toneman Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 I saw my ex gf (2 yr relationship) for the first time since we broke up (4 months ago) at a mates party the other night. I played it pretty cool and wasn't needy or anything. She seemed like she wanted to talk to me and I noticed her looking at me a few times when I was talking to another girl. At the end when she left she came and told me to call her, I said no, you call me if you want to speak to me. Apparently she got a bit ****ty and stormed out. Anyway, I didnt expect her to call but 2 days later she did and I told her I couldn't talk cause I was going to the movies with a mate (which I was) and I said i'll call you when it finishes and she said yeah whenever I want just to catch up. Basically, I still have feelings for her and I want her back but I don't know what I should do. Do you guys have some advice? Should I call her back, should i not? (we have been pretty much no contact for the 4 months)
Razorback05 Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Yeah, call her back but keep it short if she doesn't lead the conversation. Better yet, call her when there's a pretty high chance she won't be able to pick up (work, etc..) and leave a short message. She'll then have to call you back...if she doesn't lead the conversation again, keep it short. Rinse and repeat. The bottom line here is to keep her on the pursuit. If she doesn't pursue, then keep on moving.
legrtova Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 If you think there is a chance of you two being together ( I dont' know why you broke up or who was the dumper), then I agree with making her to pursue. If you don't think there is future, then NC is the only way to go if you still have feelings for her. If you keep in touch and it goes nowhere, it might throw you back to those ugly emotional days you went through after the break-up.
hooghie Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 If you're going to call- I think you should wait a few days. She probably just wants to make sure that you still want her- even if she says she misses you and wants you back- it's most likely not going to work. Girls can't stand it when a guy they break up with moves on- we seem to want him to be in love with us forever. Whatever you do DON'T BE WEAK on the phone. DON'T let her know that you miss her or want to get back together. Act like you've moved on and you're happy and hope the same for her. Try and keep it brief. If she is even thinking about being with you again, this will only make her want you more. If you act needy/weak- you'll give her the satisfaction she wants.
Drivetildriven Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Hooghie, I like your advise, it might even apply to my own situation. My woman of three years broke up with me 4 months ago. She gave me the typical crap about how great I was and how I'm going to find someone who's right for me and how some girl out there doesn't know how lucky she is. It was all very pitiful. Anyway, two months ago a friend of mine told her that I was dating again and doing great. My ex's reply was to say how awesome it was that I was dating again, etc. She even sent me an email telling me how great it was and how happy she was for me that I was dating again. Is she serious??!! She's honestly happy that I'm dating again?? She puts on a front like she is completely over me and has completely moved on (she's 24 and apparently loves being single right now). However, I've got a strong feeling that if she saw me out with another woman, she'd be very jealous. Toneman, I won't ignore her completely, doing most of the work. If she really want's you back, you'll know.
hooghie Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 She even sent me an email telling me how great it was and how happy she was for me that I was dating again. Is she serious??!! She's honestly happy that I'm dating again?? She puts on a front like she is completely over me and has completely moved on (she's 24 and apparently loves being single right now). However, I've got a strong feeling that if she saw me out with another woman, she'd be very jealous.QUOTE] I doubt she is serious about being happy for you and even if she is- she secretly wants you to want her more and drop your current girl in a heartbeat if she were to give you chance. It doesn't mean she wants you though- she wants you to want her. I left my ex husband and he was crushed (trust me, he deserved it), and I don't have ANY feelings for him anymore and wouldn't be jealous if I were to see him with another girl, BUT- I wouldn't want him to think 'I'm so glad she (me) left me because this girl is so much better.' I want him to think 'that girl (me) was the best I could ever have and I screwed it up and will never love another girl like I loved her'
Drivetildriven Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Thanks hooghie. I'll bet your right. I don't understand why girls think that way. Toneman, I meant to say don't ignore her completely. Keep her doing most of the work, at least initially.
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