Yosemite Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 3 hours ago, Fox Sake said: Without going into too much detail, it really was quite an innocent message. She asked me what kind of music I make in my spare time so went into that a little, and I asked how long she had been single, and stated my 4 years, but only cos I didn’t wanna settle for the sake of settling. I was maybe too honest and open. Agreed about a few nice places to visit and also commented on some other Mutual friends that neither of us see anymore. The literal last message you sent at 1 AM said all of that? That's a lot for one message especially at 1 AM. Also, asking how long someone's been single before you've been on a date? Idk...maybe not the best choice. 16 hours ago, Fox Sake said: But the way she told me to tell her to shut up and basically mind her own business was odd. this whole thing is odd lol Sounds like a self‐deprecating joke, what makes you think that it's odd? 1 hour ago, Fox Sake said: Sooooo.... I did fire out a friendly “hey how are ya!!” with an admission of maybe keeping my messages shorter... literally a sentence, just in case , as was pointed out, that they were too long and she didn’t want that. Did you actually say to her that your messages were too long and that you'll be keeping them shorter? I would just send shorter messages...going from paragraph long messages to one sentence messages makes it look like you're not being your natural self. Like you're twisting and turning in the wind trying to be whatever she wants you to be. .
Author Fox Sake Posted May 29, 2020 Author Posted May 29, 2020 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Yosemite said: The literal last message you sent at 1 AM said all of that? That's a lot for one message especially at 1 AM. Also, asking how long someone's been single before you've been on a date? Idk...maybe not the best choice. Sounds like a self‐deprecating joke, what makes you think that it's odd? Did you actually say to her that your messages were too long and that you'll be keeping them shorter? I would just send shorter messages...going from paragraph long messages to one sentence messages makes it look like you're not being your natural self. Like you're twisting and turning in the wind trying to be whatever she wants you to be. . The messages were getting longer on both parts. There wasn’t any sign of “I’m tired now” , the convo was just kind of flowing. Didn’t even realise the time until the convo stopped. it’s important to me how long someone’s been single for. And I don’t see that as a weird question. If someone’s just come out of something, then I’m really not interested and can gently back away. If they’ve been single for some time , then I know they have some self worth and aren’t serial relationshipers. But yeah maybe not the best choice of conversation. Or maybe just not that compatible. I miss that spark and chemistry you get when you meet someone amazing and you both click. I wanted it to be there but I just don’t think it is. Sigh. Gets lonely sometimes. I’m happy alone but I wouldn’t mind sharing some laughs and adventures with someone I actually want to be spend time with. lastly - I’m definitely not twisting and turning and I wouldn’t change myself for anyone. I am who I am, I like who I am, and I have a lot offer the right person. Saying “hey how are you?! maybe I should keep my messages shorter next time xx” I didn’t think was too much. More taking the piss out of myself and looking for some feedback, than anything else, but clearly I tripped myself up somewhere in the conversation. I can see how it would look like I wasn’t being me with just a single sentence, but I wasn’t gonna type out another paragraph when she didn’t bother replying to the last one. That would just have looked desperate. After writing this thread I’m starting to realise this is not the girl for me. Feels like a sad admission lol. I look back at my successful and most enjoyable relationships, and conversation has been really easy between both of us from the get go. I need to move away from where I am. I moved back to my home 8 years ago, It’s far too small a city and everyone knows who I am or knows someone who knows me. Edited May 29, 2020 by Fox Sake Dyslexic phone 1
