Tree lover Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 I’ve not been here for a long time. I share a five year old son with a man that has beaten me until I have almost been killed. He ambushed me after our son was born and I had hid from him. he was awarded supervised visits by a judge when our son was an infant. in recent years, his visits have become unsupervised. I always go with our son though. Dad can finally behave himself when I’m around, and that is progress. our visits have stopped due to Coronavirus. This is hard on our son. He loves his dad. They do video chat with each other, but my son is beside himself because his dad is a fun dad during the visits. How can I console my son over this? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 Sorry for your situation. My first question would be about your lockdowns. Are you in a place where it's forbidden for your son to visit his father in any way, shape or form? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree lover Posted May 17, 2020 Author Share Posted May 17, 2020 2 hours ago, basil67 said: Sorry for your situation. My first question would be about your lockdowns. Are you in a place where it's forbidden for your son to visit his father in any way, shape or form? He can through video calls, but he is high risk and so we made the decision that he and I would isolate for as long as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree lover Posted May 17, 2020 Author Share Posted May 17, 2020 39 minutes ago, Tree lover said: He can through video calls, but he is high risk and so we made the decision that he and I would isolate for as long as possible. Our son is also hard of hearing so I think that makes things a little more difficult for him Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 Has dad been on lockdown too? Is there a real threat of being sick? are you, your son, or ex immune compromised? OK... look at it this way... there are families out there who have a parent who has to work, but they are all in the common "Germ Circle" as I've been calling it. My exW has to work everyday, but she has been taking precautions... so our kids are still going back and forth since none of us have a medical history that would cause us danger if (God forbid) we would get sick. Don't get me wrong... in public, I still take all precautions, and wear a mask... wash... hand sanitizer... even change my cloths if I go to a grocery store. So... if your son is really having a hard time... I would just let him visit if you are all healthy. Heck... you can all get checked beforehand if you want. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 5 hours ago, Tree lover said: He can through video calls, but he is high risk and so we made the decision that he and I would isolate for as long as possible. Since somebody is high risk, your son will have to contend with the video calls. Life is hard. Everybody doesn't always get what they want. At least your son has the video. In an age past, if his father was off fighting a war, all your son would get would be some letters. It's hard to disappoint a child but better he should be sad now then dead later. With this new Kowalski you can't take a chance with a high risk person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree lover Posted May 17, 2020 Author Share Posted May 17, 2020 28 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Since somebody is high risk, your son will have to contend with the video calls. Life is hard. Everybody doesn't always get what they want. At least your son has the video. In an age past, if his father was off fighting a war, all your son would get would be some letters. It's hard to disappoint a child but better he should be sad now then dead later. With this new Kowalski you can't take a chance with a high risk person. All I’m really looking for is ways to console him through this. He’s five. He’s got a hard time understanding it. I think why it’s so hard is he’s struggled to hear his dad at times with his condition. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 Understood but be strong & don't give in to the temporary emotion. Can you organize activities for the two of them? Can they make ice cream sundaes together or something? I'm not great with kids. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Tree lover said: All I’m really looking for is ways to console him through this. He’s five. He’s got a hard time understanding it. I think why it’s so hard is he’s struggled to hear his dad at times with his condition. Headphones or maybe a better quality set so that you can up the low or the high tones depending on the type of deafness he has.. Maybe he and his Dad can learn some sign language together as a game to improve communication. Do you have any support workers, or there may be some charities for the deaf that can help you out, maybe they might have some ideas for him. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 18, 2020 Share Posted May 18, 2020 You can’t make it any better. As another who is missing loved ones I agree - it is really hard. We have been together, we go for walks and visit in the backyard but stay 6 feet away. It is really hard. It’s just not the same. My little niece snuck over the other day to give me a hug. Thankfully, we haven’t had any positive tests in the last week and we are all young and healthy... so, I didn’t pull away. But, it’s hard when you can’t play or love the way you used to do. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 18, 2020 Share Posted May 18, 2020 On 5/17/2020 at 10:31 AM, d0nnivain said: Understood but be strong & don't give in to the temporary emotion. Can you organize activities for the two of them? Can they make ice cream sundaes together or something? I'm not great with kids. We played a board game together on FaceTime. It wasn’t the same, but my niece told everyone she had “so much fun!” It’s better than nothing. Get creative! Have them write letters to each other. Or, watch the same movie together on FaceTime. Or, read the same book and talk about it. Or, collect cards together. Or, just meet for a walk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree lover Posted May 18, 2020 Author Share Posted May 18, 2020 On 5/17/2020 at 9:31 AM, d0nnivain said: Understood but be strong & don't give in to the temporary emotion. Can you organize activities for the two of them? Can they make ice cream sundaes together or something? I'm not great with kids. The sundaes are a great idea. Thank you. I’ll bring it up to his dad for their Skype 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree lover Posted May 19, 2020 Author Share Posted May 19, 2020 On 5/17/2020 at 6:08 AM, Blind-Sided said: Has dad been on lockdown too? Is there a real threat of being sick? are you, your son, or ex immune compromised? OK... look at it this way... there are families out there who have a parent who has to work, but they are all in the common "Germ Circle" as I've been calling it. My exW has to work everyday, but she has been taking precautions... so our kids are still going back and forth since none of us have a medical history that would cause us danger if (God forbid) we would get sick. Don't get me wrong... in public, I still take all precautions, and wear a mask... wash... hand sanitizer... even change my cloths if I go to a grocery store. So... if your son is really having a hard time... I would just let him visit if you are all healthy. Heck... you can all get checked beforehand if you want. My son is high risk and his dad is still out in public. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tree lover Posted May 19, 2020 Author Share Posted May 19, 2020 On 5/17/2020 at 10:17 AM, elaine567 said: Headphones or maybe a better quality set so that you can up the low or the high tones depending on the type of deafness he has.. Maybe he and his Dad can learn some sign language together as a game to improve communication. Do you have any support workers, or there may be some charities for the deaf that can help you out, maybe they might have some ideas for him. My son knows a little ASL. He’s so little we’re still working on it. I’ve been taking classes since he was about a year old and I found out he was HOH. His father refuses to learn sign because he blames me. Hopefully me saying “he can’t hear you “ every so often will get him to change his mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Erika Smith Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Very sad to hear that The current situation has taken a toll on us on many different levels. I recently switched my daughter to full time online school, although she enjoys her classes and everything but really misses her friends. They do facetime at times but it's not same like in person. However, in your case it's even harder as it a son missing his father Link to post Share on other sites
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