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Miss Spider

By Miss Spider
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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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I also want to mention he had an obvious h*rd on the whole time... Sorry, it was just something more disturbing to tack on to this already disturbing story, sigh

I am literally still cringing at everything that happened

kill me

Edited by Cookiesandough
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nospam99 Established Member

nospam99

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Posted (edited)

re: the philosophy guy as an example, I want to confirm two understandings ....

First, that you want to meet a guy (or guys) who you find to be BOTH physically and intellectually interesting.

Second, that you continue to find it difficult to tell the guys you meet when you don't want a romantic relationship with them or you just don't want to see them again at all. So you often leave them in a limbo of uncertainty about your intentions with respect to them and may only communicate a boundary when faced with a meeting or date that you just don't want to have.

If I'm correct about the above, the first one strikes me as typical for most people of both sexes. There may be people only interested in intellect and others only interested in physicality. But other than for a NSA ONS, I assume most people want both.

The second seems to be an issue you have trouble dealing with. You appear to be sensitive and caring enough to want to avoid hurting men's feelings by 'saying no'. But you've ended up saying no anyway when the circumstances make for even a little more hurt feelings.

Do you think you're consistently being honest with yourself about your intentions with each of the men you meet? If not, I hope you can work on that.

BTW, to whatever extent it's part of your decision-making process, I suggest you assume that all the men you meet are going to be interested in seeing you again. Too much SMV, ya know.

re: the second philosophy guy post which I didn't see while composing the above, the whole time? How awkward for both of you :(

Edited by nospam99
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Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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Posted

good for you for going. Now just cross him off the list.  He's not it for you.  Over time you are bound to get closer and closer to the right person..  You should be proud of yourself for going; not hard on yourself cause you don't find him attractive & acknowledge as you did the portions of him that are (mind). 

He probably will ask you out again. Just wait until that moment and tell him that you're not interested in that way.  Good luck :)

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simpycurious Established Member

simpycurious

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7 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

good for you for going. Now just cross him off the list.  He's not it for you.  Over time you are bound to get closer and closer to the right person..  You should be proud of yourself for going; not hard on yourself cause you don't find him attractive & acknowledge as you did the portions of him that are (mind). 

He probably will ask you out again. Just wait until that moment and tell him that you're not interested in that way.  Good luck :)

VH is right be proud of yourself for at meeting the guy.  It really is HARD to find people that CHECK ALL THE BOXES.  I used to think it would get easier with the passage of time but now I am certain that it only gets more difficult.  I guess when you apply the law of averages to the whole dating process the more you experience the closer you get to finding what you ultimately want.  

"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality"................especially dating wise

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FMW Established Member

FMW

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I'm probably going to say something that goes against the flow, but I've never been a proponent of just going out with someone to be going out.  If you don't have any interest in the guy to begin with, most of the time it's unlikely it's going to grow over time.  I've either had a spark at the very beginning or it never went anywhere.  That spark doesn't have to be that you think he's sexy, good looking, smart, rich, or whatever combination of those qualities.  It just has to be a spark, maybe even one you can't quite explain (which is usually my experience).  But not just "well there's nothing else going on, why not".  

If you meet up with a guy he's going to think you're interested and he's going to make some kind of move.  If you don't figure it out before, when you feel like pulling away from his touch, that means there's no point in wasting any more time.  Don't say you're shy, don't say you're afraid of Coronavirus.  You don't have to say something mean, but don't give him any reason whatsoever to think your pulling away has another cause and he has a chance.  

If you really want to meet and connect with a guy, then don't waste time on going out just to be going out.  Maybe you do it subconsciously because it's safer to enjoy the attention of guys with whom you have the upper hand because you just don't care.  But you're not going to make a real connection if you keep doing the same thing. 

My natural state is "thinking" and reasoning and being generally curious about things.  But I've found that I don't really start connecting with a guy (or anyone with whom I have any kind of relationship) until I pay attention to what I'm feeling with them. I think you might stay stuck too much in the "thinking" realm as well.  If you allow yourself to feel then I think it will be clearer much sooner when you should just give things a pass.  And it will also be more likely that you'll recognize someone you can have a real connection with.  

