miranda561 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 2 minutes ago, Artdeco said: I’ve had a high # of sex partners, and it’s never been an issue for any of my partners (IF they asked; if it wasn’t asked, I didn’t tell). It depends on the woman. Women of high value will not like or want that.
Woggle Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 4 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: For sure, but what does that have to do with women wanting a man to have a lot of sexual partners? I mean...if a fugly guy with a crap personality comes skulking out into the middle of a party to announce he's had sex with 50 women do you think all the women will swoon? My guess is...no... I think the "social proof" thing goes too far and is often based on really, really young girls...who aren't sure yet what they want so they're looking around to figure out what that might be, based on what other girls seem to want...most kids, male and female, do this to an extent with all sorts of different stuff, until they come into their own. JMO. A man bragging won't get anywhere but if he is confirmed to get a lot of women it does make his stock go up. I have seen it myself. It's why married men get hit on more easily with some women and many men who don't know what it is do the stupid thing and cheat. I know what it is so it always a firm no forever and always when women try to get me to cheat but it happens. I am not saying being a player is a good thing but I would be lying if I said it didn't have social benefits.
Woggle Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 3 minutes ago, miranda561 said: Long term that is. Unless the woman likes that. But then id be concerned about someone who wants that in their life Do you know how many women twist themselves into knots over some player who sleeps with her and discards her? It happens to men as well. I see female players who could a guy to sell a kidney for them if they wanted to. People want to conquer those they see as desirable.
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 Just now, Woggle said: Do you know how many women twist themselves into knots over some player who sleeps with her and discards her? It happens to men as well. I see female players who could a guy to sell a kidney for them if they wanted to. People want to conquer those they see as desirable. Well...she sound like a winner too so men, go for it! Ditto the kidney donators.
Artdeco Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 8 minutes ago, miranda561 said: It depends on the woman. Women of high value will not like or want that. I’m a woman. My male partners never had an issue with it. 1
Woggle Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 Just now, CaliforniaGirl said: Well...she sound like a winner too so men, go for it! Ditto the kidney donators. When I was single she tried to get with me actually but I stayed away. She is fun company but any man expecting anything more than a thrill with her is a masochist. One time she wanted to play with one of her men and asked if he would give her his kidney. She put a stop to it before he actually did it but she likes to see how far she can push it. The sad thing is men line up for her. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 1 minute ago, Woggle said: When I was single she tried to get with me actually but I stayed away. She is fun company but any man expecting anything more than a thrill with her is a masochist. One time she wanted to play with one of her men and asked if he would give her his kidney. She put a stop to it before he actually did it but she likes to see how far she can push it. The sad thing is men line up for her. Literally, someone was going to give his kidney? Stop him how? He sounds a little broken...but I guess she's got some sort of magic at the same time.
miranda561 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 11 minutes ago, Woggle said: Do you know how many women twist themselves into knots over some player who sleeps with her and discards her? It happens to men as well. I see female players who could a guy to sell a kidney for them if they wanted to. People want to conquer those they see as desirable. It happens all the time. Im just giving my personal view. I dont like it or will ever twist my self into a knot for someone like that
miranda561 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 6 minutes ago, Woggle said: When I was single she tried to get with me actually but I stayed away. She is fun company but any man expecting anything more than a thrill with her is a masochist. One time she wanted to play with one of her men and asked if he would give her his kidney. She put a stop to it before he actually did it but she likes to see how far she can push it. The sad thing is men line up for her. Is she preeettyyy. Well must be im guessing
Woggle Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Literally, someone was going to give his kidney? Stop him how? He sounds a little broken...but I guess she's got some sort of magic at the same time. He was willing to schedule an appointment to his kidney removed so she could have it. She told him that she was just joking around. She also has men spend obscene amounts of money on her and she has played their messages in front of the group so everybody can laugh at how pathetic they are. I was with her a couple of times and didn't spend a dime and I was the one guy she sort of developed feelings for but I knew what I was dealing with and put a stop to it once she wanted more. Yes she is very attractive or at least was the last time I saw her which was years ago. 1
