Miss Spider Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 I don’t agree that wanting to be alone for a few days means you’re not into your partner. Maybe not happy with a key element like being able to take time for yourself without having to excuse or justify it and have them feel pushed aside. 3
stillafool Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said: I don’t agree that wanting to be alone for a few days means you’re not into your partner. Maybe not happy with a key element like being able to take time for yourself without having to excuse or justify it and have them feel pushed aside. This would be a good reason for me to end it. I couldn't handle the stress. 1 1
Miss Spider Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, stillafool said: I definitely think he is using his mom as an excuse to get some alone time for whatever reason. I doubt very much if he said "Mom do you mind if OP drops by for a little while, I need to see her and it would cheer me up" she would deny him. If she wants to spend the night the mother may not be ready for that due to circumstances. I agree. I doubt that it really would be an issue if he asked that, but I don’t even get why he would ask that? Mom says only want family there...he saw her for 4 nights last week... he’s FaceTiming with her...talking to her..... he’s probably fine with a few days alone. I understand OP wants to be there/wants more time with him right now, but I didn’t she expressed she feels pushed aside to him so he prob doesn’t see an issue? Edited May 18, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Malin889 Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 Yes, I too immediately thought he was using the mom as an excuse.
poppyfields Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: That it’s an issue at all is kind of absurd to me, but this opinion and poppyfield’s intuitive feeling is not uncommon of people in relationships, at least in my experience. When you have to take some time without them, they start to get suspicious and think something is not right, youre pushing them away, lost interest, making excuses, even if they let it go. It’s completely unhealthy to me with how I tend to need space occasionally, even when I care deeply for a person. Would you believe me cookies if I told you I am the same as you? My bf and I are long distance for the next couple of months, but when he's home, we both need space from time to time, I completely understand that! It's this particular situation I sense something is seriously off. For many reasons. I mean he wouldn't even allow her to stop over for 5 minutes to bring flowers? His girlfriend of 3+ years? Come on. I am not buying any of this. I'm even questioning now if his grandfather really did die, and before you go off on me, off hand I can think of two guys who used the "death in the family" excuse to take space from their girlfriends because they felt suffocated and boxed in, needed space and didn't want to be harassed about it from their girlfriends. I also read a post in another forum from a woman who said her bf told her his uncle died, but he couldn't keep his story straight, she called him on it and he admited to lying, because he needed space and didn't want to hurt her feelings or piss her off by telling her the truth. I am NOT suggesting OP's bf is lying about that, but something is not jiving. And I think he is on his way out. Like I said I hope for OP's sake, my gut is wrong this time. Edited May 19, 2020 by poppyfields 3 1
stillafool Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 What you could do OP is attend the funeral and give your condolences to the entire family at that time. Of course that depends if it's an open or closed funeral because of this virus. 1
poppyfields Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 28 minutes ago, stillafool said: What you could do OP is attend the funeral and give your condolences to the entire family at that time. Of course that depends if it's an open or closed funeral because of this virus. Or ask your bf for the name of the funeral parlor so you can send flowers there, he can't possibly object to that, now can he? Let us know his response. 1
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 uhhhh guys? am I the only one here that thinks that sounds clingy as hell..haha...I mean if she's genuinely wants to give flowers to his deceased granddad, then that's totally fine, but that doesn't seem like that's what that's about and I don't think he will believe that's what it's about. Even if he is lying to get space...it's because he wants space xD. Reminds me of an ex who drove by my house because I told him I was sick a few days and I cut off and he "Wanted to make sure I was ok" .... 1
simpycurious Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) I think the flowers could simply be out of common courtesy.....I would do that even if I was not into someone just an etiquette thing with me. Edited May 19, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
poppyfields Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) It's clingy to send flowers to the funeral parlor? How would that be invading his space? Assuming it's all true, and if not, I would imagine he will object to that too, just like he objected to OP bringing flowers to his for 5 minutes. Edited May 19, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 The action of sending condolences itself not...but the motive for doing it in this scenario I think is a little much, and probably a little invasive... But I noticed op has not returned in a couple of days. They might be glued back together again now and all Is right in the world...