Just my two cents 🙂  

Edited by FMW
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Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

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Agree with FMW, big mistake to go out with this guy to some isolated property that is important to him. No, cut this off way before then ... you recoiled at his kiss. You're not going to get over that. One, he made a move too soon without reading you ... or he can't read you ... and can't read your disinterest. Which is an immediate disqualifier.

For a guy like this ... just be unavailable ... except for a coffee date in a public place ... in the middle of the date ... with time limits ... before you enter, you set a time you will leave by ... you give him an hour at most.

But this is a waste here ... a waste because it's liked you jumped down into a hole that you don't want to explore ... and now you've got to climb out and the person you're with thinks, "well gee, you jumped in the hole with me"--as in you came to my favorite spot. 

Cookie--this is going nowhere. Feel that. FMW nails that one as well. Your body is shouting disinterest. Let this guy go, say no to any further meetings ... 

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Ty so much guys. I value all your opinions Yes.... He did not ‘read’ me at all, but I attributed that to this newfound perspective on life  he had.... To read someone you need to make judgments and all that... and he was admittedly in this state of just being & acceptance...so like...out of touch.

Or he’s just not good with women...Probably that... 

 

I have a date this Friday. This has become a bit like a blog. My dating life is a nightmare. Always has been.I’ll write  if anything noteworthy comes of it. Thank you again ❤️

Edited by Cookiesandough
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fred123 Established Member

fred123

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Posted
19 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

I also want to mention he had an obvious h*rd on the whole time... Sorry, it was just something more disturbing to tack on to this already disturbing story, sigh

I am literally still cringing at everything that happened

kill me

lol thats funny. iv pmd you. hope ur doing ok

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simpycurious Established Member

simpycurious

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Posted (edited)
17 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

good for you for going. Now just cross him off the list.  He's not it for you.  Over time you are bound to get closer and closer to the right person..  You should be proud of yourself for going; not hard on yourself cause you don't find him attractive & acknowledge as you did the portions of him that are (mind). 

He probably will ask you out again. Just wait until that moment and tell him that you're not interested in that way.  Good luck :)

I also bet that he comes around again and maybe says he misses the cute corgi or something as an opener.  If you don't CLICK you just DON'T.  Hard to manufacture something that is simply not there.  Time to move to the next potential suitor.

Edited by simpycurious
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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)
17 hours ago, FMW said:

I'm probably going to say something that goes against the flow, but I've never been a proponent of just going out with someone to be going out.  If you don't have any interest in the guy to begin with, most of the time it's unlikely it's going to grow over time.  I've either had a spark at the very beginning or it never went anywhere.  That spark doesn't have to be that you think he's sexy, good looking, smart, rich, or whatever combination of those qualities.  It just has to be a spark, maybe even one you can't quite explain (which is usually my experience).  But not just "well there's nothing else going on, why not".  

If you meet up with a guy he's going to think you're interested and he's going to make some kind of move.  If you don't figure it out before, when you feel like pulling away from his touch, that means there's no point in wasting any more time.  Don't say you're shy, don't say you're afraid of Coronavirus.  You don't have to say something mean, but don't give him any reason whatsoever to think your pulling away has another cause and he has a chance.  

If you really want to meet and connect with a guy, then don't waste time on going out just to be going out.  Maybe you do it subconsciously because it's safer to enjoy the attention of guys with whom you have the upper hand because you just don't care.  But you're not going to make a real connection if you keep doing the same thing. 

My natural state is "thinking" and reasoning and being generally curious about things.  But I've found that I don't really start connecting with a guy (or anyone with whom I have any kind of relationship) until I pay attention to what I'm feeling with them. I think you might stay stuck too much in the "thinking" realm as well.  If you allow yourself to feel then I think it will be clearer much sooner when you should just give things a pass.  And it will also be more likely that you'll recognize someone you can have a real connection with.  