Ollie180 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 4 hours ago, ironpony said: Of course when it comes to bragging about a number, I would never brag, and only told the number to women who have asked me, which has been every gf at some point in the relationship. That surprises me!! I’ve very rarely been asked that question by a girl! (Equally I can’t remember ever asking a girl how many people she’s slept with) Obviously we’ve talked about ex’s, and I’ve been asked like ‘how many long term relationships have you had’ ...but not for a number of partners 1
Emilie Jolie Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 This asking your partner about their sexual past must be a new thing? Any of my partners could have banged every woman from here to China and back, and I wouldn't care. My own # is relatively conservative but I don't consider myself higher value for it Is he faithful and do we gel in bed? Has he had happy RLs before me (a very, very strong prerequisite for me - anyone who says they've only had bad RLs is a gigantic red flag to me)? That's all I want to know. 3
elaine567 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 It is horses for courses. A guy who has "banged every woman from here to China" may be good at getting women into bed, but in the real world that is a skill that will not be valued by many women and especially not by women looking for a long term partner. That is a big red flag. I know some women will persuade themselves that she is "the one" and that his old ways are behind him, but that is usually delusional thinking... I think women (like men) want their partner to be "popular" with the opposite sex, (they don't want their peers to think "Ugh") but they don't want them to be seen as highly promiscuous either as that is a turn off and reduces their own value and that of their "date"... "I am seeing Bob now, we slept together..." "You and and how many others?... Good luck with that..." "Oh.... "
Emilie Jolie Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, elaine567 said: A guy who has "banged every woman from here to China" may be good at getting women into bed, but in the real world that is a skill that will not be valued by many women and especially not by women looking for a long term partner. My point is that I don't know or care how many women my exes and current partner banged. I don't place value in # of sexual partners. My own red flag is narrow mindedness in believing the number of people you've banged makes you a better or worse person. It doesn't. I know low # dicks riddled with insecurities or who cheated on their long term partners. On its own, it means nothing. But yeah, I guess judgemental attracts judgemental Edited May 15, 2020 by Emilie Jolie 2
poppyfields Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 (edited) 10 hours ago, miranda561 said: No one wants a player. Plus those kinds of guys have deep rooted mental health issues Can you expound on this? Are you suggesting a mental illness or disorder of some sort? Interesting, your post made me think about something a guy (a self-admitted "player" - high numbers, successful with women) told me years back. I cannot remember exactly but he alluded to players and the associated behaviours being a form of sociopathy. For me, I would never ask how high his numbers were, none of my business, don't care! And if he asked me, well to me that reflects his insecurity among other not very attractive qualities and it only goes downhill from there. I mean let's face it, when a guy asks a woman that question, there really IS only one "right" answer. Very very few. The lower the better. So I may choose to take a pass based on just being asked the question in the first place! Not because my numbers are high, but because the question is stupid and I don't get on well with stupid men. Xd Like another poster asked, who the hell cares? Focus on the two of you! Leave past partners and your "numbers" out of it. Edited May 15, 2020 by poppyfields
ChatroomHero Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 I've been asked a few times, my number is high. I don't know if it is ever taken well because if they didn't care they wouldn't have asked in the first place. I usually have to walk them through the math...I'm xx years old, single, 2-3 women a year = XXX. I've never been rejected for it but never felt it was in my benefit to give the number. The tough part is if you refuse to answer it looks bad and if you lie, it might come back to haunt you. I usually try to handle it as it's not something I think is beneficial to discuss either way unless you are a virgin or have been with one woman because you got married young or something. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 12 hours ago, ironpony said: When it comes to my guy friends, I notice that if a woman they are dating or even a gf has a high number of past partners, they seem insecure about it. But in my experience, if a woman asks me how many partners I have had in the past, which I was told by number is on the higher side (40-50, if that's higher), then the women seem to react more positively towards this, probably because it shows that the guy is popular, so he must be doing something right? Or unless the women do not like this buy hide it of course? If you are getting a high number of sexual partners and the women SEEM to be attracted to that, it has nothing to do with your sexual prowess. You have other characteristics that attract them...money. Good looks. Notoriety. Fame. No one is innately attracted to someone because of how many partners they've had. 1
