RSEJ Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 Hi people gonna make this real quick My girlfriend doesnt mind when i play ps4 when i'm by myself - at all. But, let's say we've had a full day out somewhere together, gone somewhere nice etc. etc. when we come home and its late (like 10.30pm) I then want to play ps4 with my friends. Her response is " If you play ps4 - im going to go home, there's no point in me being here". I totally understand that if i play too much too often that it's not right - but after a day of being together cant we just do our own things next to each other for an hour or two? Am i being unfair? She literally says "I dont want you to play PS4 when im over - at all". I cut down when she was over a lot, yesterday i wanted to play after a day out (11pm) but she threatened to go home if i did. What are your thoughts?
Mystery4u Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 How old are you both? How often do you see each other/ does she come over to yours to spend the night?
schlumpy Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 After spending the day with her drop her off at her house and then go home and cozy up with that hot machine. 2 1
Author RSEJ Posted May 17, 2020 Author Posted May 17, 2020 49 minutes ago, Mystery4u said: How old are you both? How often do you see each other/ does she come over to yours to spend the night? We are both 27. She comes over about 2/3 times a week. Yes she comes over to spend the night
Author RSEJ Posted May 17, 2020 Author Posted May 17, 2020 5 minutes ago, schlumpy said: After spending the day with her drop her off at her house and then go home and cozy up with that hot machine. hah.......... ha
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 Your GF is right, the scenario you put forth makes her second fiddle as she was already at your house before you picked up the controller, so you choose the controller over her and she leaves.. good for her, she at least knows when she isn't being treated well and and enforces her boundary. 3 1
deepthinking Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 (edited) I have a problem with the "I dont want you to play PS4 when im over - at all" It is controlling. Had she just said how boring it was or how she feels amourous, okay, but she crossed a line. I think you know instinctively that the controlling was the problem, you just want somebody to tell you out in the open. Edited May 17, 2020 by deepthinking nervous
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, deepthinking said: I have a problem with the "I dont want you to play PS4 when im over - at all" It is controlling. Had she just said how boring it was or how she feels amourous, okay, but she crossed a line. I think you knew that the controlling was the problem, you just want somebody to tell you. How is asking that he not play controlling when as soon as he picks up the controller she is by herself in his house? Picking up the controller is down right rude when she is there to be with him, what is she to do ? just stare at a white wall while he stares at the screen ? Edited May 17, 2020 by Art_Critic 2 1
deepthinking Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Art_Critic said: How is asking that he not play controlling when as soon as he picks up the controller she is by herself in his house? Picking up the controller is down right rude when she is there to be with him, what is she to do ? just stare at a white wall while he stares at the screen ? She could read, bring a book along, seduce him, watch television, warm up the bed for them both.... Rude? Well, they are an item, so where rudeness is noteworthy in a formal work setting, when you are an item, sheesh, a formal apology belongs at work not at home [specially near bed]. Sorry, but I see a red flag. See who agrees with who. Edited May 17, 2020 by deepthinking
contel3 Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 lets assume your girlfriend was really spiritual. How would you feel if she spent two hours meditating with an eyemask and headphones on while you were at her house? She might have worded it wrong, but its kinda normal to feel dumb being invited somewhere to then be ignored. Would be different if you lived together, but I'm assuming you don't. 2
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 Quote She could read, bring a book along, seduce him, watch television, warm up the bed for them both.... Rude? Well, they are an item, so where rudeness is noteworthy in a formal work setting, when you are an item, sheesh, a formal apology belongs at work not at home [specially near bed]. Good luck with that.. seduce him..hahahaha... watch TV, he is on the screen playing games, should she watch TV on her phone ? I like contel's post above.. she must feel dumb to be invited to someones house to be ignored..
