Wanderlust2018 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Curious as what people think about dating someone who routinely brings up the other partners “white privilege?”
preraph Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 I certainly wouldn't and I wouldn't stay friends with someone who did because that is nothing but race-baiting end racism on their part. 3
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 15 minutes ago, Wanderlust2018 said: Curious as what people think about dating someone who routinely brings up the other partners “white privilege?” Well, it certainly exists, but I certainly would not want to discuss something as contentious as that on a date. Come on. Who wants to hear that as a conversation point. Yeah, that person is looking for some fireworks or conflict. You say 'rountinely', so this is someone you have dated for some time. Not one date. Since it bothers you, why continue dating that person? Also, if the person has this need to bring white privilege to the conversation, 'routinely', either my first paragraph or the guy/person is being a ding-a-ling about it in some other way and feeding the unsavory discourse. 1
Author Wanderlust2018 Posted May 23, 2020 Author Posted May 23, 2020 29 minutes ago, preraph said: I certainly wouldn't and I wouldn't stay friends with someone who did because that is nothing but race-baiting end racism on their part. That’s what I was thinking...by virtue of those comments, or that way of thinking, seems to imply some level of racism in of itself. 1
Author Wanderlust2018 Posted May 23, 2020 Author Posted May 23, 2020 20 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Well, it certainly exists, but I certainly would not want to discuss something as contentious as that on a date. Come on. Who wants to hear that as a conversation point. Yeah, that person is looking for some fireworks or conflict. You say 'rountinely', so this is someone you have dated for some time. Not one date. Since it bothers you, why continue dating that person? Also, if the person has this need to bring white privilege to the conversation, 'routinely', either my first paragraph or the guy/person is being a ding-a-ling about it in some other way and feeding the unsavory discourse. Yes, I certainly don’t deny that it doesn’t exist. When it came up previously, I had expressed in a healthy but clear way that statements like that, or accusations, and rhetoric of “just embrace your white privilege” made me quite uncomfortable. She acknowledged and knew this, yet continued again last evening. I did explain that this just wasn’t going to work for me. The really ironic thing is, that I’m of mixed race; I’m half Caucasian and half her race, which she’s well aware of. She’s also aware that I worked very hard to get to where I’m at...self made, educated, great career and income and that nothing has ever been handed to me. I find it all very strange and myopic.
Emilie Jolie Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) maybe she was trying to suss you and your politics out? Edited May 23, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Hopeful30 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 1 hour ago, Wanderlust2018 said: Curious as what people think about dating someone who routinely brings up the other partners “white privilege?” I think it's an example of a primitive mind and an underdeveloped understanding of spirituality and what the human experience is really about. 2 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 51 minutes ago, Wanderlust2018 said: Yes, I certainly don’t deny that it doesn’t exist. When it came up previously, I had expressed in a healthy but clear way that statements like that, or accusations, and rhetoric of “just embrace your white privilege” made me quite uncomfortable. She acknowledged and knew this, yet continued again last evening. I did explain that this just wasn’t going to work for me. The really ironic thing is, that I’m of mixed race; I’m half Caucasian and half her race, which she’s well aware of. She’s also aware that I worked very hard to get to where I’m at...self made, educated, great career and income and that nothing has ever been handed to me. I find it all very strange and myopic. Yeah, that does sound strange. Maybe she was just venting? Did she know that you were mixed? I don't know. I don't talk about that. I am clearly not caucasian and when women I date begin to talk about it, I tend to make the conversation brief and move on to other conversation points that are more immediately important.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, Emilie Jolie said: maybe she was trying to suss you and your politics out? Yeah. This could be it. Edited May 23, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Weezy1973 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) I think tolerance level for that sort of thing is going to depend on the person. Often people talk about other people’s “privilege” as a way of making excuses for their own lack of success. Edited May 23, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Author Wanderlust2018 Posted May 23, 2020 Author Posted May 23, 2020 9 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Yeah, that does sound strange. Maybe she was just venting? Did she know that you were mixed? I don't know. I don't talk about that. I am clearly not caucasian and when women I date begin to talk about it, I tend to make the conversation brief and move on to other conversation points that are more immediately important. She definitely knew I was mixed. At one point, I had shared with her that my great grandmother only spoke Spanish, and my grandmother was bilingual. For that its worth, she, who I’m referring to, is Hispanic. That said, at least half of my closest friends, if not more are Hispanic, which she also knew. It’s not like I only associate with Caucasian’s. She was also aware that I’m an investor/partner in a business in Mexico and that my partners are Mexican nationals. They’re like second family to me. The whole thing is just...odd...
