Miss Spider Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 1 minute ago, Emilie Jolie said: Yeah maybe ironpony should have specified what 'high number' means to him? I've not seen any compelling argument in real life that has pushed me to believe a high / low number of partners is good or bad in itself so I don't get the argument at all. Don't mind me That’s awesome... means you have more options 1
Miss Spider Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 (edited) 17 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: No, it does not *need* to be bad but when it starts getting down to "Well so okay...what if it's exactly 75...what if it's more...what if it's four per month...for X months for X years and then a pause of X time v. X per week but ongoing for X years or...or......" come on. The specifics of some of the "hypothetical" situations on this thread beg for pushback and ultimately end up being basically just a setup...to prove us all wrong in the end anyway... So I mean yeah okay...you're right...great point...whatever on earth the point even may be anymore. I guess? I'm out. You guys have way...and I mean way more energy than I. Nooo I really like your thoughts, Cali !!! Drink an energy drink and come back and argue in circles about our sexual preferences with us Edited May 15, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said: That’s awesome... means you have more options I think this was what most of us said at the very beginning...that we don't even know how many women our partners had been with and we didn't care...so a big number of past partners probably wasn't an attractant... ...we were quickly informed how wrong we almost certainly were and then pinned down by impossible circular specifics Time to wave the white flag 1 1
Miss Spider Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 (edited) And btw we make generalizations and assumptions based on past experiences all the time in dating and there’s nothing wrong w it. Just because a guy hit his last gf doesn’t mean he will 100% do it again... doesn’t mean I want to date him .. Edited May 15, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Emilie Jolie Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 Wait what? You wouldn't say a good guy is desirable??Curiouser and curiouser... I feel like I've entered the twilight zone where good is not necessarily good and where we are, in fact, just numbers. 5 minutes ago, enigma32 said: I wouldn't necessarily say that a good guy is one with valuable, desirable traits. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 3 minutes ago, enigma32 said: No, because, IMO, the traits that make someone a good guy aren't exactly what attracts the ladies. Looks, charm, and chemistry trump all in the game of attraction. A guy could have those traits in spades and be a complete douche. In fact, they often are. I guess I'm not out after all...Looks, charm and chemistry by no means overwhelmingly equate to "douche"...I feel like that's a kind of a sour grape-y fallback, no offense. That falls in with the whole "I'm a 'great guy', why don't those promiscuous wh*res want me instead of that d*ouche?" thing...not saying you say that, enigma, LOL, just, you get the idea... 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 Which is not to say there isn't a percentage of women who go for actual bad boys...there is...just as there's a percentage of women who go for good guys...like, a really, really, really big percentage... 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 21 hours ago, ironpony said: When it comes to my guy friends, I notice that if a woman they are dating or even a gf has a high number of past partners, they seem insecure about it. But in my experience, if a woman asks me how many partners I have had in the past, which I was told by number is on the higher side (40-50, if that's higher), then the women seem to react more positively towards this, probably because it shows that the guy is popular, so he must be doing something right? Or unless the women do not like this buy hide it of course? So, maybe come back and let us at least know that you've read all our responses and let us know what conclusions you've come to. Hope you've worked this out and that all is well!
Emilie Jolie Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 3 minutes ago, enigma32 said: Looks, charm, and chemistry trump all in the game of attraction These things are subjective, though? Sounds like you're writing yourself off by saying you're none of those things, so that de facto makes you a good guy? Or that good guys can't be attractive and charming? Or that attractive guys are all dicks? What are you saying, exactly?
Miss Spider Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 depends on what is meant by “good”? You mean a nice person? Compassionate? Caring? Yes that’s a requisite for many people right along with looks, charm, intelligence, sense of humor... so on. I think enigma just meant that good is very rarely the only thing that makes a guy a desirable partner 1
Author ironpony Posted May 15, 2020 Author Posted May 15, 2020 Oh okay well judging from all the responses I am probably wrong then and most women do not really care, but at the same time may see it as a bit of a red flag it seems? 1 1
Miss Spider Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 Iron pony likes to start threads that begin along the lines of “do all women... “ blows his whistle, jumps out of the ring, and grabs some snacks. 1
Emilie Jolie Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 Unless the guy is charming, attractive and good. Or is that not an option in your world?
