Content Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 (edited) How has getting molested affected you into adulthood? What are things that you’re trying to stop doing but do because of the trauma? Has it affected in any way the type of partner you go for? Do you never feel the need to disconnect from people for periods of time where you can’t answer calls or texts from friends? Edited May 16, 2020 by Content Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 I hope that people who have had this happen to them will seek counseling - a counselor can teach you how to manage and make your life a smoother ride. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 Counseling helps a lot but it’s a lifelong process, all the counseling in the world can’t make it un-happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Content Posted May 16, 2020 Author Share Posted May 16, 2020 34 minutes ago, amaysngrace said: Counseling helps a lot but it’s a lifelong process, all the counseling in the world can’t make it un-happen. If you don’t mind me asking how does it still affect you day to day and in relationships wheter intimately or with friends? It didn’t happen to me but to somebody very close to me so I’m trying to understand her more and be sensitive to her and her plight because she means a lot to me. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 17, 2020 Share Posted May 17, 2020 15 hours ago, Content said: If you don’t mind me asking how does it still affect you day to day and in relationships wheter intimately or with friends? It didn’t happen to me but to somebody very close to me so I’m trying to understand her more and be sensitive to her and her plight because she means a lot to me. Hi, I can tell you are making a solid effort... but let me put into your mind the very realistic possibility that reactions TO past abuses are very often the opposite to what logical thought processes would suggest. It is challenging to wrap your thoughts around that crazy-seeming reality... but I hope that you will allow your thoughts to allow for it IF this person or others confide similar details in you. IF, for example, someone has known a lifetime of having been sexually abused by the clown who came to entertain kids at the victim's birthday party every year, and IF that clown had a liking for patting the victim's belly with one hand as the other hand did unspeakable things to the victim... then it becomes considerably possible and very realistic that this same, long-ago victim may know an adult life where they have an odd-seeming liking for having lovers dress in a clown suit and pat their belly during sex. The results of such a (hopefully-so-unlikely-that-it-doesn't-get-too-near-to-somebody's-reality-who-reads-this) early trauma can trend strongly in EITHER direction. (the victim of early abuse may either hate anything to do with the parameters of what they experienced, OR they may be oddly attracted TO various aspects of what they experienced... for it was, in many cases, their very first impression of sexual experiences) I sense that you have yourself very geared-up to listen... and I know that you want to be compassionate... and I'm sure that you WANT with all of your being to be able to somehow be ready for whatever the person is inspired to confide... but keep your mind and thoughts extra OPEN in case the causes and effects don't seem to logically fit together. It doesn't have to be logical... even though when you go back home and (think/dwell on what you just heard)... your mind will be intent upon applying logic where perhaps it might not be helpful in relation to the details. When the person confides in you... go home and read all you can about the causes and effects of sexual abuse. That will perhaps best help you in maintaining their trust. Link to post Share on other sites
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