Author Fox Sake Posted May 31, 2020 Author Posted May 31, 2020 Oh boy did it blow up I’m a bullet dodger. Okay.... Small update for anyone who cares and this is gold right here so listen up, you couldn’t make this s*** up. I’ve been dying to get this off my chest anyways, for a few years. Cruising through Facebook news feed today, and I see a post from the girl I was talking to that made me want to start this thread. I had already decided by the end of it she clearly wasn’t for me but no point in deleting people just for the sake of it. Well today I deleted her ass ASAP after I saw one of the friends she had tagged about going on a holiday with again. So 2 years ago, I had some very close friends. We all used to go off-roading together in our trucks and take part in Off road competitions. Great little group of friends. One of their gf’s was super shy, and the bf asked if I could PT her (my previous career but I still like the gym and still train people every now and again) so I said yeah no problem, gave her mates rates cos me and her and bf were good friends. Might I add that me and this girl never spoke. She was that shy. She sat in his passenger seat all the time and barely even made eye contact with me ever. It wasn’t a big deal. She was my friends girlfriend. 2 sessions in she starts being really out of line and flirting with me to the point it was bloody obvious. I felt awkward but tried to remain professional. The more sessions that go on, the more she starts telling me all this stuff about how she isn’t happy with her man and fell out of love with him a year ago etc etc. Told me she had always fancied me bla bla bla. Obviously I said this isn’t gonna wash and tried counselling her, thought I made it obvious that things don’t work that way and if she wanted anything to happen with ANYONE she couldn’t just jump from relationship to relationship. awkward right? I should probably have packed in the training there and then. Well not as awkward as what followed. 9 weeks of PT sessions later , she literally broke up with her BF and then used MY NAME as her excuse for doing so. Told her bf she wanted to sleep with me I subsequently lost my group of friends cos they assumed I was in on it. I wasn’t. I was still missing my ex too much for a start, and who would even steal someone’s partner anyways?! This is girl is extremely manipulating and a very good liar. So who knows what all was said, I don’t think I ever will but none of the mutual friends had any time for me anymore so I know whatever was said was downright shambolic. I dealt with it in the mindset that if we were that good friends, they would have come to me for my side of the story, and karma would take care of it. So this girl gets her way, breaks up with her bf and then totally blocks me from any social media platforms along with a few of the mutual friends, who didn’t even bother asking my side first. I was shocked - I’m a good person and I’m very honest and open with people. Boy did I feel like a mug, and used and down in the dumps cos I just lost my group of friends I saw every weekend and for what? Absolutely nothing gained apart from some extra pocket money. 2. 5 years later and we still had zero contact , not even friends and blocked each other. It was easy after the way things went so I ran with the fact I was blocked and put it down to her feeling so guilty she couldn’t hack it. I don’t want anything to do with anyone that poisoned and devious. She dragged my name through the mud at the time , and as much as I would have liked an admission of behaviour and an apology , I got the opposite. A part of me wishes that everyone knew exactly what happened cos it’s never sat right with me since. I could not believe this girl I posted about was that good friends with her, holidays together and all sorts. Whether it explains a lot , I don’t know. Probably. But - Delete delete delete has been the way of the day. I’m now gonna have to fill in the the mutual friend that set this whole date up in the first place, it’ll be good to get this off my chest to someone cos it’s bugged me for years now. I’m probably gonna reach out to the friends I used to go off-roading with too and ask them if they have any time to chat about it. What a mental week 1
Miss Spider Posted June 2, 2020 Posted June 2, 2020 Wow foxy ...you done dodged a bullet indeedy Birds of a feather... & I had a similar thing happen to me when I broke up with my bf. He tried to paint me badly. But you are right. TRUE friends would never take the side of a liar. I knew you could do better anyway! 1
Author Fox Sake Posted June 2, 2020 Author Posted June 2, 2020 1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said: Wow foxy ...you done dodged a bullet indeedy Birds of a feather... & I had a similar thing happen to me when I broke up with my bf. He tried to paint me badly. But you are right. TRUE friends would never take the side of a liar. I knew you could do better anyway! Aww @Cookiesandough, thank you. I wasn’t expecting anyone to reply to this dazed rant/confession of mine. Was sure it was off to the the dump somewhere! I’ve been enjoying helping other people here in the meantime. It’s helped me and reminded me who I am and what I stand for. Birds of a feather ... Funny you say that. I thought the same before now. The good thing about paint is it washes off, but there’s sometimes a stain left for a while On the skin. The bad thing about a porcelain toilet is that paint doesn’t stick to it that much and it spreads s**t 1
