fred123 Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 has anyone asked a girl or guy out on a date to..... wherever and got a unenthusiatic response? what did u do? i recall I asked a girl on the third date if she was free fri or sat evening as id like to take her out to a nice dinner. her response was "can do". i was slightly taken aback by that. i mean if after 10 years of dating she said that then fair enough lol. anyone elses experiences or what they would do?
alphamale Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 if someone genuinely likes you they will want to be with you no matter the venue
basil67 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) I'd assume they aren't the kind of person who's effusive in manner. If you enjoy your time with them and can deal with their understated manner, book the date. Edited May 18, 2020 by basil67
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 5 minutes ago, fred123 said: has anyone asked a girl or guy out on a date to..... wherever and got a unenthusiatic response? what did u do? i recall I asked a girl on the third date if she was free fri or sat evening as id like to take her out to a nice dinner. her response was "can do". i was slightly taken aback by that. i mean if after 10 years of dating she said that then fair enough lol. anyone elses experiences or what they would do? I'm not sure I'd actually even respond to that, LOL. FWIW, I'm a woman. I need some enthusiasm, something that shows I'm taking to someone who isn't boring and meh...somebody with a little heat. Red blood. But I don't know the context, I don't know if she thinks you're only asking as a friend, or how you asked, or anything else. 1
elaine567 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 Is this the girl with the ex who is hanging around? My guess she is keeping Fri/Sat free for him hence the non committal reply, and if he doesn't show then she will go out with you.... Sorry 3
Miss Spider Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) Kind of. I asked someone on Tinder to meet in person a few years ago and he said that he was out of town or something like that and “maybe when I get back?” And I assumed he wasn’t interested and just moved on ... but then he messaged when he returned and we met up and ended up in a rship for a min but he was incredibly emotion/needy and I couldn’t deal. But to answer your question, I just kind of moved on in that...which is what I think you should do. I mean you asked her, seems like she said yes ... I just think if they want to they will and it’s not that hard Edited May 18, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
basil67 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 3 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: I'm not sure I'd actually even respond to that, LOL. FWIW, I'm a woman. I need some enthusiasm, something that shows I'm taking to someone who isn't boring and meh...somebody with a little heat. Red blood. Cultural differences would be at play here too. My comment about them simply being understated comes from my culture. Australians are notoriously understated in response. 1
Happy Lemming Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 12 minutes ago, fred123 said: her response was "can do". i was slightly taken aback by that. It is still a positive / yes answer to you asking her out. Don't read too much into it, take her out, have a nice date planned and see how it goes.
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, basil67 said: Cultural differences would be at play here too. My comment about them simply being understated comes from my culture. Australians are notoriously understated in response. Perhaps? Although the OP himself seems a bit taken aback by it or unsure how to handle it. So my feeling on this idea is, it's not the cultural norm for them. Edited May 18, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl 1
Malin889 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 I think wait until you actually go out and see what happens then! That may just be her; I wouldn't worry about it at all! 1
smackie9 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 Sounds like she said yes as a favor. Sounds platonic. 1
Author fred123 Posted May 18, 2020 Author Posted May 18, 2020 no just a past girl. was curious on peoples experiences and thoughts. a wide range of opinions interesting. no this was me asking for the THIRD date. yh it did put me off and is quite rude and i am put off women who give a really meh answer. it shows me theyre not that interested and in this particular situation i was proved right furthur down the track. also on an interesting note to prove my point on this. a few months after this i remember she asked me one evening " do you want me to call you ?" i replied "can do". she then said " that doesnt sound like you want me to" and got annoyed at my response. lol
Author fred123 Posted May 18, 2020 Author Posted May 18, 2020 4 minutes ago, smackie9 said: Sounds like she said yes as a favor. Sounds platonic. yes this was a situation in the past. just wanted to know what people would do if the person they were seeing responded in this way thats all
smackie9 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) Don't go out with them......save your money. But since you already asked her, make it a cheap date. Save the dinners for the ones that sleep with you. Edited May 18, 2020 by smackie9 1 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 19 minutes ago, fred123 said: no just a past girl. was curious on peoples experiences and thoughts. a wide range of opinions interesting. no this was me asking for the THIRD date. yh it did put me off and is quite rude and i am put off women who give a really meh answer. it shows me theyre not that interested and in this particular situation i was proved right furthur down the track. also on an interesting note to prove my point on this. a few months after this i remember she asked me one evening " do you want me to call you ?" i replied "can do". she then said " that doesnt sound like you want me to" and got annoyed at my response. lol Were you guys a serious item or just casually dating or had you become just friends or what? How were those first two dates, were you acting into one another?