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 1 minute ago, Wanderlust2018 said: She definitely knew I was mixed. At one point, I had shared with her that my great grandmother only spoke Spanish, and my grandmother was bilingual. For that its worth, she, who I’m referring to, is Hispanic. That said, at least half of my closest friends, if not more are Hispanic, which she also knew. It’s not like I only associate with Caucasian’s. She was also aware that I’m an investor/partner in a business in Mexico and that my partners are Mexican nationals. They’re like second family to me. The whole thing is just...odd... To be honest, it sounded like she was bitter. Bitter people, no matter the reason, are a 'no-go!' 1
Author Wanderlust2018 Posted May 23, 2020 Author Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: I think tolerance level for that sort of thing is going to depend on the person. Often people talk about other people’s “privilege” as a way of making excuses for their own lack of success. Interesting observation. I did have a feeling that it was a lot about making excuses for her own position in life and sort of playing the victim. It just feels like that is a huge axe to grind or big chip on ones shoulder...IMO. Edited May 23, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Ellener Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 3 hours ago, Wanderlust2018 said: Curious as what people think about dating someone who routinely brings up the other partners “white privilege?” Hmmm about the same as someone telling me I was privileged any other way I guess...even as a topic in open discussion white privilege seems a bit over the top for a date! I do know people who are ultra-political, but one thing I'm learning is relationships need to be fun first. If that's your idea of fun, cool 2
homecoming Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 2 hours ago, Wanderlust2018 said: Yes, I certainly don’t deny that it doesn’t exist. When it came up previously, I had expressed in a healthy but clear way that statements like that, or accusations, and rhetoric of “just embrace your white privilege” made me quite uncomfortable. She acknowledged and knew this, yet continued again last evening. I did explain that this just wasn’t going to work for me. The really ironic thing is, that I’m of mixed race; I’m half Caucasian and half her race, which she’s well aware of. She’s also aware that I worked very hard to get to where I’m at...self made, educated, great career and income and that nothing has ever been handed to me. I find it all very strange and myopic. What was the context in which she had bought this up? Personally also, I find the negative comments aimed at this woman so far on this thread a bit unfair. To call someone racist/a "race baiter" when they are not here to defend themselves and with limited knowledge of the context is a bit unfair. Could there be more context, please, OP?
Robert Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Let's keep the posts narrowed down to the topic only and the topic doesn't include the political side of the phrase but rather the side that deals with dating someone who uses the phrase. Thanks 1
Lotsgoingon Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Just pay attention to how you felt with the person. If the person's words didn't feel right, game over. 2
preraph Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) What other aim could she possibly have by bringing up those words? It's pretty clear who the words are taking aim at. Edited May 23, 2020 by preraph
max3732 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 4 hours ago, Wanderlust2018 said: Curious as what people think about dating someone who routinely brings up the other partners “white privilege?” I'd find another partner. 2
Zona Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 5 hours ago, Wanderlust2018 said: Curious as what people think about dating someone who routinely brings up the other partners “white privilege?” I think it's time to find someone else to date. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 I do have to say, the title of your thread is misleading, I think. Too bad it can't be changed to something more accurate. This discussion, fundamentally, has nothing to do with ethnicity and dating...more like political discussions that are contentious. 1 1
homecoming Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, preraph said: What other aim could she possibly have by bringing up those words? It's pretty clear who the words are taking aim at. They may have been discussing social issues, cultural backgrounds, anything. It's not an insult to discuss the concept of white privilege, and I suspect she meant 'passing' privilege as OP has stated he is mixed race. Either way, I'm not getting into a personal belief debate on here. OP just don't date her if it's an issue for you, simple. Edited May 23, 2020 by homecoming
Author Wanderlust2018 Posted May 23, 2020 Author Posted May 23, 2020 1 hour ago, homecoming said: They may have been discussing social issues, cultural backgrounds, anything. It's not an insult to discuss the concept of white privilege, and I suspect she meant 'passing' privilege as OP has stated he is mixed race. Either way, I'm not getting into a personal belief debate on here. OP just don't date her if it's an issue for you, simple. Yes, it would come up in just your average and routine everyday type conversation..:sharing something about my past, an experience from the past or from the day, or something from my day at work. I’ve dated women from various ethnic backgrounds and never in my life have I ever had one bring something this like up. 1
Miss Spider Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) I believe in racial and other types of inequality, but I can’t when people use the term “[insert group of people ] privilege”’ unironically, so we wouldn’t be dating. Edited May 23, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Emilie Jolie Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Do you come from very different socio economic backgrounds to the point where she may be a bit intimidated perhaps, rather than bitter?
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