He liked his ex gf's pic on social media, should I be leary of this?

[introverted1]

9 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

He only broke up with his ex 1.5 months ago.  You are NEW in his life.  You are just starting to date the guy.  

 

She's not new.  They dated last summer and he ghosted her.  Now he's back.

[ShyViolet]

2 minutes ago, Hpchic said:

I think given the way things ended, it is a bit weird that he’s still friends with her on social media.   I’m not demanding anything, I just am trying to look out for myself and not get involved with a guy who’s still thinking about his ex gf.   
 

Now that I know a bit more, doesn’t seem like they ended on great terms so yea the like is weird as well.  I think I might just tell him this isn’t going to work with him and I.  

Not everyone cuts off contact 100% with their ex, unfriends them on facebook, eradicates all memory of them.  It's unreasonable to expect that and it shows a major insecurity on your part.  Just because someone broke up with someone, it doesn't mean that they hate them forever, don't ever want to see a picture of them again, don't ever want to look back on the memories of the relationship.  They might want to see how that person is doing from time to time.  That's normal.  That's human.  You seriously need to relax.

But if your gut tells you not to get involved with this guy, then absolutely, don't get involved with the guy.  That's your choice to make.

[preraph]

8 minutes ago, Hpchic said:

I think given the way things ended, it is a bit weird that he’s still friends with her on social media.   I’m not demanding anything, I just am trying to look out for myself and not get involved with a guy who’s still thinking about his ex gf.   
 

Now that I know a bit more, doesn’t seem like they ended on great terms so yea the like is weird as well.  I think I might just tell him this isn’t going to work with him and I.  

You only have his version, right?

[Hpchic]

8 minutes ago, preraph said:

You only have his version, right?

This is what he told our mutual friend, but he would have no reason to lie to him, this was all said to our friend right after it happened. 

[Hpchic]

17 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

If this is true, it's even worse than him dating you before and disappearing and now reappearing.  Do you really want to be with a guy who can have an argument over something trivial and then never contact you again because he has a "a big ego along with some insecurities"? 

That’s a good point.  I thought it was a bit weird too, but the way my friend made it sound it was more like they had that argument and he felt like  good riddance since he was gonna break up with her anyway.  But yea that’s a pretty immature way to handle things.

[preraph]

Yeah, but you have no idea what HER version is.  I mean, guys like to save face so they're not going to be straight with their friends if it's embarrassing or makes them look like they are the dumpee.  

[Leojax]

8 minutes ago, Hpchic said:

That’s a good point.  I thought it was a bit weird too, but the way my friend made it sound it was more like they had that argument and he felt like  good riddance since he was gonna break up with her anyway.  But yea that’s a pretty immature way to handle things.

That’s a very dangerous assumption. 
If it was a good riddance he wouldn’t be on her social media liking her stuff which he knows she’ll see.
 

I think you’re trying to find ways to make it seem like he just really doesn’t care for his ex, when it’s probably not the case.

Even if he didn’t still care for her, unfortunately you’re still the back burner person. He didn’t want anything with you then and only came back after a breakup. At the end of the day I’m sorry to say he’s just not interested in you in the way you’d like him to be, ex or not. 

[Hpchic]

4 minutes ago, Leojax said:

That’s a very dangerous assumption. 
If it was a good riddance he wouldn’t be on her social media liking her stuff which he knows she’ll see.
 

I think you’re trying to find ways to make it seem like he just really doesn’t care for his ex, when it’s probably not the case.

Even if he didn’t still care for her, unfortunately you’re still the back burner person. He didn’t want anything with you then and only came back after a breakup. At the end of the day I’m sorry to say he’s just not interested in you in the way you’d like him to be, ex or not. 

He only liked one post, but i do agree with you.

 

[Leojax]

Just now, Hpchic said:

He only liked one post, but i do agree with you.

 

The bright side is, you seem like a great person and it hasn’t been that long with this guy. You’ll find someone who is crazy about you and for your peace of mind won’t have to worry about an ex. 

