jaylow Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 I went to my boyfriend's house, with his permission, to get something of mine. While there, i found some drugs in a small canister in his clothes drawer. I was looking for 2 t-shirts that he had borrowed. At first, I just asked him casual questions like does he still do it ever, without telling him about what I had found. Then I asked him if he even still had old baggies or old substance sitting around and I think he said no, but "why do you ask...." Then....... I told him what I found, and he said that he had bought them from a friend to keep the friend from doing the drugs. I guess I believe him, but I still am suspicious because my BF used to have an addiction to this substance. He says he hates the drug and is adamently against it. He agreed to throw it away, even though he says I should have no say since it is none of my business. He kept saying that I shouldnt have snooped, that I invaded his privacy, and that I shouldn't know that the drugs were there, and that its none of my business. He also said he was not going to tell me about it had I not found the drugs. Shouldnt he have focused on answering all of my questions and making me feel better that I found illegal substance in his drawer? Instead he focused on the fact that I was snooping and cannot trust me. All of the focus was on the snooping....He was so angry and it caused major tension between us. he said he is not going to try and convince me he doesnt do it, because he "doesnt do it". We have dropped the subject and things seem OK now because I guess I trust him about not doing them. Does anyone else still think this is fishy, or is it "OK" Should I wonder about other stuff he might be hiding from me as well? Like girls calling, or ex's calling, etc. etc etc? HELP!
AndrewJ Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Definitely fishy! If i have baggies with substance in my draw there mine not because im baby sitting a freind. Sucks that u had to discover this.
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 1. Shouldnt he have focused on answering all of my questions and making me feel better that I found illegal substance in his drawer? 2. Instead he focused on the fact that I was snooping and cannot trust me. 3. All of the focus was on the snooping....He was so angry and it caused major tension between us. he said he is not going to try and convince me he doesnt do it, because he "doesnt do it". 4. We have dropped the subject and things seem OK now because I guess I trust him about not doing them. 5. Does anyone else still think this is fishy, or is it "OK" 6. Should I wonder about other stuff he might be hiding from me as well? 7. Like girls calling, or ex's calling, etc. etc etc? 1. Yes, but he found a way to avoid telling you the truth, by focusing on something else. 2. That's what people do when they need to manipulate their way out of difficult situations. Addicts are very, very good at this. They need to be in order to be able to maintain their addiction. 3. The only tension that is being caused is the tension stemming from his being caught lying and hiding his addiction. 4. You are enabling him. Look up 'enable' and 'drug addiction' on Google. 5. No, it is not OK. 6/7. It depends really - the lying that an addict does is a desperate attempt to keep himself immersed in his addiction. Unless he has similar addictive behaviors for other aspects of his life, there is no way of knowing if the lying he does in the throes of addiction will carry over into other aspects of his life. Maybe, maybe not. There's no real guarantee on that. Is what you found a chemically addictive substance like heroin or cocaine or methamphetamines or crack? If it is something that does not cause a chemical dependence like marijuana, then he could be simply defending not an addiction but his choice to continue wanting to do something that he doesn't really see as 'that bad'.
Author jaylow Posted October 9, 2005 Author Posted October 9, 2005 so you think that he is lying to me and it is his baggie? should I ask his friends that are users/ex-users what the deal is because I am worried? i said why didnt you throw it away, and he said because he was going to try and trade it or sell it for musical studio work for free. fishy?
leighmc Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 I don't know what kind of drugs you found but either way, it sounds fishy to me. If he wasn't lying, why wouldn't he have told you about it? Why would he still have the drugs in his drawer if he wasn't doing them? You really need to think about things and go with your gut instinct on this. He won't tell you the truth if he is using drugs and if you don't belive him, this will cause problems down the road. I've been there, I had a boyfriend who used drugs and lied about everything until I busted him doing them in our house. You need to do what ever you can to figure out if he is telling the truth because it will really mess up your life if he isn't.
Author jaylow Posted October 9, 2005 Author Posted October 9, 2005 so, borgia (and whoever else).... It IS DEFINITELY HIS? the only reason that I think it might not be his is that -his response was really quick (even though I think that details of the story later changed) -he eats a lot and is tired a lot, NOT usual signs that a person is on this MAJOR STIMULANT -he is "ADAMANTLLY AGAINST THAT SH$T So...... what do you think.....that I am in denial? Maybe I am!
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Regardless of what it is, or why its there - one thing is clear. He needs to get rid of them, and get rid of them ASAP. Even if he isn't doing them, a former addict keeping a stash is a VERY BAD IDEA.
AndrewJ Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 I wouldnt ask his freinds, they will think u are rather inquisitive and that will piss him off i'd imagine. Denial I dont think so however u seem rather anxious to find something suspiscious about your man.
Author jaylow Posted October 9, 2005 Author Posted October 9, 2005 i NEVER suspected i would find this! It was a total shock--I found them when i was looking for a tshirt in his drawer!
RecordProducer Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 i said why didnt you throw it away, and he said because he was going to try and trade it or sell it for musical studio work for free. OMG! Now he is becoming something even worse - a drug dealer! Doe sit really sound like someone who bought and will re-sell drugs is actually being honest to you? Maybe he is not using it but selling it!
kitkat826 Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 There is no reason for him to keep it around unless he plans on using it or selling it. I, personally, would be more worried about a former addict going back to using then I would over him trying to make some extra money, though obviously neither are good. I've dealt with a drug user before, and it was absolutely, hands down the worst experience of my life. I've also dated a couple of guys who have sold drugs, and it was no where near as bad, though I wouldn't have dealt with it long term. Either way, if he's lying to you, then its just not acceptable. Good luck dealing with it.
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