preraph Posted June 3, 2020 Posted June 3, 2020 If I was you, I'd go on FB and post the whole story since no one bothered to ask. See if anyone starts feeling contrite. What a little jerk she was. When women are bad, they're REAL bad. 1
Author Fox Sake Posted June 3, 2020 Author Posted June 3, 2020 (edited) 24 minutes ago, preraph said: If I was you, I'd go on FB and post the whole story since no one bothered to ask. See if anyone starts feeling contrite. What a little jerk she was. When women are bad, they're REAL bad. Pleeeasee don’t waste your time with this any more guys. There are people that need your time more than me for this. seeing as you are asking tho- I fb messaged the friends I lost, like I said I would. They live somewhere else now. I actually had a great and very long chat about things. We all got played off against each other. The truth is out there now and the lies have become apparent. Unfortunately I can’t post to fb about it. I’m not that kind of guy, my fb is very quiet, I have a very unique real name which has led me to try and keep myself quite private On fb about posting anything. I’ve spent my life moving all over the world since I was kid for work or with my family when I was younger. Always returning back home to Scotland at some point. So I never really made lifelong friends anywhere, I also went through 11 schools. . I owe it to bullying in school mostly. Made me act up young. . I’m quite a private person and I think People here know The real me better than anywhere else... which is unfortunate. I don’t think I’m normal. I have crazy intuition and I’m an old soul. Need to find those similar people. But I turned out okay hahaha I don’t plan on staying where I am. It’s too small and it’s full of people who don’t think like me and are nothing like me. It’s probably why I haven’t really had much of a life for the last few years. I’ve been bored and flogging a dead horse for company Edited June 3, 2020 by Fox Sake 2
preraph Posted June 3, 2020 Posted June 3, 2020 Sometimes you have to keep moving around to find your niche. will you seem perfectly normal to us here at Love Shack so stick around all you want. 2
Miss Spider Posted June 3, 2020 Posted June 3, 2020 Foxy,.. honestly... you’re one of my favorite members here Your posts always make me laugh/are so helpful. Your queries are just as valid as anyone else’s’ and I can relate to all that you’ve said about bullying a Nd such ... low key social media... etc. It is a struggle, but you only really havre to find ONE good one. (Unless you want a harem, no judge haha) anyways, we love you here!!! 1 1
Author Fox Sake Posted June 3, 2020 Author Posted June 3, 2020 (edited) 32 minutes ago, preraph said: Sometimes you have to keep moving around to find your niche. will you seem perfectly normal to us here at Love Shack so stick around all you want. thank you so much! Some of the best people I have ever had the pleasure of talking with, have been from this site. No friend has ever been as supportive or understanding as I find those to be who have come here. I feel like some people here actually get me. Like can see past everything for just who I am. 27 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Foxy,.. honestly... you’re one of my favorite members here Your posts always make me laugh/are so helpful. Your queries are just as valid as anyone else’s’ and I can relate to all that you’ve said about bullying a Nd such ... low key social media... etc. It is a struggle, but you only really havre to find ONE good one. (Unless you want a harem, no judge haha) anyways, we love you here!!! You’re humbling me! Thank you so much Cookies. It feels quite Ying and Yang...I didn’t mean to add all my extra mental crap into this thread , but I’ve had so much love and advice that I’m glad I did. You’re very sweet! No Harem Here , I have fans , but I don’t ever want anyone to think I’m a player (which can be challenging if people judge your looks and equate it to their made up life experience, or your model McShag-Everything younger brother) I’m careful about how I conduct myself and how I act. Ever since I was here 10+ years ago, I’ve started to Value myself more. I don’t mean that in an egotistical way , I just mean value as in the sense of self worth and the kind of people I deserve to be around. I have a lot to give the right person, but it has to be he right one. Edited June 3, 2020 by Fox Sake 2
manfrombelow Posted June 3, 2020 Posted June 3, 2020 I just comment here to praise the OP for his creative nickname. 2
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