Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 22 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Awww that’s sweet yea it’s happened to me quite a bit, but I am really analytical on my dates. They seemed really different to me , but I’m not sure if others would notice. They were much more wit in text... quick witted and interesting... I don’t know if it’s true the other way( people who are boring texters often boring in person ) because I wouldn’t make it on a date with someone I found boring in text...but I will accept others’ experiences that that is the case most of the time I posted as much. Poor communicators, from my experience, from texting, also have been, predictably, not much better in person. Yes, your original post is right, there are people who are much more revealing and talkative when online/texting than they are in person, but I find that uninteresting or anemic (in terms of imagination, response quality) texters are also not very communicative, in person. Just my experience... 1
Miss Spider Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 (edited) xxxxxx Edited May 27, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Miss Spider Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Thanks, gr8ful. I am not surprised that if a person isn’t interesting in text, they usually aren’t interesting in person. To me it’s always been more about quality than quantity. I’d rather get two texts of substance a week than a constant string of how are you/hi/goodnight, babe’s ...In fact if a guy has substance in his texts but texts less and also takes more than a couple minutes to get back it ups my interest in him A LOT. Just the fact he’s got other stuff going on and doesn’t expect me to get into real time chat with him is attractive. Jmo, Edited May 27, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
poppyfields Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 (edited) I think maybe some people feel more comfortable behind a screen, and can be more themselves. Like if they had social anxiety for example, that might cause them to feel nervous and awkward when meeting for the first time in person. If you take time to get to know them, you might find they are just as witty and charming in person as over text. Problem is, first impressions are everything, and so most get rejected after the first meet. Edited May 27, 2020 by poppyfields 1 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 (edited) @cookiesanddough. I don't know if it's me or are you self-quoting your posts? When I read them, I don't see a direct response from you, but see what must be your post in a 'quote' box. So, when I try to quote it to respond, there is nothing. Anyway, I cannot argue with your last post. Edited May 27, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 7 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I think maybe some people feel more comfortable behind a screen, and can be more themselves. Like if they had social anxiety for example, that might cause them to feel nervous and awkward when meeting for the first time in person. If you take time to get to know them, you might find they are just as witty and charming in person as over text. Problem is, first impressions are everything, and so most get rejected after the first meet. I have stopped communication from a few ladies who have texted. The way I look at it, if, at the onset, you cannot communicate and especially answer my questions to some satisfaction while texting/emailing and this is your preferred method of communication, after a few rounds or days, we are not a match. It screams not interested, not able to communicate. I have met a few, of course, and found just too little in common, despite what profiles claim. I am a huge communicator and love to have conversations about every and anything. I personally need and want a woman is able to communicate effectively and that includes vocalizing their needs, expectations in a relationship. Many women are not. Or men. 1
Emilie Jolie Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 Every non-texter's nightmare starts with the sentence 'but it only takes a few seconds of your time...'.Pavlovian reflex for me. I read that and I bolt. 1
poppyfields Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 (edited) 34 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: I have stopped communication from a few ladies who have texted. The way I look at it, if, at the onset, you cannot communicate and especially answer my questions to some satisfaction while texting/emailing and this is your preferred method of communication, after a few rounds or days, we are not a match. It screams not interested, not able to communicate. I have met a few, of course, and found just too little in common, despite what profiles claim. I am a huge communicator and love to have conversations about every and anything. I personally need and want a woman is able to communicate effectively and that includes vocalizing their needs, expectations in a relationship. Many women are not. Or men. I have stopped texting or emailing too for essentially the same reasons. Lke I said if we can't communicate properly over text or I don't feel a certain vibe (which I can definitely feel on line) what's the point of continuing to chat and meeting? None. I don't even think it needs justification, like she won't answer questions or whatever, if we're not "feeling it" then we're not feeling it and that's ok! But what does that have to do with what cookies and I posted about about some people having seemingly two different personalities, one on line, the other in person? Or a person having social anxiety and being witty and charming over text but nervous and awkward in person, which was what my post that you quoted was about? Edited May 27, 2020 by poppyfields 2
simpycurious Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 1 hour ago, Spainglish said: @ simpycurious. Thank you so much. I actually wore it to a Kentucky Derby themed charity auction. I even had long red gloves to match. It was so much fun! I have been to the Derby a few times and it is quite the "show" but I never won any money sad to say. It was FUN nonetheless. Did the heels match the gloves and hat? 1
simpycurious Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 34 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said: Every non-texter's nightmare starts with the sentence 'but it only takes a few seconds of your time...'.Pavlovian reflex for me. I read that and I bolt. Or it starts with "What's up" which I have quite a few patented responses too. I don't LIKE annoying text messages when they are truly not saying anything and wasting my time. I am not one that sits around that much aside from the RONA ordeal and I honestly NOT enjoy messing with my phone constantly. I just don't need to communicate that much with anyone aside from my Mom (if she needs me or just needs to communicate with me cause she is lonely then I will text for an hour or call) 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 1 hour ago, poppyfields said: But what does that have to do with what cookies and I posted about about some people having seemingly two different personalities, one on line, the other in person? Or a person having social anxiety and being witty and charming over text but nervous and awkward in person, which was what my post that you quoted was about? You specifically mention different personalities one on line, the other in person. I specifically mention 'despite profile claims.' The online (profile) persona typically doesn't match the 'in-person' persona. I was, in fact, agreeing with you. As for the charming and witty part, I wasn't deny or objecting. It's because I agree that that could be the case, I didn't think to respond directly. 1
