Ellener Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 I've opened up my dating profile again, started messaging with a new man, I guess it'll be a bit slower with the pandemic but I'll play it by ear! Any thoughts anyone? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 Slow is good , good luck. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 Cool. I've been thinking about doing the same. Have fun 3 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 Good luck Ellener........you will do great. Cannot believe that someone else knows Feynman....wow great quote of his......."What I cannot create, I do not understand"............think about that 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 I'm glad you're feeling like it! Just don't get attached until you know he is more of an asset than a liability! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 2 hours ago, preraph said: I'm glad you're feeling like it! Just don't get attached until you know he is more of an asset than a liability! That is sound advice Preraph 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, simpycurious said: Good luck Ellener........you will do great. Cannot believe that someone else knows Feynman....wow great quote of his......."What I cannot create, I do not understand"............think about that Simps..how can I contact you?need some advice.. it won't let me pm. Sorry mods if this isn't allowed.. I'm feeling kind of down about online dating. How long have you been back, Ellener? Have you noticed it's the same as before? Edited May 24, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 What things did you learn from previous dating experiences? What are you changing this time? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 7 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: 'm feeling kind of down about online dating. How long have you been back, Ellener? Have you noticed it's the same as before? We started the re-opening from the lockdown here on @ the 13th May, I know myself- I would stay locked down for months if I don't make an effort! I enjoy being a recluse in some ways. Why are you down? ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 7 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: What things did you learn from previous dating experiences? What are you changing this time? The last guy I was dating is nice but he wants to see other people so I ended that- I can't see the point in getting closer to someone if that's the case! I only want to see one person at a time, I'm looking for a relationship not a hobby! Haven't changed my mind about that but I'm clearer about it in my mind. I don't even want to write to more than one person at a time, it's a bit too confusing for me 🙃 I haven't had any negative experiences with dating, since I started last year, though it's all very different than it was thirty some years ago. I found the match website difficult to get into at first, the key seems to be using the 'remove from search' feature so you don't keep getting the same 'matches' over and over. What's been difficult is I met someone in real life and we've not been able to have a relationship, he's still heartbroken over a bereavement years ago. I've waited without saying anything demanding to see if he could move forward and he hasn't, the pandemic would have made that happen if anything did, so now I've decided to forget about him. He's very special, and we've had a sort-of understanding that we would get together and I would prefer a direct conversation to be clear that I'm moving on, but he's even been avoidant about that! It's one thing I like about OLD as opposed to meeting people every day, the boundaries are easier to set. I have had these intense 'potential relationships' through friendships before, I guess they fill a gap for a person who can't move on, but I find them frustrating now. At least with OLD if the person then changes tack, like the last guy as in 'I'm looking for a special relationship' becoming 'I went several special relationships, I can't choose!' the boundaries are clearer. With the pandemic I am very aware that people are anxious and isolated and maybe lonely, and that any connections may be transient once that situation resolves. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 9 minutes ago, Ellener said: I only want to see one person at a time, I'm looking for a relationship not a hobby! ..... I don't even want to write to more than one person at a time, it's a bit too confusing for me 🙃 I agree. After my D, I had a bunch of people telling me how fun it can be to "Play the field" again. (Probably just trying to cheer me up some) But as I moved into dating... I realized that's not who I am. Not to mention... I just didn't have the energy to "Date" all the time. I have a life, and 2 kids to take care of. Good for you for breaking it off when someone didn't fit your needs and life goals. I wish you luck in moving forward. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 @Blind-Sided I'm a hopeless romantic, and I think it's easy to 'fill the gaps' in a relationship via imagination anyway- I don't want to be seeing multiple people then find I've created a romance-Frankenstein all in my own mind! I need a simple life to be happy, not to mention sane 🤣 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 1 hour ago, Ellener said: @Blind-Sided I'm a hopeless romantic, and I think it's easy to 'fill the gaps' in a relationship via imagination anyway- I don't want to be seeing multiple people then find I've created a romance-Frankenstein all in my own mind! I need a simple life to be happy, not to mention sane 🤣 I found it to be the opposite. I was more liable to create a romance in my head if I was only communicating or seeing one person at a time. When I finally bit the bullet and started multi dating, it was far less emotionally draining. But to be clear, I only multi dated in the early stages. If after a number of dates someone stood out as a better match, I’d seek exclusivity with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 Go, go, go....slower. Within a date of being contacted by a woman on a popular OLD site, we made plans to meet while she was vacationing in my state. She lives in a nearby state. I drove 3 hours and she drove 8 (passing through there anyway) and we met for three hours at a lovely, open park in a small town. Had lunch. Sat across from one another at a bench and laughed, talked, joked, reminded ourselves how crazy we were, etc. We are both romantics. We have agreed to see one another on her way back and give it a go. We'll see... Anyway, don't think OLD is going to change. Nope. Not. People may have reflected on their priorities and mortality during the pandemic (which still goes on) or lock down, but that was DURING...we are getting more free...which also means more free to go back to what we were doing. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 Good luck out there, Ellener. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 Good luck @Gr8fuln2020 I think sometimes sponteneity leads to most joyful times! