max3732 Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) I just checked on Match and there's this profile of someone I messaged years ago and she never responded that just popped up. Match deleted my previous message (due to time) so unless she remembers it she won't know I messaged her before. Her interests sounds really promising for me. Here's her profile: I love to draw or paint when I get the chance. I always have a book on hand. Video games, movies, quoting Disney films, some of my favorite things. I'm into Disney, still play video games occasionally on the weekends, and read a lot. So you'd think she would respond, but she didn't before. Last time I commented on her picture with a video game saying something like "That's really interesting you play video games. I still play them from time to time. What are you playing now" Since that didn't work I'm thinking of saying something about Disney or reading. Any other ideas for an opening line? Maybe a famous quote from a Disney movie and asking her if she knows where it came from? Women always complain about creepy or boring messages from guys. Anything else I can try? More generally if I come across someone with a ton of things in common should I mention just one common interest or say that it seems like we have a lot in common since I also like x,y, and z? Edited May 19, 2020 by max3732
Erik30 Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 38 minutes ago, max3732 said: I'm into Disney, still play video games occasionally on the weekends, and read a lot. So you'd think she would respond, but she didn't before. You might have that in common with her, but there's a pretty big chance she just wasn't attracted to you if she didn't reply before. You can send her another message, you have nothing to lose... but don't overthink it. She's not suddenly going to respond if only you would just write her "the perfect message..." Asking about something she mentioned in her profile is fine. If she ignores you again, move on to the next one 1
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) Ask her if you can hakuna her matatas or something. Just kidding. Don’t do that. But maybe something not so direct, but in reference to her profile content. Like Eric said, don’t overthink these things. I think when we overthink things, we tend to not to come off right. Not ourselves. Like do you really think it’s interesting she plays video games? Pretty much 90% of the population under 50 plays some sort of video game. I know you were just trying to ice break, but you could of implied you don’t think women or a woman like she seems to be could have that hobby. Okay I’m probably making you worry now. But don’t overthink it! Edited May 19, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Author max3732 Posted May 20, 2020 Author Posted May 20, 2020 30 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Ask her if you can hakuna her matatas or something. Just kidding. Don’t do that. But maybe something not so direct, but in reference to her profile content. Like Eric said, don’t overthink these things. I think when we overthink things, we tend to not to come off right. Not ourselves. Like do you really think it’s interesting she plays video games? Pretty much 90% of the population under 50 plays some sort of video game. I know you were just trying to ice break, but you could of implied you don’t think women or a woman like she seems to be could have that hobby. Okay I’m probably making you worry now. But don’t overthink it! She has a picture with a gaming console and a gaming t-shirt and I've never seen that in a dating profile before so I do think it's interesting. Maybe the Disney opening would be better. Your hakuna to her matata made me laugh, but you're right I shouldn't go with that. Normally I wouldn't post asking about what to send but I'm just so tired of sending out messages to women that seem like good prospects that get ignored. 1
miranda561 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 34 minutes ago, max3732 said: She has a picture with a gaming console and a gaming t-shirt and I've never seen that in a dating profile before so I do think it's interesting. Maybe the Disney opening would be better. Your hakuna to her matata made me laugh, but you're right I shouldn't go with that. Normally I wouldn't post asking about what to send but I'm just so tired of sending out messages to women that seem like good prospects that get ignored. Is your profile pic of you..as in does she know what you look like?. It could be she didnt think you guys were compatible then physically that is.. But try again you got nothing to lose i suppose
Author max3732 Posted May 20, 2020 Author Posted May 20, 2020 13 hours ago, miranda561 said: Is your profile pic of you..as in does she know what you look like?. It could be she didnt think you guys were compatible then physically that is.. But try again you got nothing to lose i suppose Yes, I have a clear picture, but what's frustrating is a lot of times these women don't even look at my profile. These women on the forum say they get all these creepy messages and guys just care about their looks and not who they are as a person and yet my messages about interests don't even warrant them to look at my profile half the time. I sent her a message I think was creative, but no profile view yet. There's another woman I saw that had a lot of common interests I messaged and still no response or profile view. The only place I find women that look interesting is with OLD and there's got to be something else I do to at least get them to look at my profile.
miranda561 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 27 minutes ago, max3732 said: Yes, I have a clear picture, but what's frustrating is a lot of times these women don't even look at my profile. These women on the forum say they get all these creepy messages and guys just care about their looks and not who they are as a person and yet my messages about interests don't even warrant them to look at my profile half the time. I sent her a message I think was creative, but no profile view yet. There's another woman I saw that had a lot of common interests I messaged and still no response or profile view. The only place I find women that look interesting is with OLD and there's got to be something else I do to at least get them to look at my profile. You dont find interesting women outside of old? That's a first. There are often people who have the app but dont get notified of messages. Or just leave it in the background maybe... Just be natural..don't sound like youre trying too hard to be different.if that makes any sense.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Just an FYI. Similar, current thread. I would definitely go with a message that shows that you have read her/his profile in some way. A couple of sentences with a question for prompted response.
