CarolineJolly18 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Met online. Everything seemed fine. Later they started to alienate themselves, won’t answer for 2 days straight and reappear again out of blue like nothing happened. I know they are going through stuff but I was just genuinely checking up on them if they are okay and I told them I do like them and I care what’s going on. I tried confronting them but they insist it’s not my business and I should stop caring so much. Very bipolar, one minute laughing, everything is fine, next second attacking me for being this and that. They made me feel guilty all the time, called me insecure and negative. Sometimes it seems they forget what they said and makes me question my own sanity. I told them they hurt me with words but couldn’t care less and said I should stop whining because it makes them feel bad and drains them down. I often end up apologising and it makes them even more angry. No remorse whatsoever. They said they are just being honest about stuff but I started doubting their honesty as they are using this word as an ammunition to protect themselves. Now, I don’t think this person is a psychopath, they seemed quite self aware, sane and reasonable however always playing a victim and I end up the bad guy. I am not speaking with this person anymore, we both mutually stopped, just wondering what the hell was it.
d0nnivain Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 I can't diagnose somebody 2nd hand over the internet but it sounds like somebody who was self centered. If somebody attacks you, makes their mistakes your fault, gaslights you or generally doesn't care about your perspective, dump them. You & this person are apart. Stay that way. You will be happier in the long run. 1 1
Author CarolineJolly18 Posted May 20, 2020 Author Posted May 20, 2020 13 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: I can't diagnose somebody 2nd hand over the internet but it sounds like somebody who was self centered. If somebody attacks you, makes their mistakes your fault, gaslights you or generally doesn't care about your perspective, dump them. You & this person are apart. Stay that way. You will be happier in the long run. Yeah they blocked me on social media later but left messaging available. They texted me few times after, again like nothing happened, but I stopped replying at all. I can honestly say it’s one of the most confusing dating cases I had. Not sure they might had bipolar disorder but I won’t diagnose it myself, just reflecting
Miss Spider Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Idk what’s wrong with him, but he sounds a bit unstable for sure. I mean it’s fine to disappear for a bit imo, some people need that, but it was also fine for you to check in and quite nice of you. His response was really inappropriate. And everything else too. Sorry they happened 1
poppyfields Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 1 hour ago, CarolineJolly18 said: They made me feel guilty all the time, called me insecure and negative. Sometimes it seems they forget what they said and makes me question my own sanity. This is called gaslighting, it's actually the exact definition - denying and rewriting history causing you to question your own sanity. It's manipulative and toxic and you should run as far away from any person who does this! Like yesterday! 3
Calmandfocused Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 (edited) Op did you actually meet this person? From your use of “they/ them” I take it you don’t want us to know if it’s a man or a woman- doesn’t matter either way, same advice applies. Do you have any idea what a toxic person/ relationship is op? Well, you’ll be pleased to know that you’ve just managed to save yourself going down a long, addictive road of pain and misery. Thank your lucky stars. Most of us aren’t lucky enough to get the clear preview you have. You’re right: Not a psychopath. Him/ her is more on the narcissist spectrum. Usually a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but in this case the wolf is exposed from the get go. And you apologised to that?? Crikey! My only regret is that you didn’t tell him/ her to go shove it before you went no contact. Never mind. Edited May 20, 2020 by Calmandfocused
Lotsgoingon Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Why in the world do you continue to have the slightest interest in this person? What else do they need to do to make clear that they are jerks? You're putting up with a ton of abusive treatment. Why?
The Outlaw Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Just leave him be. It's over and done with. It's hard to diagnose what the issue could be online.
smackie9 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Block/delete move on. plenty out there with less issues. 1
miranda561 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 3 hours ago, CarolineJolly18 said: Met online. Everything seemed fine. Later they started to alienate themselves, won’t answer for 2 days straight and reappear again out of blue like nothing happened. I know they are going through stuff but I was just genuinely checking up on them if they are okay and I told them I do like them and I care what’s going on. I tried confronting them but they insist it’s not my business and I should stop caring so much. Very bipolar, one minute laughing, everything is fine, next second attacking me for being this and that. They made me feel guilty all the time, called me insecure and negative. Sometimes it seems they forget what they said and makes me question my own sanity. I told them they hurt me with words but couldn’t care less and said I should stop whining because it makes them feel bad and drains them down. I often end up apologising and it makes them even more angry. No remorse whatsoever. They said they are just being honest about stuff but I started doubting their honesty as they are using this word as an ammunition to protect themselves. Now, I don’t think this person is a psychopath, they seemed quite self aware, sane and reasonable however always playing a victim and I end up the bad guy. I am not speaking with this person anymore, we both mutually stopped, just wondering what the hell was it. He/she sounds annoying. And yes on the narcissist spectrum 1
kendahke Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, CarolineJolly18 said: just wondering what the hell was it. someone you're well rid of. It was a lesson. If you're done with it, that means you passed it. Keep moving forward and you do the blocking so you're not constantly checking messaging for another dose of crazy. Edited May 21, 2020 by kendahke 1
MsJayne Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 If you encounter a person who leaves you feeling confused and uneasy like this, run. This is, as others have said, gas-lighting, and it's possibly the fave tool in the narcissists box of tricks. It's how they throw you off balance from the very beginning, while you're busy on the back-foot wondering what happened they're plotting their next assault on your psyche. Just my opinion, but I believe it should be legal to cull narcissists, shoot them or run them over, leave traps around the yard, anything, they should just be stopped. 2 2
Miss Spider Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 Just now, MsJayne said: I believe it should be legal to cull narcissists, shoot them or run them over, leave traps around the yard, anything, they should just be stopped. Hahaha xD 2
Logo Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 13 hours ago, CarolineJolly18 said: Yeah they blocked me on social media later but left messaging available. They texted me few times after, again like nothing happened, but I stopped replying at all. I can honestly say it’s one of the most confusing dating cases I had. Not sure they might had bipolar disorder but I won’t diagnose it myself, just reflecting Just another day at the online dating salon. Are you new to online dating? You'll be healthier not trying to understand the person you match with. If they are into you, you'll know and they will make it known, no games. Block him or her and move on.
Fletch Lives Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 (edited) We call them crazy. Edited May 21, 2020 by Fletch Lives
miranda561 Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 (edited) 12 hours ago, MsJayne said: If you encounter a person who leaves you feeling confused and uneasy like this, run. This is, as others have said, gas-lighting, and it's possibly the fave tool in the narcissists box of tricks. It's how they throw you off balance from the very beginning, while you're busy on the back-foot wondering what happened they're plotting their next assault on your psyche. Just my opinion, but I believe it should be legal to cull narcissists, shoot them or run them over, leave traps around the yard, anything, they should just be stopped. As someone who's been on the receiving end of a narcissist's warped self for four years..i agree they should be culled Edited May 21, 2020 by miranda561
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