healing light Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 16 hours ago, enigma32 said: You can take a break from your games for the 2/3 nights a week she comes over, and if you find that you cannot, then you have an addiction problem. This. 1
schlumpy Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 I'm going to throw you a bone here RS lets see if you run with it. Does your GF spend a lot of time on her telephone when she's with you? 1
Blind-Sided Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 23 hours ago, RSEJ said: But, let's say we've had a full day out somewhere together, gone somewhere nice etc. etc. when we come home and its late (like 10.30pm) I then want to play ps4 with my friends. Her response is " If you play ps4 - im going to go home, there's no point in me being here". I totally understand that if i play too much too often that it's not right - but after a day of being together cant we just do our own things next to each other for an hour or two? Am i being unfair? ......... What are your thoughts? OK... I'm a gamer... sort of. I love my games, but it doesn't dictate my life. (FYI, I'm 47) Just to give you an idea... my bedroom literally has one of every Nintendo system built from the handhelds to the consoles... and including the obscure ones. (Virtual Boy, GBA micro, Pokémon Mini, so on) So yes... it's more of a collection, but they all function, and the consoles are hooked up and ready. And my living room currently has 2 Switches, Ps3 and a PS4. And, the Xbox is in my oldest daughter's room. Oh... and I used my GameBoy Sewing Machine to make masks during the COVID issue. (For people who want to know... look up the Singer Izek) With all that said... PUT THE CONTROLLER DOWN AND SPEND TIME WITH YOUR GF !!! This would be a totally different situation if you were living together... but it sounds like you don't. So, any night that she is coming over... you just have to expect to spend time with her, and not with your games. She came to your place to spend time with you, and not read a book or watch you play. That will only work if your GF is a gamer also, or lived with you full time. So... you have a few options... 1) find a game you both like to play. Even if you are paying a co-op game... maybe bite the bullet, and buy a second PS4, and set it up for her. 2) Go on your date, and drop her off at home. I don't know if you two are intimate or not... but if you are... that may not go over well. (if she's looking for a little pickle tickle) 3) Break up, and find a gamer girl. My new GF is a semi gamer... but I'm sure she would get mad if we got back to my house, (even after a nice date) and I ignored her by turning on GTA or Rainbow, and put on a headset. But, we have played Portal together (PS3 game she liked) and a few times, we played the Nintendo DS handhelds against each other. (Mario kart, and Beat Agents)
Calmandfocused Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 You like playing games op? Here’s a suggestion: instead of playing a game on your PS4 before bed, why don’t you play a game with your girlfriend? A game that involves 2 people and getting your clothes off. You get my meaning? I expect that will make her much happier/ interested and she’ll be much more willing to play. Problem solved. 2
Ollie180 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 You see her 2-3 times a week. It’s 11pm. And you want to play games for ‘a couple of hours?’ .....Something just seems off there to me, that you’re not wanting to ‘take her to bed’ so to speak! (if I went to a girls house...at 11pm and she wanted me to keep myself busy/wait for her for a couple of hours while she read a book.....yeah, I’d want to go home too ) 1
poppyfields Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) I don't think telling the OP to stop playing and spend time with his gf will help - the issue seems to be he would rather play the game than spend time with his gf! Ok so he stops and spends the time with her, how does that help when all he will be thinking about is the game and how she is preventing him from playing it? That will cause resentment which is toxic in any relationship. OP, perhaps you should explore why playing the game is more pleasurable for you than spending intimate time with your gf after a day out. You only see her 2-3 nights per week as it is, that is 4-5 nights alone to play your game. Something's not jiving that your desire is more for playing your game than spending intimate time with her. Are you in love with her? Genuinely attracted? Happy? I don't like how she presented you with the ultimatum - stop playing, spend time with me or I'm leaving. THAT wasn't right either! Surely there are other less controlling ways to talk to you about her feelings. Is that typical of her? Anyway, my sense is you're not that happy in this relationshio, or with your gf, otherwise you would "want" to spend late night intimate time with her versus playing your game on the 2-3 nights you see her. Explore that. Edited May 18, 2020 by poppyfields
Kelliousme Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 This is also about incompatibility. I agree that she shouldn't threaten you and say she's leaving if you're going to play games while she's there, BUT I understand where she's coming from. You guys only spend 2-3 days or nights together, it truly sucks if you're immersed in the game while she's left there seeking your attention. It's a terrible feeling and it sucks even more that you'd rather play games than spend time with her. It also seems to me that you're more attracted to your PS4 than her. My advice? Let her go find a man who'd pick her over a console. You can try to find a girl who's also a gamer, who are you TRULY attracted to and want to be with. Your current GF seems like a chore to you. My SO and I are both gamers. After a long day we just want to sit at home and play games side by side even if we're not playing together. Perhaps that's what you're looking for. 1
elaine567 Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 She is perfectly entitled to say she is going home. She is a grown up and any adult is entitled to get themselves out of a situation that is no fun. Spending hours "waiting " for the game to finish in the early hours is no fun. You are taking her for granted. One day she will go home and she won't be coming back. If that is OK with you, then let her go and stop stringing her along. 2 1
snowboy91 Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 15 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: You two are not living together so your 2 or 3 days together are dates. She wants to share the time with you doing other things. So play the game when she's not with you. Do things you both like when she's with you. This. You've got quite a bit of time when you're not with her to play games, so the time you spend together should be focused (somewhat) on each other, or doing an activity to share. If you were living together, that's a completely different story - of course you would be entitled to play games a fair bit, although within reason (as in, don't let it interfere with the rest of the relationship). Her attitude toward gaming is a little worrying though. If she's against the entire idea of gaming then I can't see this ending well. Though she might have just been frustrated when she said she doesn't want you playing games ever. You may be better off with someone who will play games with you too.
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