Miss Spider Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 (edited) Emilie said (and I can’t quote, because I don’t know how on mobile) : Any good guy has valuable, desirable traits, regardless of his number of sexual partners. Why is this so contentious? A lot of people were saying that having a low number/high number of sexual parters was a desirable trait, based on their individual preferences. Enigma was saying that a “good guy”( let alone “any good guy” )does not necessarily have desirable traits to a lot of women. I don’t even understand what the thread’s about anymore Edited May 15, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 1
basil67 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 21 minutes ago, enigma32 said: I would even argue that being subjectively "good" as you described it is far lower on the priority list than the traits I mentioned. A guy with good looks and or charm can easily get a date but a "good" guy? Maybe not so much. What about a good guy who also has looks and charm? I reckon he'd be the ultimate winner. 1 2
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 27 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said: These things are subjective, though? Sounds like you're writing yourself off by saying you're none of those things, so that de facto makes you a good guy? Or that good guys can't be attractive and charming? Or that attractive guys are all dicks? What are you saying, exactly? I want to be the minority. I want to stand out. Give me Ugly Douche D*cks for a thousand, Alex. 1
Emilie Jolie Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 9 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: I want to be the minority. I want to stand out. Give me Ugly Douche D*cks for a thousand, Alex. I LOVE this thread! One of the most bizarre, surreal threads I have ever taken part in so far! 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 2 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said: I LOVE this thread! One of the most bizarre, surreal threads I have ever taken part in so far! This is what nine weeks in quarantine will do. We need the OP to come back and just tell us what his conclusions are or wrap this up in some way. 1
Emilie Jolie Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 3 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: This is what nine weeks in quarantine will do. This 1000%. I can't recall reading about or even talking about the value of high number guys ever in my entire life! 1 2
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 4 hours ago, enigma32 said: I would even argue that being subjectively "good" as you described it is far lower on the priority list than the traits I mentioned. A guy with good looks and or charm can easily get a date but a "good" guy? Maybe not so much. Well...this is probably universal...beautiful people can walk into a room, look around, fart, and land a date...but that's even if they aren't d*cks, or d*ckettes. Beautiful is beautiful, we've been lathering over beautiful since cave walls.
Shining One Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 On 5/14/2020 at 11:29 PM, CaliforniaGirl said: I think the "social proof" thing goes too far and is often based on really, really young girls...who aren't sure yet what they want so they're looking around to figure out what that might be, based on what other girls seem to want...most kids, male and female, do this to an extent with all sorts of different stuff, until they come into their own. Social proof has served me well with women throughout their thirties. Ironically, it was often a woman in her twenties providing the social proof. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 6 minutes ago, Shining One said: Social proof has served me well with women throughout their thirties. Ironically, it was often a woman in her twenties providing the social proof. Great! There is your answer, OP. Go get lots of women to pay attention to you. 1
simpycurious Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 19 hours ago, simpycurious said: Is it less attractive if they (the men) were with someone who they lost (as in passing) with lower numbers? As in does it make the guy less desirable? 18 hours ago, alphamale said: that's why you NEVER ask someone how many sexual partners they have had this probably makes a lot of sense 1
Ami1uwant Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 21 hours ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Okay, maybe YOU are not frustrated...still, you could be. Why not look at your friend, objectively, and answer that question for yourself? What does he have to offer? Also, you make it sound like he has had scores of women. Unless you have been counting and you have unquestionable evidence, you really don't know, it seems. He is getting back with an ex-wife. There is something that she sees in him. What do you think it is? Let me ask some other questions. How do you know that these other alleged women even knew of his past sexual encounters? If they didn't know, they weren't attracted to his sexual experience, right? And another question, let's ask why your friend felt he needed to be promiscuous? Wait...I’m not the OP and I’m not frustrated. I’m just playing devils advocate on what the hell does a count really mean or even matter. im using my friend as an examp,e because he had high numbers from an early20s but in the last 30 yrs he has only slept with 3 women. its similar to politicians and judging them now on what they did 30 years ago. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: Wait...I’m not the OP and I’m not frustrated. I’m just playing devils advocate on what the hell does a count really mean or even matter. im using my friend as an examp,e because he had high numbers from an early20s but in the last 30 yrs he has only slept with 3 women. its similar to politicians and judging them now on what they did 30 years ago. Whoah! Sorry about that! I have no idea what and how I mistook you for the OP. Sorry.
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