Blueyes2791 Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 What exactly is considered smothering? I’ve been going out with my gf since July. We message each other every day. Not tons bc we also like to save talking for when we see each other. Today we were messaging each other back and forth like always. I sent her a message and she didn’t open it. So like about two hours later I sent her a snap and a message. Then about an hour later she responded to me then I responded to her then she responded back. So the fact that I sent her a couple messages before a response no biggie, rigjt? Like i never do this it was just today. I just want to make sure that’s not considered smothering. Like what exactly is smothering? Is that where someone is constantly calling and calling someone?
Miss Spider Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 (edited) ^^ awwww . Different people need different amounts of space. Healthy relationships seem to have a balance to them in that when one person pulls away or need space, the other senses it, respects it, and pulls back too. If this doesn’t happen it can make the other feel smothered Edited May 20, 2020 by Cookiesandough
miranda561 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Blueyes2791 said: What exactly is considered smothering? I’ve been going out with my gf since July. We message each other every day. Not tons bc we also like to save talking for when we see each other. Today we were messaging each other back and forth like always. I sent her a message and she didn’t open it. So like about two hours later I sent her a snap and a message. Then about an hour later she responded to me then I responded to her then she responded back. So the fact that I sent her a couple messages before a response no biggie, rigjt? Like i never do this it was just today. I just want to make sure that’s not considered smothering. Like what exactly is smothering? Is that where someone is constantly calling and calling someone? I wouldn't call that smothering since it was a one off . However if you increased the frequency of you contacting her while she isn't responding..then yes it would become like smothering. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 You know, you don't have to think about this too much. Just monitor for feeling like you HAVE to always talk to her. But you do want to find out if she is looking for less immediate back and forth. Best move: ask about that? ... don't ask "am i smothering you?" ... ask ... how often do you like to text and communicate?
Versacehottie Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 (edited) in the context as you said it, it seems fine. If it's a repeated thing, or the context is different or if she is acting like she doesn't want that level of contact or it's pressure to her, then yes it could be smothering. Not the one instance but a repeated pattern. I think if you are bf/gf then typically you shouldn't need to worry about this stuff--because you guys understand each other & enjoy being in contact, in theory. But if it's unbalanced or one person is fading, then it's not really the fact that you double texted but hmmm why doesn't she reply? Idk, people are busy and as long as you aren't "testing" her with those texts as in you haven't heard back so you make up some dumb reason to text...but if it's normal sharing back and forth, I don't think people should be so robotic and scorekeeping. Goodluck ps I forgot to say in my experience, guys are more needy to get a hold of you when you do not reply & will double text like f*ck it! But a girl needs to hold her horses more. It's not fair but that's what i've observed. Edited May 20, 2020 by Versacehottie
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 3 hours ago, Blueyes2791 said: What exactly is considered smothering? I’ve been going out with my gf since July. We message each other every day. Not tons bc we also like to save talking for when we see each other. Today we were messaging each other back and forth like always. I sent her a message and she didn’t open it. So like about two hours later I sent her a snap and a message. Then about an hour later she responded to me then I responded to her then she responded back. So the fact that I sent her a couple messages before a response no biggie, rigjt? Like i never do this it was just today. I just want to make sure that’s not considered smothering. Like what exactly is smothering? Is that where someone is constantly calling and calling someone? Smothering is what the recipient defines it as. 2
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