Just my two cents 🙂  

Absolutely 100% agree.  Waste of time to meet if you don't vibe with them at least on some level on line first. 

I've always regretted it when I've done it years back, guy would be like all ga ga and I'm left trying to get rid of him! 

Some men simply will not take no for an answer. :(

That is why last time I did OLD, I must've chatted with like 20 guys, felt nothing. No vibe at all, so just stopped responding, easy peasy.  If they got pesty, block!  

I met only two guys, first guy was funny, made me laugh, but in person, nothing.  He was cool though, texted me a few times, I told him I had met someone, which I had!  

That guy was second guy I met, who is my current bf!  :)

cookies, I am really surprised you went.  You posted a while back about meeting some guy, but you weren't into it, so ghosted on the meet.  

Folks gave you shyt about ghosting, if my memory serves me correctly, I could be wrong!  

Anyway, jmo but don't waste your time or his if you're not at least a little bit into it. 

Edited by poppyfields
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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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Posted

Some folks, when they reach a "personal enlightenment" start to think/feel that anything goes with other people. They may feel they've "seen past" all the boundaries, emotional walls that people put up (and that they were putting up in the past) etc. What they sometimes miss is that the rest of the world hasn't changed, it's only they and/or their perception, and they may tend to forget that those boundaries are often there for good reasons and always were.

He has the confidence now to approach you, make a move, etc. Good for him - I think many men would be somewhat intimidated/emotionally cautious around a woman as pretty as you are. It's progress in his case. However, you had no interest on your side and it's clear that he needs to relearn some of his old social skills, particularly the hard on thing.

Don't be too mad at him for "trying for what he wants", just accept that he tried barking up the wrong tree. And definitely no need to be down on yourself - this was really all about him. Obviously don't re-engage him (except in a purely social context perhaps), but it doesn't sound like you had any plans for that 🙂.

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Fox Sake Established Member

Fox Sake

Posted
Posted

Wow, I couldn’t quote all the posts I wanted to, but that was like reading a small excerpt from my own mind at times! Please don’t change who you are to appease anyone else. Not your hair, not your personality ( dunno what you look like but your personality seems genuine, so you’re clearly a catch) and definitely do NOT settle for anything less than you know you’re worth, just because you’re lonely or have only one half of the connection/puzzle (mental or physical). It’s not worth it! Trust me. And trust yourself- you’re clearly an intuitive old soul  ;) 

One day you’ll meet someone who will love every quality about you. And it’ll have been worth the wait.  I should take my own advice haha 

Like you,  I went through a lot of bullying in school (mine was for my name) And it doesn’t matter how many people people tell you you’re a catch, That insecure person is still hiding waaay back in there somewhere. I know it gets easier to believe it as you get older, but there’s still doubts there . I packed in a modelling career as a kid cos I didn’t feel like I had the confidence In myself to pull it off. I still don’t really Haha.  Instead my younger brother went and did it very successfully but I’m glad I didn’t turn out like that. Bullying in childhood can only make us stronger,  Teach us empathy, humility, and be more rounded and intuitive people as we get older... I know what it’s like carrying that into your adult life. 

It’s obvious you’re feeling lonely, i mean jeez you were considering settling and forcing yourself feelings you didn’t have. I feel you on the finding it hard to find anyone to connect with properly , passed the odd physical attraction or semi decent conversation. Chemistry is super important but it seems rare... (again should start listening to my own advice haha) 
 

  What happens when sh*t gets real and conversation needs to happen on a deep level?!  Or you get the opposite ones who are amazing to talk to but just don’t do it for you physically. Where’s the whole package already!!!! Not really any advice here, but you’re understood and I can relate to most of it. It’s also 5am so goodnight LS you bunch of superstars  🤩

On 5/27/2020 at 10:05 PM, Cookiesandough said:

@fred123 im down

 

Ugh, so had a first date... 