miranda561 Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 2 hours ago, poppyfields said: I think maybe some people feel more comfortable behind a screen, and can be more themselves. Like if they had social anxiety for example, that might cause them to feel nervous and awkward when meeting for the first time in person. If you take time to get to know them, you might find they are just as witty and charming in person as over text. Problem is, first impressions are everything, and so most get rejected after the first meet. A lot of guys i come across on old say they see a girlonce andif they don't like her at the time won't give them another chance. But i think sometimes i know i do for example..people take time to warm upto someome 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 On 5/26/2020 at 10:40 AM, Butters14 said: Hi guys, I've been dating this girl for almost 2 months now and I wanted your point of view on this. Basically, she is the type that BARELY checks her phone, she just hates using it from what she told me. I don't think I've ever seen her check her phone when we're together. It has been like that since the beginning, 1-2 replies per day max. She has never turned me down when I asked her out (yet) and when we're together, it's great (and I think she's really fun to be with), but between dates, BARELY any communication. She also has never initiated texting (obviously). We live a bit less than 1 hour apart and with the current situation, seeing each other more than once a week is difficult (she does sleep over on weekends). I'm posting this because I'm not going to see her this weekend as she had other plans (and that's perfectly fine) but we haven't texted at all since she left on Saturday and I don't think she will unless I do... I'd feel really weird if we didn't talk at all for almost 2 weeks... Is it needy of me to want her to text first for once? Or am I expecting too much from someone who is not into her phone at all? I'm not the needy/possessive type at all, but I do expect SOME thing on her part. OK, lets try to alter our society to create a new social policy where because everyone else around us is abrupt and rude, we will now shamelessly shame those few who remain otherwise. Maybe they will conform and maybe our shaming will make us feel better. Either way, we win! Another thing that merits mention is that your likely sample size of her behavior is limited to times when she is with you (and when hopefully she wants to be at her best). I wouldn't worry about this unLESS you learn (somehow) that she is a rabid texter to everyone else in her life.
Spainglish Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 2 hours ago, simpycurious said: I have been to the Derby a few times and it is quite the "show" but I never won any money sad to say. It was FUN nonetheless. Did the heels match the gloves and hat? They did not, however I did think about it. I decided I wanted a pop of red only; red hat, gloves, lipstick, manicure and pedicure. Red shoes would've drawn everyone to my feet. I wanted to draw people in to my smile. 1 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 3 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said: Welcome to dating in 1985 :). Wow, that was more succinct than my effort representing approximately the same thing.
Spainglish Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 2 hours ago, simpycurious said: Or it starts with "What's up" which I have quite a few patented responses too. I don't LIKE annoying text messages when they are truly not saying anything and wasting my time. I am not one that sits around that much aside from the RONA ordeal and I honestly NOT enjoy messing with my phone constantly. I just don't need to communicate that much with anyone aside from my Mom (if she needs me or just needs to communicate with me cause she is lonely then I will text for an hour or call) What's up? 1
simpycurious Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 1 minute ago, Spainglish said: They did not, however I did think about it. I decided I wanted a pop of red only; red hat, gloves, lipstick, manicure and pedicure. Red shoes would've drawn everyone to my feet. I wanted to draw people in to my smile. Well done Spainglish well done...........red heels might have been a bit much although they were ok for Dorothy or were those RUBY RED heels? 1
simpycurious Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 Just now, Spainglish said: What's up? Touche'................what's up indeed. So describe the hat? 1
poppyfields Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Spainglish said: What's up? Lol, I've had guys text me that^ or "Whattup"! I actually thought it was hysterical but I kinda liked the guy so........ Edited May 28, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Spainglish Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 When I get a "what's up?" I usually answer with "why don't you tell me?" Stumps them every time. ha ha ha 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 9 minutes ago, Spainglish said: When I get a "what's up?" I usually answer with "why don't you tell me?" Stumps them every time. ha ha ha Omg I love that. Gonna use it. Reminds me of how I answer toddlers when they ask "why?" I always say, "Well, why do YOU think...(repeat their exact question)??" 1 1
Emilie Jolie Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 4 hours ago, simpycurious said: Or it starts with "What's up" which I have quite a few patented responses too. I don't LIKE annoying text messages when they are truly not saying anything I don't actually mind 'what's up'. You can reply with a and move on with your day. Those that do that are fairly low maintenance, I find. What I hate is full on text convos or early dating 'keep in touch' phase. Either see me in person or call, don't text. I'm a grown adult, not a teenager. 1 1
Miss Spider Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 (edited) I just got a text from earlier that said “I’m so happy my house cleaner is here today!” Edited May 28, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Emilie Jolie Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said: Some guy just texted me “I’m so happy my house cleaner is here today!” Yeah, that type of stream of consciousness. Just. Why?
Recommended Posts