good reason to leave a date, or did he just flake on me? He said 'cancel' on them. SO, he had already planned to meet them, but didn't tell you. I mean, if you know that you are meeting a friend, why not put that out there before the date so that there is no inconvenience? He used the word cancel. This is either something he had planned or it was something that he agreed upon very quickly and wanted you to believe it was something planned? 6
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 17 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: He said 'cancel' on them. SO, he had already planned to meet them, but didn't tell you. I mean, if you know that you are meeting a friend, why not put that out there before the date so that there is no inconvenience? He used the word cancel. This is either something he had planned or it was something that he agreed upon very quickly and wanted you to believe it was something planned? This stood out for me too. It sounds like he just wasn't feeling it, TBH. It does sound like an excuse. What were you guys talking about just before? Were you feeling much in the way of sparks, or no? 8
Erik30 Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 12 hours ago, Glx said: One of his foreign female friends came to visit our city today with her parents, and he wouldn't want to cancel on them. As far as I understood, it happened quite spontaneously (but I might be wrong about that) A foreign friend visiting him now during the pandemic? I don't know, it kind of sounds like that lame exit strategy when someone suddenly gets an "emergency call" during the date... Even if it is the truth, I wouldn't cut a date short for that... if I really liked the girl... or maybe he's just someone who can't say no to people 2 1
Author Glx Posted May 31, 2020 Author Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: This stood out for me too. It sounds like he just wasn't feeling it, TBH. It does sound like an excuse. What were you guys talking about just before? Were you feeling much in the way of sparks, or no? the conversation went very well, we talked about everything, about the events in our lives that happened since the last meeting. but of course he could be just polite all this time Edited May 31, 2020 by Glx
ExpatInItaly Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 I would normally be inclined to extend the benefit of the doubt, but I don't think this is one of those times. As the others have pointed out, it seems unlikely that he wouldn't have mentioned it up-front if he knew he would have to duck out early. This doesn't appear to be a spontaneous visit from his foreign if he'd had to cancel on them (which suggests pre-arranged plans) and they somehow managed to visit from another country when non-essential travel around the world has essentially ground to a halt. I'm sorry OP, but I wouldn't hold my breath for this one. 2
Amanda141 Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 It seems odd, because if he knew he had another meeting he should have told you at the very beginning of your date. Anyway, did he reach out then? Are you still talking now? Hope he was genuinely telling the truth 1
Amanda141 Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Plus, I don't know where you're from, but I find it very unlikely that during a pandemic he had foreign friends to visit... 1
Author Glx Posted May 31, 2020 Author Posted May 31, 2020 1 hour ago, amanda141 said: It seems odd, because if he knew he had another meeting he should have told you at the very beginning of your date. Anyway, did he reach out then? Are you still talking now? Hope he was genuinely telling the truth so far he has not written to me. it happened yesterday, so only one day has passed. He doesn’t write very often anyways, one-two messages every two days. We hardly texted between dates, but the initiative always came from him. I live in Europe, and our borders are already open. My friends already travel to neighboring countries without problems 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 15 minutes ago, Glx said: I live in Europe, and our borders are already open. My friends already travel to neighboring countries without problems I'm in Europe too, and some borders are definitely not yet open - not without a mandatory quarantine period. I am gathering you're in a different region with looser restrictions, though. Fair enough, as I realize the policies vary from country to country. Does this foreign friend come from one of those countries with lax restrictions, did he say? In any case, I still find it odd that he didn't mention this ahead of time. Did he take a call or get a message from this person during your date? 2
schlumpy Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 I think at this stage of the love game your ego can afford to take a chance that everything is Kosher.
Amanda141 Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 I really hope he was telling the truth! Let us know if you have updates and good luck 1
miranda561 Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) 10 hours ago, amanda141 said: It seems odd, because if he knew he had another meeting he should have told you at the very beginning of your date. Anyway, did he reach out then? Are you still talking now? Hope he was genuinely telling the truth Some people just lack courtesy. The answer will be in his future movements though Edited May 31, 2020 by miranda561
Spainglish Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Why would he ask you out for drinks if he already had plans? If you're truly interested in someone you're going to set up a date/time that is free . The whole thing seems off to me. Let's just say he is truly interested and he just chose not to tell you about his plan to skip out early. Then, he's basically just a rude dude who isn't very considerate of your time. I foresee more of this type of behavior in the future. Maybe you should pray he skipped out. 5
Author Glx Posted May 31, 2020 Author Posted May 31, 2020 I went to an art exhibition today and posted a picture from there. He sent me a joyful emoticon as a reaction to the photo. Just one emoticon, without any words
Amanda141 Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 10 minutes ago, Glx said: I went to an art exhibition today and posted a picture from there. He sent me a joyful emoticon as a reaction to the photo. Just one emoticon, without any words Very weird... did you reply?
Author Glx Posted May 31, 2020 Author Posted May 31, 2020 15 minutes ago, amanda141 said: Very weird... did you reply? no, I will not reply to this
Amanda141 Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Good. If he wants to see you again, he will reach out. If not, thank you next! You didnt lose anything 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 41 minutes ago, Glx said: I went to an art exhibition today and posted a picture from there. He sent me a joyful emoticon as a reaction to the photo. Just one emoticon, without any words Perhaps that is all he had time to do while "occupied" with his friend and family.
poppyfields Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned, but if it was not an excuse to leave, and he is into you and interested in seeing you again, after suddenly ditching you the way he did, I would think he'd be bending over backwards, texting you, scheduling another date. At most he's just meh.. If me, I would let this one go, wouldn't give it a second thought. Edited May 31, 2020 by poppyfields 6
Miss Spider Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) Exactly, pops. This whole thing is really off. Even if his excuse was legit. He ditched your date and didn’t make a follow up immediately. He should be off your radar. I’ve left early but if I was interested in the guy, I made SURE it was in no way ambiguous that I wanted to see him again. He didn’t. boy bye Edited May 31, 2020 by Cookiesandough 4 1
poppyfields Posted May 31, 2020 Posted May 31, 2020 LoL @ boy bye You crack me up cookies, and I mean that in a good way. It's fun having you here! 1
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