Fox Sake Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 So if you’re interested in someone , do you just leave the conversation hanging? Day 1 mutual friend decides to FaceTime her friend to set me up on a blind date. This was out of the blue and I kept saying no cos I had literally just finished doing work there outside and felt a mess. Conversation goes surprisingly well as we blether away on FaceTime. She seemed receptive and interested. She did ask me what I did for a living tho and the first thing she said when I told her was “you must get really good money for that” ... I wasn’t sure whether to take that as a warning or not. She does own her own house and car so maybe checking if I’m “secure”? A short moment after the call I get a friend request. Couple of messages and no reply to the second one. Day 2 the mutual friend calls me and says she wants to throw a bbq and and invite us both over once lockdown is over. I said I didn’t think she was that interested , but good effort cos’ I was definitely somewhat intrigued. (It’s hard to find a girl who doesn’t mind getting high but also likes the gym!) The friend assured me she was interested and I just had to text her for now as she doesn’t have a huge amount of confidence (you wouldn’t believe it looking at her profile) , apparently she dated some rough and abusive guys, my polar opposite which does worry me that I won’t pose enough of a challenge either. I’ll tease and have a laugh but that’s as far as it goes. Okay I thought, I’ll try one more message. She messages back shortly after saying she is getting Fast food , and we had a sporadic conversation through messenger for the rest of the afternoon and evening, messages getting more lengthy between us. Told her I loved her laugh - that it was cute , and one thing that really stood out in the first conversation on the phone. Which made her warm to me even more as I suddenly received much warmer message endings And she seemed a little more relaxed. Conversation goes on for a Another hour of messages until 1am , then BAM . Radio silence again and left my last message hanging after reading. Day 3 - No reply to it today either , 24 hours later and I don’t think I can bring myself to message her again to follow up without looking desperate or too eager. Which I’m not. I’m single 4 years for my own benefit. I can’t find anyone I really Want to be with, and I’m not gonna get in a relationship just to fill time and my needs when those things can be done without one. I did get a good vibe from her tho. I’m of the opinion that if two people like each other then they keep in touch and keep conversation going or make an effort to reply. Hence my thinking she’s just not that interested. Normally I would call people out on that Sh** immediately without any care what direction the the outcome went, but this time I’m questioning myself that maybe I’m rushing things a bit and expecting more of someone than I should? I guess I expect a mutual attraction to go a certain way. And then I question if I just like her because she fits what I’m looking for, which has been incredibly difficult to find, especially where I live? I think I already know after writing this out what the reply’s will be like , but it’s always good to have a second opinion. It’s easy to give advice to others but it can be hard taking perspective of our own situations sometimes. Thanks for taking the time to read. All verbal abuse and direction welcomed 1 1
Miss Spider Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 Absolutely not... if I’m interested in a man, he’s the first person I’m messaging back and I’m going to make sure it’s the most perfect message you’ve ever seen in your life... 1 1
basil67 Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 I love your nickname! I keep saying in my head with a Scottish accent. Anyway, I'd be wary of a woman who has a background of making such poor choices in men. Sure, we all make mistakes from time to time, but to end up with bad guys repeatedly doesn't reflect well on her self. 1
preraph Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 Texting can't just go on forever. 1 in the morning and you're mad because she stopped texting and went to sleep? Texting all day has got to get old. Take things in moderation. Don't try to text someone all afternoon and into the night. You won't have one thing to talk about once you do get together if you keep that up. She's someone interested or she wouldn't have hang in there as long as she did but not too many people want to just keep that going all day or have time for it. 1
Author Fox Sake Posted May 28, 2020 Author Posted May 28, 2020 5 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Absolutely not... if I’m interested in a man, he’s the first person I’m messaging back and I’m going to make sure it’s the most perfect message you’ve ever seen in your life... Mmm that’s what I thought right?! 1
Miss Spider Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 (edited) Also you have to consider she could be the type to play games Edited May 28, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Author Fox Sake Posted May 28, 2020 Author Posted May 28, 2020 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: I love your nickname! I keep saying in my head with a Scottish accent. Anyway, I'd be wary of a woman who has a background of making such poor choices in men. Sure, we all make mistakes from time to time, but to end up with bad guys repeatedly doesn't reflect well on her self. Haha thank you! I’m definitely wary, but where I live is full of absolute ar*e holes anyways so it’s hard to avoid those poor choices for many women. 1
Author Fox Sake Posted May 28, 2020 Author Posted May 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, preraph said: Texting can't just go on forever. 1 in the morning and you're mad because she stopped texting and went to sleep? Texting all day has got to get old. Take things in moderation. Don't try to text someone all afternoon and into the night. You won't have one thing to talk about once you do get together if you keep that up. She's someone interested or she wouldn't have hang in there as long as she did but not too many people want to just keep that going all day or have time for it. I couldn’t agree more it can’t go on forever. But to just leave the message hanging and not bother with a reply (no one is that busy here , we are still in lockdown) is a little bit odd to me. I take it as rejection lol 2
preraph Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 Maybe she literally fell asleep because it went on so late. Maybe she tried to say goodnight or let it die down but it didn't work