Lotsgoingon Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Mention the specific Disney movies that you like ... I really like X, Y and Z. My favorite is x ... I love the story of ... . This woman is clearly artistic and intellectual. Beyond Disney, she's telling you also that she's a heavy reader. Question: are you a heavy reader? Do you draw and paint or have a strong interest in art? I'm not sure a video game focus will draw this woman in. She's telling you she's really artsy. I would bet she's not into FPS games.
lurker74 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 If you could become one character in one game, who/what would it be and why? Because I am a gentleman, I will go first. I would be Donkey Kong. Why? Because all Mario ever did was murder a bunch of mushroom heads and tried to save a princess who could have saved her damn self, thank you very much, so I might like throwing barrels at the guy! Or something like that. She may not be attracted to you and also women get 6,000 messages a day so it's hard to fight through the noise. Be witty (not saying I was above - you decide) and charming without being too much of a presumptuous jerk. 1 1
smackie9 Posted May 20, 2020 Posted May 20, 2020 Don't focus on the profile...talk to her like you don't know anything about her...what would you say then? What if you met her at a coffee shop or in public, what would be your approach?
Author max3732 Posted May 21, 2020 Author Posted May 21, 2020 23 hours ago, lurker74 said: If you could become one character in one game, who/what would it be and why? Because I am a gentleman, I will go first. I would be Donkey Kong. Why? Because all Mario ever did was murder a bunch of mushroom heads and tried to save a princess who could have saved her damn self, thank you very much, so I might like throwing barrels at the guy! Or something like that. She may not be attracted to you and also women get 6,000 messages a day so it's hard to fight through the noise. Be witty (not saying I was above - you decide) and charming without being too much of a presumptuous jerk. That sounds like a good approach! I sent messages to 2 women (including her) with messages that I think were decent and they've been online but still haven't even viewed my profile. Plus I've sent messages to other that are more typical (asking about something in a photo, or what kind of workouts they like or something) and some have viewed my profile but still not response. Wish I got 6,000 messages a day from women. I've got 20 "likes" and they are all from women outside my target demographic
Author max3732 Posted May 21, 2020 Author Posted May 21, 2020 20 hours ago, smackie9 said: Don't focus on the profile...talk to her like you don't know anything about her...what would you say then? What if you met her at a coffee shop or in public, what would be your approach? When I've attempted a cold approach in public I'll try and talk about something in the environment, like what do you think of that muffin or I'll comment on her shirt or something. I'm just so frustrated with this I can't take it anymore.
smackie9 Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 TBH it's not your approach it's your photos. Online is like shopping. It's all about the appeal of your looks. It's a "hey they look cute, I will respond." that's it. 1
Miss Spider Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 II like it, lurker. But yea I also dont respond if the message is chitty. How are you, what do you like, what’s your interests questions are an automatic nah from me But yes first and foremost rules 1 and 2. Be attractive/don’t be unattractive
Author max3732 Posted May 21, 2020 Author Posted May 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: II like it, lurker. But yea I also dont respond if the message is chitty. How are you, what do you like, what’s your interests questions are an automatic nah from me But yes first and foremost rules 1 and 2. Be attractive/don’t be unattractive If you put you're really into X and someone asks you about who you got into X or what you like about it, or something like that you won't respond? What can I do differently with my photos? I had a Match "dating expert" look at them and she said they looked good. Here's what I have... Profile photo is head shot inside. Then a full body pic outside, then tennis, another head shot,kayaking, biking, out in the snow, and one in a restaurant. You can see my clearly in all the pics. 1
Miss Spider Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 (edited) Yes.. but I should clarify that I might be somewhat different: It just seems kinda... boring? Like I’m on a interview. I guess if there’s absolutely nothing else to go on, but you have to remember that some guys get SUPER creative and clever/10 with their intro messages. To be drawn to a guy that asks me something generic on OLD, I mean he’d have to be reaaaalllly ....actually, no. No,even then I can’t back it. Hmm it’s hard to say. Also hard to say if ‘match expert’ ‘s opinion is credible. Do you think you can get a more diverse opinion? Perhaps on a site that allows profile rating and/or a photofeeler type deal. And check on the other profile content too Edited May 21, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Weezy1973 Posted May 21, 2020 Posted May 21, 2020 You’re making the classic OLD mistake of falling for a profile. Send a message, sure, but whether or not she looks at your profile doesn’t matter. For example, if she’s not attracted to you, or is getting emails from more attractive people, not much you can do. If you found her pics and profile interesting, chances are she’s getting lots of other interest too. 1
Author max3732 Posted May 21, 2020 Author Posted May 21, 2020 2 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Yes.. but I should clarify that I might be somewhat different: It just seems kinda... boring? Like I’m on a interview. I guess if there’s absolutely nothing else to go on, but you have to remember that some guys get SUPER creative and clever/10 with their intro messages. To be drawn to a guy that asks me something generic on OLD, I mean he’d have to be reaaaalllly ....actually, no. No,even then I can’t back it. Hmm it’s hard to say. Also hard to say if ‘match expert’ ‘s opinion is credible. Do you think you can get a more diverse opinion? Perhaps on a site that allows profile rating and/or a photofeeler type deal. And check on the other profile content too What kind of opening message would you suggest? All I usually have to go on are a few photos and a few sentences listing interests. That's why I've been asking about the interests. What can I do to make sound more exciting and less like an interview? For example, if she says she's into traveling, skiing, or restaurants, etc I just don't know what else to say. I know there are generic lines that sometimes people use, but I thought something talking about her interests would get more responses.
