jerrygordon3 Posted May 26, 2020 Posted May 26, 2020 I recently left someone who was just amazing because we are on different trajectories. ( spelling?).. im seeing my ex again, who is super similar: we both are driven and ambitious, but have been struggling to make it"". my thing is I want to move out of the country, play the stock market, live off of my disability from the war, and figured I would open up a business. doesn't sound like it, but I've put a lot of thought, time, and research into all of the above. My problem is im at this stand still, with the virus, not being able to leave the country, but most importantly im feeling like.. lost.... i need direction, but I also need to find happiness. I put so much pressure on myself to get out of being a nurse and going into business for myself, i've completely lost my happiness along the way.. and I wish to GOD I was just happy having a simple life and staying here in San Diego with my ex and chasing goals here. But its so expensive I feel like I have to move just to chase the dream of living abroad and also because it's the 12th most expensive city in the world ( numbeo.com). My biggest concern is, im potentially losing good partners? potentially losing good years of my life, searching... And I honestly don't even know what it is im looking for. how are you supposed to just be happy and content when your entire being is telling you to go chase your dreams and not care about women, and kids, and family and blah. I'm a good looking dude, and meet girls just fine, but dating is hard, and I hate it... I was recently told I always seem to be in a relationship and I've noticed it too. Im a sensitive cancer, always getting myself into relationships, and then I leave the person because i'm not ready to settle down and sacrifice being able to chase a goal. I'm just not ready for that. But I really want to be. I want to be happy just being like other people. But the thought of starting a career for someone else, and scraping by in SD,CA... it's just like... I feel like I want more. but im pissing away my happiness and good wife material girls in the process. and it's wearing on me. I wonder sometimes if I need intensive therapy or just the balls to stand up for what I want in life and focus and go for it. might be answering my own question there... But my big worry: I don't want to grow old alone. I don't want to die alone. I want to have a family. But I am terrified of having a family too, probably because mine sucked growing up. I didn't think being content would be so difficult as an adult. did I miss something in the life lessons thats causing me to chase my tail and pout? Asking for a friend lol.
chillii Posted May 26, 2020 Posted May 26, 2020 (edited) How old are you op if you don't mind ? But it'd play a big part for some in which way to go if they also had dreams of a family and settling down too. But anyway , believe it or not it's an age old question with us restless dream types , love, life , or the dream. l'm thinking try it for a yr , 2 , go for it , settle it once and for all, get it out of your system , or maybe into your system whichever way it goes. that's what l did. As for the gf , dunno , that parts a tough one . Depends l suppose just how all that is and how you truly feel about her and see her very very long term. It sounds a little more like a convenience tbh but eh , don;t know you and l could be very wrong about that, Edited May 26, 2020 by chillii
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 27, 2020 Author Posted May 27, 2020 1 hour ago, Realitysux said: This is a cute post whys it cute lol
Author jerrygordon3 Posted May 27, 2020 Author Posted May 27, 2020 46 minutes ago, chillii said: How old are you op if you don't mind ? But it'd play a big part for some in which way to go if they also had dreams of a family and settling down too. But anyway , believe it or not it's an age old question with us restless dream types , love, life , or the dream. l'm thinking try it for a yr , 2 , go for it , settle it once and for all, get it out of your system , or maybe into your system whichever way it goes. that's what l did. As for the gf , dunno , that parts a tough one . Depends l suppose just how all that is and how you truly feel about her and see her very very long term. It sounds a little more like a convenience tbh but eh , don;t know you and l could be very wrong about that, im 33 amigo... Ya idk. I just struggle with being happy. sometimes I feel like I took the Blue pill, and woke up from the Matrix lol. Like I had the girl, the job, the education, and a clear path to a family. it fell apart. all of it, a couple years ago... and it's just been this... back and forth, unhappy, weird medium. i met someone and figured since she was just amazing all the way through i should be happy. We got in a rel.... and I had just come back from traveling for 6 months. went abck to nursing... then I got fired... a quick reminded of why I hate this field so much. and then the girl, she wants to settle down, and never leave SD.... aghhhhh. thats a good way to get stuck in the eternal lower middle class here and just struggle until the kids grow up and you can take a trip to paris and stay in a 3 star hotel.. woot. f***kkkkkk that.. I want to be wealthy enough to be able to travel when I want not have to beg my job for a couple weeks off so I can try and enjoy a couple weeks out of my year.
miranda561 Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, jerrygordon3 said: im 33 amigo... Ya idk. I just struggle with being happy. sometimes I feel like I took the Blue pill, and woke up from the Matrix lol. Like I had the girl, the job, the education, and a clear path to a family. it fell apart. all of it, a couple years ago... and it's just been this... back and forth, unhappy, weird medium. i met someone and figured since she was just amazing all the way through i should be happy. We got in a rel.... and I had just come back from traveling for 6 months. went abck to nursing... then I got fired... a quick reminded of why I hate this field so much. and then the girl, she wants to settle down, and never leave SD.... aghhhhh. thats a good way to get stuck in the eternal lower middle class here and just struggle until the kids grow up and you can take a trip to paris and stay in a 3 star hotel.. woot. f***kkkkkk that.. I want to be wealthy enough to be able to travel when I want not have to beg my job for a couple weeks off so I can try and enjoy a couple weeks out of my year. Youre 33m young enough still. Just chill..go with the flow.stop over thinking and looking back... Only be forward thinking. And dont let your mind wonder Edited May 27, 2020 by miranda561 1
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