So, it's incredibly hard for me to find people I connect with beyond physical attraction...and I need way more than physical attraction to feel a "spark", so I believe this is largely why I struggle with dating. 

I just came back from meet up with a man I have not seen for almost a year. He is part of a philosophy group I was part of. We've had many conversations about epistemological and ontological stuffs. He is a great thinker and source of knowledge for me to tap into. He's also not stuffy and in his head as a lot of people who are drawn to this subject tend to be.  

 

So he asked me to meet to talk more about some thoughts he's had. I knew kind of that he was romantically interested because he is in the field basically as a profession and I am just a noob.  Basically, and this is kind of pertinent to the rest of the tale, he had reached some sort of personal enlightenment on a day last January. It essentially freed him of his ego (it's more in-depth than that, but for the sake of simplicity, that is what happened) and has made him a lot more comfortable with himself. 

 

So we met on his grandmother's property on a public road, a meditative spot for him. It's beautiful. As soon as we meet up, this change in him is extremely evident. He seems very confident and is immediately touchy-feely. Not overly so, just something I'm in tune with because I am not attracted to him AT ALL. In the physical sense, he is not my type. So I do not want to mislead him by a touch of my hand to his...etc. I do that too much. 

I closed in on myself a lot and he noticed. I told him I was just shy. We continued to have a nice conversation. We walked to the place he used to skip rocks as a kid.  Here he kissed me. It was just a light peck on the lips because as soon as he kissed me I recoiled. I began dodge his other kisses too. It was awkward because I know he thought I was nervous. But I was not attracted. I told him I'm wary of corona v, and he looked at me like I was a bit crazy because yeah. 

 

But maybe this is something I need to work on. I mean lots of people have grown attraction to people they initially didn't feel any for. He says he really likes me and I said you're cool too..but I don't know. Maybe I'm writing it off too soon. No, I can't do it...and this is where I think it is okay to block because we don't  have to keep talking to each other...and also I don't want to presumptuous and tell him I'm not interested in seeing him I don't even know if he's interested in seeing me again.

 

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GuitarGuy7 Established Member

GuitarGuy7

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Posted (edited)
On 5/23/2020 at 1:25 PM, Cookiesandough said:

No matter how comfortable you are by yourself, 2+ months of aloneness can make even the most comfortable person yearn for human interaction. 

 

Oh you think 2 months is a long time to be alone?  You merely adopted being alone; I was born in it!  Molded by it!   I didn't even interact with a woman until I was already a man and by that time it was nothing but pain and heartbreak. 

 

 

 

 

Edited by GuitarGuy7
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GuitarGuy7 Established Member

GuitarGuy7

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Posted (edited)

You're young and beautiful now Cookies but it ain't going to be this way forever. Most women in their twenties find dating to be relatively easy because this is when a woman is her most attractive and fertile, and most women in this age group have little difficulty attracting men. But this isn't going to last forever Cookies, whether you realize it or not.  You're going to get older, you're going to start losing some of that beauty, and with each passing year after the age of 40, you'll start to get less and less attention from men. Dating will go from laughably easy in your twenties to actually kind of hard by the time you're 45, not to mention that your ability to have kids will drop significantly. This is what is referred to as "the wall", when a woman's fertility and overall dating market value starts to plummet as she ages. 

You can be picky now because you're young and beautiful with plenty of options and take advantage of this while you still can. I'm telling you that if you want to find someone to settle down with, do it by the time you're 35. otherwise dating is going to get significantly harder in your forties.  You're not going to have the same luxury at 45 like you did when you were 25.  You've been warned. 