Author max3732 Posted May 22, 2020 Author Posted May 22, 2020 Here's the kind of thing I'm working with. I just found a profile with a picture taken from above where you can down just past her chest. Then her profile says this... Love to laugh, laid back, Looking for my true match in a partnership & team unit. I've had a three very long relationdhips. I haven't done online dating or much dating period She has "relationship" spelled wrong and has basic info like height, age, and race. I'm trying to figure out a message to send. What about something like this or is it too arrogant?... "Hey Her Name, To be honest I haven't done much dating either so we can both pretend we know what we're doing with this What's an ideal 1st date like for you?" I was also thinking of doing something with the typo but everything I try comes off as corny or mean.
Miss Spider Posted May 22, 2020 Posted May 22, 2020 21 hours ago, max3732 said: What kind of opening message would you suggest? All I usually have to go on are a few photos and a few sentences listing interests. That's why I've been asking about the interests. What can I do to make sound more exciting and less like an interview? For example, if she says she's into traveling, skiing, or restaurants, etc I just don't know what else to say. I know there are generic lines that sometimes people use, but I thought something talking about her interests would get more responses. Im not sure. I’m not creative and clever lolll ...I wish I still had my app so I could copy and paste. I think it’s better to make a witty observation about her profile or anything else.. after you’ve broken the ice you can continue the convo by asking questions. I mean, I guess it would be fine for most women, but just asking questions is not going to gain any brownie points beyond the initial attraction to your pics/profile. I also had video games in my profile, but I got tired of people asking which ones I play, so I just took it out. Just my 2 cent
Miss Spider Posted May 22, 2020 Posted May 22, 2020 (edited) 37 minutes ago, max3732 said: Here's the kind of thing I'm working with. I just found a profile with a picture taken from above where you can down just past her chest. Then her profile says this... Love to laugh, laid back, Looking for my true match in a partnership & team unit. I've had a three very long relationdhips. I haven't done online dating or much dating period She has "relationship" spelled wrong and has basic info like height, age, and race. I'm trying to figure out a message to send. What about something like this or is it too arrogant?... "Hey Her Name, To be honest I haven't done much dating either so we can both pretend we know what we're doing with this What's an ideal 1st date like for you?" I was also thinking of doing something with the typo but everything I try comes off as corny or mean. She loves to laugh? Ugh. I hate laughing. xD “Loves to laugh“ sounds like “say something funny and I will bang you” I guess what what you have is fine, though, too.. nothing wrong with it.... Edited May 22, 2020 by Cookiesandough
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, max3732 said: Here's the kind of thing I'm working with. I just found a profile with a picture taken from above where you can down just past her chest. Then her profile says this... Love to laugh, laid back, Looking for my true match in a partnership & team unit. I've had a three very long relationdhips. I haven't done online dating or much dating period She has "relationship" spelled wrong and has basic info like height, age, and race. I'm trying to figure out a message to send. What about something like this or is it too arrogant?... "Hey Her Name, To be honest I haven't done much dating either so we can both pretend we know what we're doing with this What's an ideal 1st date like for you?" I was also thinking of doing something with the typo but everything I try comes off as corny or mean. Okay...instead of "I haven't done much dating..." I'd say "TBH I haven't done much dating on here so..." The part about pretending you know what you're doing is cute. I would then ask "So where do you love to go on a first date? My all time favorites are: coffee, outdoor concert, community theater Alladin production and make fun of it to pretend we're not totally into it (or whatever), your turn." Just my thoughts as a woman. I would NOT try a neg about her spelling. Please God no. The reason I wouldn't ask the ideal date thing is she is kind of on the spot...ideal? Like...Paris? LOL? Too much pressure. I would leave it only as long as the above. Don't do cartwheels. Be a little lighthearted. Playful. If she doesn't think you're cute she will pass either way (be realistic, so would you). Good luck! Edited May 23, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Oh wait...she's a gamer...you could always list full on retro arcade as a favorite first date, do you have one near you? Just like...sliding in a reference instead of the generic oh, you game, that's interesting. Just a thought...
jspice Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Your pictures sound exhausting. This is not a criticism of you. I’m not someone who likes hiking or any of that other super active stuff. i exercise in a gym. I like it but I don’t want to constantly be out doing sports. when I see profiles with pictures like this I’ll pass. It’s great that they’re active but it’s not for me. You may be trying to match with someone who isn’t as super active as you seem to be in your pictures. stop trying to be the “perfect guy” for them. Just be yourself. The right girl will like you back. This overthinking is useless. you’re going to have to constantly worry about saying or doing the right thing even if she says yes to that first date.
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