smackie9 Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 On 5/15/2020 at 8:02 AM, Cookiesandough said: Maybe you can do what I always do and say were just kidding... haha... he can never tell when you’re joking... but not sure I recommend that What be passive aggressive? not a good thing. 1
smackie9 Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 7 minutes ago, OatsAndHall said: Yup. Fall on the sword, apologize and move forward. And, understand that there are just some things that you shouldn't be highly vocal about in a relationship. My girlfriend wants to buy a pickup truck and I think it's a bad idea. They're expensive, they get poor gas mileage, they're costly to insure and she doesn't have need for one. With that being said, it's her life, her money and voicing my thoughts on it aren't warranted. She asked my opinion on the subject and I kept my trap shut; "Have fun shopping, hon!". Hah the min everyone finds out you have a truck it...hey can you help move me next weekend? Trust me other people will find a use for her truck lol.
OatsAndHall Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 1 minute ago, smackie9 said: Hah the min everyone finds out you have a truck it...hey can you help move me next weekend? Trust me other people will find a use for her truck lol. Nah, both of her brothers-in-law and one sister own multiple pickups, they're retired and actually enjoy hauling people's stuff around... That's why she wants one in the first place; she doesn't like asking them to use their pickups the few times per year she needs something moved. And, it won't be so bad; we can haul all of my fishing and camping gear around all summer. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 There is no way to be "good" other than to first get clear with yourself: brutally clear. So there is the underlying content of your argument: the friend on the property. Then there is the way you got nasty during the argument. Which part are you regretting? You have to be brutally honest with yourself. Sincerely admitting a mistake--as long as you go come up with a thousand excuses--is powerful and convincing. I would not lean on ADHD and missing your ADHD meds. Yes, certain forms of ADHD make it hard to not be impulsive, but there are strategies for that beyond taking meds. And it's your job NOT to run out of meds if you can only function with them. That's your job. I know people who are on various meds that are important for functioning, including high blood pressure meds. They can't afford to miss a day. What some people do is to make sure they have some overlap … talk to your provider. Figure out a way to half a half month's worth of meds extra. If you have ADHD, the provider will get it. Some ADHD folks can't get themselves to promptly pick up prescriptions, set up appointments and manage money for the prescriptions and so on. But you know what? If you want to be in a relationship, you have to figure that out, you have to solve that. Period. Full stop. No excuses. You can express frustration with your condition, but many of us have conditions. And part of life is figuring out/owning up to our weaknesses, and then setting up plans to implement to work around our weaknesses. You want to have a plan to walk out when you're arguing. Walk away … Knowing you have anger and nastiness issues (and a mouth that can get you in trouble), you need to develop a plan--on automatic--to walk out before you open your mouth if you are in a nasty mood. Having ADHD does not make someone helpless. And … if you want to be in a relationship, you have to demonstrate that you can behave reasonably and fairly. That's your job if you want ANYONE with any sense to date you.
smackie9 Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 28 minutes ago, OatsAndHall said: Nah, both of her brothers-in-law and one sister own multiple pickups, they're retired and actually enjoy hauling people's stuff around... That's why she wants one in the first place; she doesn't like asking them to use their pickups the few times per year she needs something moved. And, it won't be so bad; we can haul all of my fishing and camping gear around all summer. Aha! so having a pickup will be a useful thing to have! That's all me and my hubby drive. I wouldn't drive anything else unless it's a Meyers Manx. Now that's useless lol
Miss Spider Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 52 minutes ago, smackie9 said: What be passive aggressive? not a good thing. I meant more like diffuse with humor 1
OatsAndHall Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 1 hour ago, smackie9 said: Aha! so having a pickup will be a useful thing to have! That's all me and my hubby drive. I wouldn't drive anything else unless it's a Meyers Manx. Now that's useless lol This is all assuming she'll join me to go fishing. She says she will but I don't think she quite comprehends what a fanatical fisherman I am. 1
Miss Spider Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 (edited) Defuse* Omgosh Edited May 16, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
simpycurious Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: I meant more like diffuse with humor That is a good way to approach. 4 hours ago, OatsAndHall said: This is all assuming she'll join me to go fishing. She says she will but I don't think she quite comprehends what a fanatical fisherman I am. Oats, I have a little experience with this just be careful if you are taking her offshore (sea sick wise)....even with a fairly big boat in choppy water some people can get quite nauseous and that does not make for a fun experience no matter how pretty the ocean is and bright the sun is......... Edited May 16, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
dispatch3d Posted May 22, 2020 Posted May 22, 2020 I think your friend building a house on his land is ridiculous. If he can afford a house he can afford the land its on. That said you need to tred carefully with angry guys. Generally I just apologize and back down at anger from a guy, and if the issue is important to me I may try to revisit it later when cooler heads will prevail. That said it sounds like you've revisited it a few times, or pissed him off worse when he was in his angry phase, both of which will result in not-a-very-fun-time. If the issue is minor to me and major to them I typically just let them win. Talking mostly about my dad now, who is getting older, and sometimes picks fights over what (seems to me) to be trivial, so I just do what he asks.
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