Edited by GuitarGuy7
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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Ty you, guitar guy. I appreciate it and I respect your opinion, but I think it should be more directed towards someone who fits your description. Dating is not easy for me. I dunno what about my thread gave that impression xD 

 

Thank you for the advice, guys  🙏 I will listen 

 

Thank you, fox sake, for empathizing. Means a lot to me 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Sry I can close this thread now. I have been given some amazing  guidance. Thank you 

nospam99 Established Member

nospam99

Posted
Posted

Thread's not closed yet, so I'll answer your implied question. You are correct that the thread hasn't given the impression that dating is easy for you. But people are projecting (I am among the guilty of course). In spite of what you may think, your thousands of posts present an appealing personality (check box One). Your rotation of avatar photos (the adorable puppy is on stage as I write this) check box Two for looks. The conclusion becomes ''Cookies can have any man she wants. Dating must be easy for her.'' But boxes One and Two only cover the guys' side of the transaction. The other side is your checklist, the 'man SHE WANTS' part. That's the part that we readers can't understand the way you do, the part that makes dating NOT easy.

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simpycurious Established Member

simpycurious

Posted
Posted

I am not sure THAT ANYONE can have ANYONE they want (man or woman). I have seen some incredibly attractive woman TRY to entice some of my peer group with ZERO success.  I honestly think it comes down to the individual.  Some men that LOTS of attractive women to choose from are simply NOT going to be easily swayed by ONE.  If a guy has LIMITED options then yes maybe he is easily enticed.  As far as CD is concerned maybe she really just doesn't want a relationship and it manifests in how she dates.  In other words, nobody will ever truly CHECK ALL THE BOXES thus relationships are avoided and general dating is the norm. 

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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, nospam99 said:

Your rotation of avatar photos (the adorable puppy is on stage as I write this) check box Two for looks. The conclusion becomes ''Cookies can have any man she wants. Dating must be easy for her.'' But boxes One and Two only cover the guys' side of the transaction. The other side is your checklist, the 'man SHE WANTS' part. That's the part that we readers can't understand the way you do, the part that makes dating NOT easy.

I have to agree with this^.  And cookies, you know how much I like you and I would say this to any friend. 

The fact that you have this need to post a rotation of perfectly coifed face shots points to your need for validation.  There is no other reason, this is not IG, it's a relationship advice forum.

Not sure why you remove them after two minutes, that's another wonder. 

But in any event, your need for validation suggests the reason why you struggle is to be found somewhere inside yourself. 

You often ghost before meeting too, which suggests a certain anxiety.   I have read posts wherein you sound like you're in a sort of panic before meeting, and you end up ghosting.

One man you lied to saying you were sick, then became angry at him for not calling asking how you were feeling!  This sort of proves your anxiety about it, imo.

I am not saying this to hurt you cookies, I promise. The opposite, I care.

And god knows I used to be very much like you. 

But after my breakup with my long term ex, I did a sort of internal clean up, and discovered a whole bunch of things about myself. Went into therapy. 

And with my therapist's help, we uncovered a bunch of **** within me that was causing a block. 

Much of it pertained to my looks and need for validation.  So I get it, I truly do.

Anyway, my $.03 fwiw.  

Peace and love.  xo

EDIT:  simpy made a good point too about you actually not wanting a RL, which is OK.

But then again, you say you are lonely, so there's a big internal conflict going on there. 

Worth exploring.  :)

Edited by poppyfields
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simpycurious Established Member

simpycurious

Posted
Posted

^^ Another great post and very INSIGHTFUL.  You have to sort of put the shoe on the other foot so to speak.  For example, if a guy has a lot going for him:  looks, physical prowess, money, stature, etc is he really going to allow himself to be treated poorly?  Not the guys that I know THEY HAVE TOO MANY OPTIONS so why in the world would they endure such.  Being very attractive is NOT that unique especially in certain areas (geographically speaking).  So, I pose the question "would YOU want to date YOU."

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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thanks, you guys . You’re the best. 🤗

 

@poppyfieldsty for your advice.i just want to say that I am not sure that there is anything I could receive therapy for because I overall am doing well and don’t see any issues my life.  Can a therapist help you become attracted to more people romantically? Perhaps. 

