Still_In_Love Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 So My ex and I have been apart for just over a month now. It has been painful to say the least. I took the advise of others here and did NC for a week. She would call leave a message to see how I am and I wouldn’t respond. She sent me an email last week and told me she still cares, but has to be selfish right now. I responded and told her I miss her, I am hurt, I would love another chance later, but calling wasn’t going to help either one of us. 3 days later, she called and did so for 4 days. Finally I asked to see her and told her how I felt about the break up. She got really angry because everything I said made her feel guilty yet she’s the one that broke up. I bumped into her twice on the weekend and it was very strained. I told her that I love her and I will never give up on her, smiled and walked away. She was also hanging out with a guy she works with. He doesn’t even know me but a few months ago, he lied to her about me saying I treated him like crap... I told her then to be cautious of him if this is what he is saying because I don’t even know him!! So I again will do NC and wait to see what will happen. I love her and I will always hope that we can eventually get back together! She is an awesome girl.
chocolate_boy Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 I say best way to use NC if you want someone back, is doing it from your half, if they contact you, do reply.. be very nice, but not pushy (no declarations of love, or miss you etc) act very happy, and that you're fine with their decision. Get this in your mind "I am very happy, I'd show you a good life if you're with me, but if you're not, that's your choice and I'm certainly fine without you". Just don't be too eager and have a life yourself. Just my 2c.
slubberdegullion Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Get this in your mind "I am very happy, I'd show you a good life if you're with me, but if you're not, that's your choice and I'm certainly fine without you". Excellent advice. Besides, she broke up with you, not the other way around, and she's the one who admitted to needing some time to be selfish. You don't need all this drama in your life. Don't contact her again. Ever. If she calls you, fine, but do not initiate contact. Good luck.
Author Still_In_Love Posted October 11, 2005 Author Posted October 11, 2005 Thanks for the advise, but....I have read many different interpretations on NC. Do I completely go with NC or answer her if she calls me? I'm not sure what is the best thing to do. I have had 2 calls this week already and I haven't answered at all. Does NC help me just move on or will it help with a second chance??
chocolate_boy Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 Thanks for the advise, but....I have read many different interpretations on NC. Do I completely go with NC or answer her if she calls me? I'm not sure what is the best thing to do. I have had 2 calls this week already and I haven't answered at all. Does NC help me just move on or will it help with a second chance?? I am in the same situation as you at the moment, been split up two weeks, it was her choice (we had an argument, i was a bit of an ass over it and she left me)... I did email her just after, but since then nothing... I got an email off her last week, I replied to it last night, nothing heavy just sort of "hey sorry didnt get back to you sooner, been really busy with xyz etc. hope you doing great too." a cheery happy vibe.. didn't say anything about her being bad for breaking up etc or talk about relationship etc. And I only replied to her and left it a few days before I did. So by all means, send her an sms a day later saying "hi sorry missed your call, hope everything is great x" or something. Just act like you're ok with the decision, and you understand and even sympathise with her for having to end it (yeah it was for the best, I agree... you're right I was insensitive) but only if they talk about the relationship. I think you have to swallow your pride in this circumstance. Otherwise, keep busy, keep happy, keep positive... be charming... you know your girlfriend and what turns her on... like with mine she found my ambition really sexy... so make out you're doing the things they liked you for if they ask. When people break up, they often don't get a second chance because you turn all depressed and needy, that isn't attractive and only reinforces their decision to stay away from you, as you cause them stress, and who wants that. It's not guaranteed, but I think it's the best shot you'll get.
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