poppyfields Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: The action of sending condolences itself not...but the motive for doing it in this scenario I think is a little much, and probably a little invasive... I think sending flowers to the funeral home is a lovely gesture and if he felt imposed upon by that, their problems go deeper than I originally thought. Jmo. But there would be another motive behind my asking. I am questioning whether or not this story is even true, per my previous post. And if it's not, watching him squirm trying to find his way out. That is how the poster on the other forum discovered her bf was lying, he gave her the name of the home, the OP called and they had no funerals scheduled for his uncle! In fact they had no funerals scheduled at all, they were under renovation! Anyway, I'm sorry I'm being a brat now I know. I am going to now assume it's true and hope she and her bf have worked things out! Edited May 19, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) 19 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I am going to now assume it's true and hope she and her bf have worked things out! Same... but I still don’t see why there was a problem to work out, much less one that required so much suspicion/PI work Edited May 19, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
poppyfields Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 18 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Same... but I still don’t see why there was a problem to work out, much less one that required so much suspicion/PI work Just got a bad (weird) vibe from it, that's all. Prolly goes back to some jerk I dated way back when who was a pathological liar. I'm over it now. 1
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) Ohhh I think I’ve dated a few too... this one isn’t pinging for me , but, Poppy, your intuition is not to be ignored.. He might be up to somethin Edited May 19, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
fred123 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 On 5/19/2020 at 9:17 PM, Cookiesandough said: uhhhh guys? am I the only one here that thinks that sounds clingy as hell..haha...I mean if she's genuinely wants to give flowers to his deceased granddad, then that's totally fine, but that doesn't seem like that's what that's about and I don't think he will believe that's what it's about. Even if he is lying to get space...it's because he wants space xD. Reminds me of an ex who drove by my house because I told him I was sick a few days and I cut off and he "Wanted to make sure I was ok" .... wait. ur ex bf drove past ur place cos u were sick for a few days and he wanted to make sure u were ok? is that not a sweet thng? my ex was will once and i went round with chicken soup 1
Miss Spider Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) True... but not the way he did it. First, he wasn’t bringing me soup. He offered, but I’m going to be real with you — I wasn’t really sick. I was hiding from him because he was extremely clingy, God love him. I told him I was good.. just needed time in bed.. was and he said okay get better. I didn’t find out he drove by until after our breakup. I told him Im sorry it’s over and I would appreciate if he didnt come by school or home unannouced because there’s nothing to discuss and he said “wtf i only went to your school unannouced one time to bring flowers and I’ve only driven by your house when you were sick to make sure you were okay, but I didn’t see your car. Stop acting like I’m a stalker or something” Edited May 23, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
fred123 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 20 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: True... but not the way he did it. First, he wasn’t bringing me soup. He offered, but I’m going to be real with you — I wasn’t really sick. I was hiding from him because he was extremely clingy, God love him. I told him I was good.. just needed time in bed.. was and he said okay get better. I didn’t find out he drove by until after our breakup. I told him Im sorry it’s over and I would appreciate if he didnt come by school or home unannouced because there’s nothing to discuss and he said “wtf i only went to your school unannouced one time to bring flowers and I’ve only driven by your house when you were sick to make sure you were okay, but I didn’t see your car. Stop acting like I’m a stalker or something” so he wasnt actually a stalker? thats harsh tho. some girls like it and think its sweet if a guy drops by unannounced and gives them flowers
simpycurious Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 2 hours ago, fred123 said: so he wasnt actually a stalker? thats harsh tho. some girls like it and think its sweet if a guy drops by unannounced and gives them flowers It's obvious that he made her feel uncomfortable which is NEVER acceptable. 1
fred123 Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 9 hours ago, simpycurious said: It's obvious that he made her feel uncomfortable which is NEVER acceptable. how so?
Recommended Posts