Also, I want to clarify a few things. I do not ghost ppl immediately before meeting — like when there are set plans. . I haven’t done that to my recollection. I have ghosted people I knew I didn’t want to meet and especially after we met and I was sufficiently certain I did not want to meet again. In these cases, maybe there was a degree of anxiety, but the motivating factor was mainly that I was relatively certain I did not want to spend time with them as there was not enough interest on my end. I may be wrong, but that is a good reason to decline a date. Why waste my time and especially waste someone else’s? I do believe in the concept of being unsure about someone, but a lot of people believe that is not a thing and means they should be nixed from the get go. Anyway, I do not ghost anymore.  I did that more in my early 20s, but after reading enough about it, I decided to rectify my behavior and now I send a message explaining that we are not a match. 
 

I understand that there are going to be a lot of judgments and inferences based on limited info, but in the case of the man I told I was sick, he was my bf at the time and very clingy.  I just did not want to see the person every day, and after telling  him repeatedly and not having it respected, I thought the most ‘diplomatic’ next step was to pretend to be sick. I ultimately realized this wasn’t right and broke it off. 
 

I don’t post my pics for validation. To be honest, I don’t really want nor do I ask for any opinion on my appearance and do not want any opinions to be drawn about my situation due to it. I noticed that happening(not just to myself, but other posters too), so I remove my pic when I make threads asking for advice. I don’t think my appearance has anything to do with anything and that is my final say on that. I post different pics because I have the time/am bored and try to choose which I  like best to match my face to my words on here. Other members have their photo as their avatar for what I assume to be the same reason😊 ultimately, I don’t like any of them which is another reason they get taken down 

 

Anyway, I guess this thread is not going to be closed . I have a date this eve. 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Posted (edited)

Oh and yes there was anxiety in the past when I ghosted... anxiety on how to end things has plagued me a lot because I like to make people happy and do not want to disappoint or hurt anyone’s feelings. Ive been bullied so I know what that feels like.  I thought that was the best course of action for both, but seems not. So I changed. 
 

The thread kind of goes crap when people began posting their own projections and opinions based on looks and such... pretty women are entitled, only want sex, get interest based only on sex. all those stereotypes.. I respect the opinions for what they are, but it’s not helpful to me or anything to do with me. Maybe belongs in another thread where they can vent. I still appreciate all the helpful responses.
 

I look ok/ fine, nothing more nothing less. My dating woes have 0 to do with it imo. People of all different appearances have similar struggles as me.
 

TY again 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

Posted
Posted

I think you have to reach out to the moderators to ask that a thread be closed :) 

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Posted
Just now, Versacehottie said:

I think you have to reach out to the moderators to ask that a thread be closed :) 

Ty, v ❤️I’ve reported it but maybe they just haven’t got to it yet 

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FMW Established Member

FMW

Posted
Posted
14 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Can a therapist help you become attracted to more people romantically?

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with only occasionally feeling a romantic attraction - I think that's normal actually.  Really connecting with someone isn't a common everyday occurrence. 

Since my divorce 4 years I've spent a lot of time with 4 different men - the first I was madly in love with, body and mind, but he was an unavailable player.  The second was just a really strong intellectual connection and appeal that didn't go anywhwere romantically.  The third was a FWB situation with a really attractive guy that I like alot but don't see ever really "being" with, but that was great for a year.  I ended it when I met the fourth guy I'm seeing now in a "normal" relationship, trying to have a good balance of all the aspects.  Too early to say how that's going to turn out.  But I can definitely tell you that I feel each has gotten me closer to the one that's going to really click because I've learned a lot about myself along the way.      

I'm not sure what the answer is in your case, since you say you do get lonely.  I'm not sure I've ever actually felt lonely for a romantic relationship, so I have a hard time putting together the pieces of your puzzle, being both disinterested and lonely. But you will eventually figure it out.  I haven't seen any evidence from anything you've ever written that you aren't fully capable of connecting with the right guy eventually.  I think it's just going to take some time and you're going to have some bumps along the way.  If I only had one piece of advice to focus on I would say be willing to be vulnerable and real (ok, technically that may be two pieces of advice...).  Don't try to be cool or in control all the time.  

 

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