NYDame Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 I need some advice and hoping for some help here. I have 3 children. My oldest is 11 and I also have a 2 and 3 year old. Their dad and I are divorced for a year now. Things are strange with him to say the least. I’m going to try to keep this short on here but basically their father only sees his kids for 1-2 hours per week. His choice. I allow it. But here’s my problem, he is always angry with me and 8/10 times when we exchange the kids together he has acted up with me or has tantrums. For example: he has cursed at me in front of the kids (which is the most minor thing), he’s started verbal arguments with me and my brothers, he’s assaulted my cousin, he’s thrown a can at my brothers car, he’s thrown a diaper at my car, he’s stalked us on several occasions to make sure he knows where we went after an exchange. It’s just weird and his behavior is very hostile most times. My 11 year old has witnessed all of this. I’m starting to feel like a bad parent. Like I’m not protecting my kids because I continue to exchange the kids with him. My family tells me their father is more harm to them than good. He doesn’t pay child support and only wants them 1-2 hours in a week. I feel like he’s more trouble than he’s worth and definitely a cause for mental harm to the kids right? Am I exaggerating here in saying this could be dangerous for my kids? I don’t know how to talk to my oldest about it. She sees how strange he is and she doesn’t dare to talk to her dad about it and he has no idea he has a problem or how he’s affecting her. I need some advice here. I’m considering supervised visits. I’m scared of taking this action. I’m scared of talking to my ex about this. Should I even tell him I’m considering going to the court to order supervised visits? I feel so lost, honestly. I wish I could leave the court out of this but my ex has been the most difficult to work with. I suspect he’s not well and he seems in denial. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 If he's assaulting people and damaging property, call the police on him. Show your children that you won't tolerate this type of behaviour. Also if he's got a record of assault and vandalism it will be easier for you to obtain a protection order and supervised access to the children. Keep a diary of everything that happens, along with who witnessed these outbursts for court going forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NYDame Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 17 hours ago, mrs rubble said: If he's assaulting people and damaging property, call the police on him. Show your children that you won't tolerate this type of behaviour. Also if he's got a record of assault and vandalism it will be easier for you to obtain a protection order and supervised access to the children. Keep a diary of everything that happens, along with who witnessed these outbursts for court going forward. Yes I have always reported it to police and have documented many hostile exchanges. I haven’t reported to stalking however. I’m just hesitant because I don’t want my ex to lose his job and I want him to get his life together again and get mental help for his issues. Link to post Share on other sites
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