Johnny2x4 Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 So, I was used and emotionally abused by a girl who kind of guilt tripped me into a relationship I wasn’t ready for. She dumped me, because of drama. if someone uses me in a relationship To get back at their ex or forget about them. Does that mean I wasn’t good enough? Like could it have been healthier if they were over their ex?
Fox Sake Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Johnny2x4 said: So, I was used and emotionally abused by a girl who kind of guilt tripped me into a relationship I wasn’t ready for. She dumped me, because of drama. if someone uses me in a relationship To get back at their ex or forget about them. Does that mean I wasn’t good enough? Like could it have been healthier if they were over their ex? You got this backwards mate. You were good enough. She was not good enough for you. of course that’s the short answer , but without knowing what dramas were involved and who was at fault, it’s hard to say. Given the fact you asked about getting back at an ex, sounds like she jumped into something with you and used you to make herself feel better. lesson? Avoid getting in relationships with serial daters and those who don’t take the time to themselves after exiting a relationship, and just jump into another one Edited May 29, 2020 by Fox Sake 1
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 No, it means you should have told yourself "this doesn't feel right I'm out."
schlumpy Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 This is one of those critical learning moments from the dating school of hard knocks.
Poutrew Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 Sounds to me like this was a relationship that never should have been.... Next time you think a girl is sizing you up for something you want no part of, you need to shut it down real fast. For example, if she is keeping her eye on you, you need to engage in some type of subtle behavior that she will reject you over. For example, subtly picking your nose and wiping it on your shirt while you are pretending to NOT notice her eying you. I guarantee if you did this on the first day, she would have disappeared, saving you tons of grief.
Redhead14 Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 Johnny, there isn't anything wrong with you. I also don't think you should demonize her. She's young. She may have thought she was over the other guy and ready to move on but was wrong. She's young and still learning to navigate the trappings of dating and having relationships, etc. You can't know for sure that her true motive was to use you necessarily. She just may not have known better. Try not to demonize her because that will carry over with you for future dating opportunities (i.e. baggage). But, it's not a good idea to date anyone who is recently out of a relationship. Their emotions are still raw and they aren't really clear-minded and past the hurt and/or desire to get back with them. It takes time.
BaileyB Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 8 hours ago, Johnny2x4 said: So, I was used and emotionally abused by a girl who kind of guilt tripped me into a relationship I wasn’t ready for. Nobody should be able to guilt trip you into a relationship. You chose who you date, so you need to learn to stand up for yourself better. Quote if someone uses me in a relationship To get back at their ex or forget about them. Does that mean I wasn’t good enough? No, that’s not what it means at all. It means that person treated you badly, it has nothing to do with your value or worth as a person. Quote Like could it have been healthier if they were over their ex? Possibly. This is why it’s never a good idea to date someone who is not done with their past relationship. But, it’s also possible that she is not a very nice person and that any relationship she has will not be healthy. Nice people who seek healthy relationships don’t use other people this way.
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