FMW Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 I would probably have been straight forward and texted something like "hey, you don't sound too interested. Maybe another time?" Basically giving her the message to put a little more pep in her response or you were good with just moving on to someone else. 1
miranda561 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, fred123 said: has anyone asked a girl or guy out on a date to..... wherever and got a unenthusiatic response? what did u do? i recall I asked a girl on the third date if she was free fri or sat evening as id like to take her out to a nice dinner. her response was "can do". i was slightly taken aback by that. i mean if after 10 years of dating she said that then fair enough lol. anyone elses experiences or what they would do? Im that girl But you gotta look at the person as a whole and how she is generally. I tend to be very chilled as a person ..but also don't want to come across too overly excited..so end up playing it cool. I was asked to meet up by this guy recently. And my response was..."i dont mind" And like everyone on this forum was screwing at me like why did i respond in such an unenthusiastic way Edited May 18, 2020 by miranda561 1
miranda561 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 1 hour ago, smackie9 said: Don't go out with them......save your money. But since you already asked her, make it a cheap date. Save the dinners for the ones that sleep with you. so it should only be a dinner if the girl wants to sleep with him What kind of mentality is that 2
miranda561 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 1 hour ago, fred123 said: yes this was a situation in the past. just wanted to know what people would do if the person they were seeing responded in this way thats all Well the guy i was referring to i think is waiting on me to agree properly about meeting or instigate it i guess. Since now i ain't spoken to him in a month so i Guess hesnot sure of my intentions or is looking for reassurance
Author fred123 Posted May 18, 2020 Author Posted May 18, 2020 also on an interesting note to prove my point on this. a few months after this i remember she asked me one evening " do you want me to call you ?" i replied "can do". she then said " that doesnt sound like you want me to" and got annoyed at my response. this proves me point that even she doesnt like that response when a guy tells her this. but yet feels its ok to tell a guy that. hmm hypocrisy. miranda if at some point the guy turns round to you one day and says "i dont mind" u wont be too happy 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 1 hour ago, miranda561 said: Well the guy i was referring to i think is waiting on me to agree properly about meeting or instigate it i guess. Since now i ain't spoken to him in a month so i Guess hesnot sure of my intentions or is looking for reassurance The guy you said "I don't mind" to? Miranda...what did you expect? 1
Miss Spider Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, fred123 said: also on an interesting note to prove my point on this. a few months after this i remember she asked me one evening " do you want me to call you ?" i replied "can do". she then said " that doesnt sound like you want me to" and got annoyed at my response. Lol that’s a little passive aggressive, but I like it. She obv has some double standards going on there. Honestly, it’s not so much the lack of enthusiasm/low interest from them that would have put me off foremost in this particular case. It’s more that response is just...odd in my culture and it would lead me to conclude they were somewhat socially inept/lacking social etiquette, therefore not someone I’d wanna date. Edited May 18, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 1
miranda561 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 26 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: The guy you said "I don't mind" to? Miranda...what did you expect? I know i know im terrible. I always end up doing this though...and by the time i actually take initiative..they're like moved on already or say its too late The guy im referring to actually said i make it sound like hes an option and then i was like..everyones an option. Wth 1
miranda561 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 2 hours ago, fred123 said: also on an interesting note to prove my point on this. a few months after this i remember she asked me one evening " do you want me to call you ?" i replied "can do". she then said " that doesnt sound like you want me to" and got annoyed at my response. this proves me point that even she doesnt like that response when a guy tells her this. but yet feels its ok to tell a guy that. hmm hypocrisy. miranda if at some point the guy turns round to you one day and says "i dont mind" u wont be too happy You're right i probably wouldn't . No wonder he said im behaving like hes an option. So out of curiosity what happened to the girl?
Lotsgoingon Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 Yes her answer is a reluctant yes, and you were right to pick up disinterest.
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