Author Fox Sake Posted May 28, 2020 Author Posted May 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Also you have to consider she could be the type to play games I’ve been assured she isn’t that type. There was a point in a message where she said “how did you get that scar if you don’t mind me asking? You dont have to tell me “ Followed by “just tell me to shut up and it’s none of my business if you like” Naturally, I told her it was an alligator, then followed with the real story. But the way she told me to tell her to shut up and basically mind her own business was odd. this whole thing is odd lol 1
Author Fox Sake Posted May 28, 2020 Author Posted May 28, 2020 5 minutes ago, preraph said: Maybe she literally fell asleep because it went on so late. Maybe she tried to say goodnight or let it die down but it didn't work Maybe , but if I’m into someone I wouldn’t leave it more than 24 hours to reply. Maybe I’m just being impatient tho and jumping the gun cos she seems different, which excites me. Maybe I asked her an uncomfortable question about being single. Maybe I’ll just message her tomorrow and make sure I didn’t make her uncomfortable? But that kinda makes me look weak? 1
Miss Spider Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 (edited) Well your username is fox sake... if she’s sleeping or you literally on figuratively... I guarantee it’s her loss... Edited May 28, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Author Fox Sake Posted May 29, 2020 Author Posted May 29, 2020 12 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Well your username is fox sake... if she’s sleeping or you literally on figuratively... I guarantee it’s her loss... Thank you !!! Damn I need that confidence back again where I feel like that haha i left here with it 11 years ago. Must have dropped it along the way as life was kicking me in the balls
preraph Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 24 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: Maybe , but if I’m into someone I wouldn’t leave it more than 24 hours to reply. Maybe I’m just being impatient tho and jumping the gun cos she seems different, which excites me. Maybe I asked her an uncomfortable question about being single. Maybe I’ll just message her tomorrow and make sure I didn’t make her uncomfortable? But that kinda makes me look weak? Tomorrow keep it short and don't try to prolong a chat. There are people of all types where texting and chatting is concerned, but someone who wasn't that crazy about prolong chats Mike Will deal with it by just going longer in between so they don't get tied up too often. Not saying that's the reason but it's one possibility. Moderation. 2
Miss Spider Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 22 minutes ago, Fox Sake said: Thank you !!! Damn I need that confidence back again where I feel like that haha i left here with it 11 years ago. Must have dropped it along the way as life was kicking me in the balls Hahah yeah... I feel you.., sadly, that can happen. I hope you realize what a catch you are, fox sake...she only needs the opportunity to see all you have to offer. I hope she wakes up before it’s too late and you’re snatched up by another lucky girl. I got my fingers crossed! 2
mark clemson Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 1 hour ago, basil67 said: I love your nickname! I keep saying in my head with a Scottish accent. 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: Ditto love the nAme too! Indeed, a mammal of the family Canidae and a traditional Japanese drink. What's not to like! 2
Author Fox Sake Posted May 29, 2020 Author Posted May 29, 2020 (edited) Oh my what good people you all are! Thank you. I’ll post an update when things either kick off or blow up haha Edited May 29, 2020 by Fox Sake Grammar 1
simpycurious Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 2 hours ago, Fox Sake said: Oh my what good people you all are! Thank you. I’ll post an update when things either kick off or blow up haha Fox, let's avoid the BLOW UP's if at all possible...................
Author Fox Sake Posted May 29, 2020 Author Posted May 29, 2020 (edited) 20 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: What did your last message to her say, OP? Without going into too much detail, it really was quite an innocent message. She asked me what kind of music I make in my spare time so went into that a little, and I asked how long she had been single, and stated my 4 years, but only cos I didn’t wanna settle for the sake of settling. I was maybe too honest and open. Agreed about a few nice places to visit and also commented on some other Mutual friends that neither of us see anymore. funnily enough the mutual friend who tried to set us up did say at one point that “You might actually be wasted on this girl” and you know what ? Maybe she’s right otherwise why would I be here posting?! Edited May 29, 2020 by Fox Sake Grammar 1
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 Why would she be investing hard when she hardly knows you,.... you have never met. She's interested in meeting you...until then she's not going to get too heavy on this. Be kool and a little aloof yourself. Just make sure you look smashing when you two finally get together and blow her away 1
Author Fox Sake Posted May 29, 2020 Author Posted May 29, 2020 Sooooo.... I did fire out a friendly “hey how are ya!!” with an admission of maybe keeping my messages shorter... literally a sentence, just in case , as was pointed out, that they were too long and she didn’t want that. Message read. Ghosted. I’m not used to this at all. I have plenty of people I talk to or that want to meet up, (I’m not that interested tho) so why is this annoying me so much?! I feel like there’s more going on than I know about, so maybe I should do some digging today with the mutual friend. I have a funny feeling she has just come out of a relationship which , if that’s the case, not only writes off anything happening but explains the behaviour 1
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2020 Posted May 29, 2020 I would just back off and leave the ball in her court. To me she sounds unsure of herself, and yes maybe she's a little too emotionally unavailable due to a recent breakup. 1
Author Fox Sake Posted May 29, 2020 Author Posted May 29, 2020 (edited) 13 minutes ago, smackie9 said: I would just back off and leave the ball in her court. To me she sounds unsure of herself, and yes maybe she's a little too emotionally unavailable due to a recent breakup. I’ve already reached out more than I would have liked to, that’s not me and actually left me feeling uncomfortable. So you’re totally spot on with that statement and I will do just that Edited May 29, 2020 by Fox Sake 1
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