What are the steps to making friends with someone? I have poor social skills)

[sam123456]

Hi all,

I have a condition unique to me where social speech and behavior doesn't come naturally to me, so I must learn it and mimic it.

My understanding is that the way to make friends with someone is to:

1. Smile and say "Hi"

2.  Ask what the other person's name is and tell them your name

3.  Make some small talk by asking some questions

Then what comes next?  I am at a loss.  Thanks!

Edited May 19, 2020 by sam123456
typo

[smackie9]

You have Aspergers? If you have trouble with social cues it will be more difficult to carry conversations with people.

Edited May 19, 2020 by smackie9

[Miss Spider]

Easiest is to find common interests

[sam123456]

29 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

You have Aspergers? If you have trouble with social cues it will be more difficult to carry conversations with people.

I don't think I have Asperger's.  I don't match all of the symptoms.

[Weezy1973]

4 hours ago, sam123456 said:

My understanding is that the way to make friends with someone is to:

1. Smile and say "Hi"

2.  Ask what the other person's name is and tell them your name

3.  Make some small talk by asking some questions

Then what comes next?  

Yes, this is a good start. It’s important to remember that this is just good socializing , but doesn’t guarantee a friendship. For something to develop from a friendly conversation to actually becoming friends, there usually has to be some sort of commonality like shared interests or a similar sense of humour.

 

Also it takes time. So it helps if you’re in environments where you see the same people over and over again (like school, church, sports team etc.). And it often starts with small talk and slowly progresses into more personal topics. Men usually end up bonding while doing stuff. Watching sports, playing darts, golfing, going to car clubs etc. Women usually just hang out to talk and can do anything. But everybody’s different so that may not apply.

 

Just best to take things slow. Some people you’ll bond with and some you won’t.