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Ellener said: Good luck @Gr8fuln2020 I think sometimes sponteneity leads to most joyful times! Thank you and I agree. We are both tired of dating people who have given up on living life with adventure, to be honest. We both have the means and time, so we went for it. We also talked about a need to have a plan demonstrate reciprocity in our efforts. Thank goodness the flights to and fro the airports are cheap. So, every weekend is not far fetched. Again, we both have the means and time. Edited May 24, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020 2 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 13 hours ago, Ellener said: We started the re-opening from the lockdown here on @ the 13th May, I know myself- I would stay locked down for months if I don't make an effort! I enjoy being a recluse in some ways. Why are you down? ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Don't be down you have too much going for you............. 20 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Simps..how can I contact you?need some advice.. it won't let me pm. Sorry mods if this isn't allowed.. I'm feeling kind of down about online dating. How long have you been back, Ellener? Have you noticed it's the same as before? Sure..........I hope it goes great for everyone that is involved in OLD 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 13 hours ago, Ellener said: We started the re-opening from the lockdown here on @ the 13th May, I know myself- I would stay locked down for months if I don't make an effort! I enjoy being a recluse in some ways. Why are you down? ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Just haven’t talked to anyone i remotely liked romantically in a long time...hugs back.. Thankd. Also it’s complicated where I’m at because we are still sort of in a gray zone where restrictions are more lax, but a lot of people still have that fear... Thanks simpy 🤗 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 12 hours ago, Ellener said: @Blind-Sided I'm a hopeless romantic, and I think it's easy to 'fill the gaps' in a relationship via imagination anyway- I don't want to be seeing multiple people then find I've created a romance-Frankenstein all in my own mind! I need a simple life to be happy, not to mention sane 🤣 Simple and Sane....two good S's to abide by. 25 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Just haven’t talked to anyone i remotely liked romantically in a long time...hugs back.. Thankd. Also it’s complicated where I’m at because we are still sort of in a gray zone where restrictions are more lax, but a lot of people still have that fear... Thanks simpy 🤗 You are so welcome..........🤗 You never know what can happen tomorrow or when the lightening might "strike" so do not get down......... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rjc149 Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 Keep you expectations low, your heart guarded, and your mind open. And make sure, above all else, that you are having fun. It's supposed to be fun, remember? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
QuietRiot Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 (edited) I am curious when single people start getting antsy, they could start seeing other strangers from the Internet, thus encouraging the viral spread. The idiots are coming out in droves in some areas unfortunately...most of them mask-less. Sure, some areas are re-opening, but be prepared for another lock down because these re-openings are going to cause outbreaks or flares once again and the cities will have to go into lock down...again. I am also curious when I see these dating message boards that why should this kind of thing be up for discussion when there's a pandemic going on? If you are going to start a thread where you've "met someone new" at least discuss the parameters by which you're meeting during this new normal. First date, wear masks....stay beyond 6 feet? No kissing or sex until there's a vaccine in place? Edited May 25, 2020 by QuietRiot 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, QuietRiot said: I am curious when single people start getting antsy, they could start seeing other strangers from the Internet, thus encouraging the viral spread. The idiots are coming out in droves in some areas unfortunately...most of them mask-less. Sure, some areas are re-opening, but be prepared for another lock down because these re-openings are going to cause outbreaks or flares once again and the cities will have to go into lock down...again. I am also curious when I see these dating message boards that why should this kind of thing be up for discussion when there's a pandemic going on? If you are going to start a thread where you've "met someone new" at least discuss the parameters by which you're meeting during this new normal. First date, wear masks....stay beyond 6 feet? No kissing or sex until there's a vaccine in place? You go to the beaches and the lakes and there is ZERO social distancing and quarantining. The water is covered with so many fishing boats, ski boats, pontoon boats, and PEOPLE. So many think that the heat (80 degrees and up) will make the RONA go away. Edited May 25, 2020 by simpycurious 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, QuietRiot said: I am curious when single people start getting antsy, they could start seeing other strangers from the Internet, thus encouraging the viral spread. The idiots are coming out in droves in some areas unfortunately...most of them mask-less. Sure, some areas are re-opening, but be prepared for another lock down because these re-openings are going to cause outbreaks or flares once again and the cities will have to go into lock down...again. I am also curious when I see these dating message boards that why should this kind of thing be up for discussion when there's a pandemic going on? If you are going to start a thread where you've "met someone new" at least discuss the parameters by which you're meeting during this new normal. First date, wear masks....stay beyond 6 feet? No kissing or sex until there's a vaccine in place? I agree with everything. Im single and there are plenty of people who want to meet, but i still havent because of lockdown. However most friends i know couldnt stay away from their other halves 🙄, while im sitting here having had zero interaction with anyone socially. Its pretty annoying to be honest.😡 Edited May 25, 2020 by miranda561 Link to post Share on other sites
QuietRiot Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 2 minutes ago, miranda561 said: I agree with everything. Im single and there are plenty of people who want to meet, but i still havent because of lockdown. However most friends i know couldnt stay away from their other halves 🙄, while im sitting here having had zero interaction with anyone socially. Its pretty annoying to be honest. Yeah, I have a friend of mine, that lives with her mother (she works from home) who sees her boyfriend an hour away. She's always taking the trip as she won't bring him back to her mom's home. But I couldn't help but think how minimal the risk that is. WHo knows where he's been. She think she's being somewhat careful by seeing him and only him outside of the house. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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