Emilie Jolie Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 46 minutes ago, RSEJ said: We are both 27. She comes over about 2/3 times a week. Yes she comes over to spend the night Hi RESJ Does the bold part not leave you 4/5 nights to yourself to play on your thing until your eyes pop? You're making it sound like spending the whole day with your girlfriend is some kind of heroic effort, I don't blame her for being pissed off at you. 3
smackie9 Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 Dude the day ain't over yet if she's not being dropped off at home...shame on you. I'm a gamer too, and I make sure it doesn't railroad over my relaitonship. My husband comes first and foremost. I don't look at it as "OK I gave you a wonderful day with me, I am entitled to some gaming" that's just b&^% $*&^ and I don't blame her for being upset like that. If you want an adult relationship with a lady, that lady should be your first priority. You are not 16, you are almost 30, time to get your priorities straight. 1 1
SumGuy Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 Have to agree with Emilie Jolie. I have nothing against counsel games, do believe those who play them are judged harsly (and unfairly) for playing them...the same rhetoric used around TV, and before that reading. However, if I am hanging out with someone watching them play a video game is deadly boring... I have seen people enjoy just watching but only when they are really, really into the game themselves. You are not weird though, it seems common (know women in their 20s and a guy in his 60s (in both cases married and successful to counter the inevitable stereotypes, along with many 20 something men)) who get so enthused they want to show you the game...i.e. watch them play. Nevertheless you are basically asking you girlfriend to entertain herself and be her own company while you play. For some that is fine, if she has things she likes to do there by herself, but if those things are not at your place or if she is an extrovert she would much rather be at her place where it is set up for her to do stuff on her own. She is certainly right then in those situations as to why should she be there when you are playing. After all, as said, it is only 2 or 3 nights a week, so I don't think if I understand the situation correctly she is being unreasonable. 1 1
BaileyB Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 Your argument has merit if you were living together, you would most definitely need your individual time. But considering you have 4/5 other days to stay in your pyjamas and play video games all day if you want, I think you should spend some time with your girl. If it happened occasionally, and you had spent the whole today together as you say, I wouldn’t be upset. But, if I came over to stay only 2/3 days and you wanted to play video games before bed... I wouldn’t be putting in the effort to come and stay at your house... what is the purpose if I’m going to be ignored? Just saying.
ShyViolet Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 I think your girlfriend is 100% right. You don't live together, and you said that she only comes over 2 or 3 times a week. That leaves you plenty of time to play your video games when she is not there. When she is there, you should be present and spend time with her. It's inconsiderate of you to play video games when she has come over to spend time with you.
Happy Lemming Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 If this PS4 gaming system is more important than another human being, then maybe its time to grow up and get rid of the PS4. Last time I played a video game I was 14, then I became interested in girls. They were more fun to play with then a wittle ray gun shooting space aliens. 1
Miss Spider Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 (edited) Dump her so you can play, obv. No seriously, as someone who games a lot, I don’t know why you’d want her there breathing over your shoulder anyway.. She seems bored by it and would be tapping her foot. I can see if you were living together “doing your own thing” at times would be necessary and she’d have her stuff there, so stuff to do. but if she’s specifically coming over to your house to see you, she probably wants your attention. If you’re a casual gamer, I don’t understand why it would be difficult to just do it when she’s not around. If you really want to game when she’s there, perhaps buy a a co op and hand her a controller. It’s not cool to let her sit there bored ... Edited May 17, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Miss Spider Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 (edited) Oh and I recommend “A Way Out”. It’s a decent couch co op for couples imo Edited May 17, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Woggle Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 This is why it is good to be with a woman who loves games. She actually got me back into it after I put it down for over a decade. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 Why do you need her to sit next to you while you're playing video games??? It probably makes her feel like the babysitter. Just play and have your downtime and then get together at other times.
Andy_K Posted May 17, 2020 Posted May 17, 2020 Can't give you much sympathy here... if you're only seeing her 2-3 nights a week, that's time you spend doing things together. If there's a game you both play/watch that's one thing, but if you've invited her over, what exactly do you expect her to do while you're gaming? Check her facebook? If you're living together you should expect to have time to do your own thing like this, but if not then you need to be mindful that her time is valuable too 3 1
MsJayne Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) There is something intensely irritating about being around someone who is completely absorbed in a computer game. Different if you live together and this is your hobby and she's OK with that, but I won't even tolerate someone checking their Facebook page if they're with me, much less put up with them playing some juvo game while I sit on the couch bored out of my mind. For me that would just be a sign that I needed to throw their game control into the nearest sewer drain and then pretend I haven't seen it. Edited May 18, 2020 by MsJayne 1
Miss Spider Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 ^ you take that back right now. But yes, and it’s just as irritating to have company that is obviously bored when you’re trying to get into a video game. It’s sort of strange you want your gf to be there while you’re playing. When you’re absorbed in a video games you’re usually at your most unattractive(unwashed hair, pallid skin, Cheeto dust encrusted fingers)Maybe join twitch or YouTube and do let’s plays if you want people to watch..
Fletch Lives Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 16 hours ago, smackie9 said: Dude the day ain't over yet if she's not being dropped off at home...shame on you. I'm a gamer too, and I make sure it doesn't railroad over my relaitonship. My husband comes first and foremost. I don't look at it as "OK I gave you a wonderful day with me, I am entitled to some gaming" that's just b&^% $*&^ and I don't blame her for being upset like that. If you want an adult relationship with a lady, that lady should be your first priority. You are not 16, you are almost 30, time to get your priorities straight. - There you go, from a gamer girl and relationship expert. It's not controlling if she likes you and it's for good reasons. She just stated what she does not like. She's helping you hold the relationship. You two are not living together so your 2 or 3 days together are dates. She wants to share the time with you doing other things. So play the game when she's not with you. Do things you both like when she's with you. Relationships take work, sacrifice, and discipline. You can't just be selfish and do whatever you want all the time. Grow up.
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