miranda561 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 18 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Can you expound on this? Are you suggesting a mental illness or disorder of some sort? Interesting, your post made me think about something a guy (a self-admitted "player" - high numbers, successful with women) told me years back. I cannot remember exactly but he alluded to players and the associated behaviours being a form of sociopathy. For me, I would never ask how high his numbers were, none of my business, don't care! And if he asked me, well to me that reflects his insecurity among other not very attractive qualities and it only goes downhill from there. I mean let's face it, when a guy asks a woman that question, there really IS only one "right" answer. Very very few. The lower the better. So I may choose to take a pass based on just being asked the question in the first place! Not because my numbers are high, but because the question is stupid and I don't get on well with stupid men. Xd Like another poster asked, who the hell cares? Focus on the two of you! Leave past partners and your "numbers" out of it. Yeh it definitely is. For example narcissists always need a form of supply..so if a particular woman isn't giving him the supply..he will go to the next one. I know since that happened to me. He went from me to the other one...alternately. and i think there were probably others. They also tend to be highly insecure. I think a lot of people dont like that question. I ask not because of insecurity..but i want to know what im getting myself into. As some men's numbers are unreasonably high. But they tend to get touchy with the subject
rjc149 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 (edited) In my experience, players fall into 2 general categories: 1. Genetically-blessed men who are highly confident and outgoing, and have a lot of options with very attractive women and cannot stick with a single choice. These are the 'naturals.' Because his mating strategy (go forth and multiply) is contrary to female mating strategy (settle down and nest), these men are often branded by women as "selfish" or "sociopathic." (We don't commonly level the same condemnation of "selfish" at women who are eager to make a man commit all of his sexual energy and resources to her, because much like society brands her for being comfortable with her own sexuality, it praises her for conforming to that mating strategy.) 2. Men who are still nursing deep-seated emotional wounds left by women, and are acting out on their resentment. These are the 'pickup artists' and this is more of a function of anger rather than sociopathy. I'd say 80% of players are #1, 20% are #2, and maybe 10% of the whole bunch are true sociopaths. Needless to say, players make poor long-term partner prospects. Edited May 15, 2020 by rjc149 1
poppyfields Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 Keep in mind, it's one of those loaded questions where people may lie anyway. Men and women. So why bother asking in the first place? Miranda, If you keep your eyes open and pay attention, you'll find out all you need to know about him without asking the question, which chances are he will lie about anyway. If he's a player, his colors will surface soon enough. Trust me on that! Lol 1
Miss Spider Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 (edited) I know it’s judge-y, but if I find out he was or is a man ho, my romantic interest goes down exponentially. But just romantically/sexually. Like, we can be friends and I’ll support his life decisions 100%. If he likes it, I love it. But I’m just not into that Edited May 15, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
smackie9 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 I worked in a night club for 4 years and this is what I had observed. Guys with high numbers are looked at as more sexually experienced which is what a lot of women want.... Some who is great in the sack, a guy that really knows their way around a woman, and gives her spectacular O's. How it works sometimes is that word gets out...ah yes women do share this information especially if he is well endowed. The guy will get approached more but by woman who are simply looking for good sex, not a relationship. BUT! yes there is a but, not all those guys are good in the sack. I speak from experience.....I dated one. He was attractive so I thought I'd give him a shot to see what the fuss was about. The end results...meh, I have had was better.....and it never got better.
Emilie Jolie Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 1 hour ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: No one is innately attracted to someone because of how many partners they've had. I agree. I don't know anyone for whom having a high # of sexual partners is a specific prerequisite. Personally, I'd be just as incompatible with an insecure low # guy or a high # guy specifically requesting a low # woman. I see a whole lot of control / insecurities / wavelength issues in both these scenarios. But the red flag to me is the asking itself; what purpose does this info serve your current RL? I think I have a ballpark in my mind of what the men I've been with have been up to just by talking to them and getting to know them, but the actual # brings nothing to the table in terms of human characteristics. I want a healthy RL with a kind, fun, faithful guy I'm compatible with as much as possible. I can't see how knowing the number of women he's slept with is going to help figure this out. But I get these can be conditioned by religious beliefs etc.
elaine567 Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 17 minutes ago, smackie9 said: not all those guys are good in the sack. I speak from experience.....I dated one. He was attractive so I thought I'd give him a shot to see what the fuss was about. The end results...meh, I have had was better.....and it never got better. If a guy or a girl for that matter is always going on to the next, the next, the next... then building up a sexual technique that is good and truly satisfying is probably not going to happen. They are relying on excitement and primal instincts to get them through. 1 1
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