[Trail Blazer]

9 hours ago, Hpchic said:

He’s also friends with his ex wife on social media but that I understand since they share a child and had a pretty amicable divorce.  So I just snooped and noticed the ex wife updated her cover photo for Mother’s Day with a pic of her and her daughter, he did not like that pic. I don’t know perhaps I’m just reading too far into this but to me you’d sooner like a pic of your ex wife with your child for Mother’s Day rather than your ex gf with her mother.  Just speaking from my point of view since I have a child with my ex husband as well. 

You're right to think he'd sooner like that picture of his ex-wife with his child than merely a recent ex.  However, there's a chance that he simply didn't see the photo of his ex-wife come up on his feed...

If we're talking about Facebook, the way its algorithm works is by displaying content from friends or pages in which a user interacts with the most.

Given that the relationship ended only recently, your boyfriend would undoubtedly have interacted with his ex-girlfriend a lot more than his ex-wife.  He may not have seen the pic unless he opened her profile and specifically looked at her feed.

[Hpchic]

44 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

You're right to think he'd sooner like that picture of his ex-wife with his child than merely a recent ex.  However, there's a chance that he simply didn't see the photo of his ex-wife come up on his feed...

If we're talking about Facebook, the way its algorithm works is by displaying content from friends or pages in which a user interacts with the most.

Given that the relationship ended only recently, your boyfriend would undoubtedly have interacted with his ex-girlfriend a lot more than his ex-wife.  He may not have seen the pic unless he opened her profile and specifically looked at her feed.

He tags his ex wife in a lot of his posts since most of them are of their child, so I think her stuff would come up on his feed.  Plus doesn’t really look like he posted anything with his ex gf, like I said the majority of his posts are of his child or just shares of memes and stuff.

Edited May 15, 2020 by Hpchic

[Trail Blazer]

17 minutes ago, Hpchic said:

He tags his ex wife in a lot of his posts since most of them are of their child, so I think her stuff would come up on his feed.  Plus doesn’t really look like he posted anything with his ex gf, like I said the majority of his posts are of his child or just shares of memes and stuff.

Okay, well that's a little strange.  It's hard to really put your finger on it.  I think it's hard to put your finger on without a wider context.  Only you can know as you're living it.  I'm a bit each way here.  It's potentially concerning, but could just as easily be completely innocent.

[Hpchic]

25 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Okay, well that's a little strange.  It's hard to really put your finger on it.  I think it's hard to put your finger on without a wider context.  Only you can know as you're living it.  I'm a bit each way here.  It's potentially concerning, but could just as easily be completely innocent.

I don’t know why but I feel like it’s even more concerning in a way because he hasn’t liked any of her stuff since the breakup, if he had I might’ve just chalked it up to him trying to keep it civil or something.  But now that it’s been 1.5 months they haven’t spoken, shes not liking any of his stuff, it’s almost like he did that for some attention from her.  
 

either way I think I’ve decided not to continue with him.  We’ve only been out a few times, and given what happened this past summer, it’s probably best we go our separate ways.

[Miss Spider]

I think this is almost always contextual One of my ex bfs would  like  his ex’s posts right in front of me as we were scrolling his feed but he broke up with her and  you could tell they were just Facebook friends. You could just tell he felt sorry for her by stuff he said . People do weird stuff like this all the time. But back to your case, you aren’t sure where you stand with him which I think is making you question it. I think you should get more serious first before you worry about these things. Seems hard to do with the times, but idk. 

Edited May 15, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Hpchic]

Update:  I have spoken to him a few times since I last posted, but we haven’t seen each other.  During these times it’s nice to have someone to talk to, but I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again.  Anyway, out of sheer curiosity I did look at her page today and saw that she had put a pic of herself on Saturday and he liked it.  That just confirmed to me my hunch was right.  On the flip side he’s posted a few times this week and she has not liked any of his posts.  Either way, I’m moving on.  Especially since he once told me how he thought it was so silly when people like famous peoples’ posts, he said “what’s the point, it’s not like they know who you are”.

 

He is very nice and does ask a lot of questions, but even the few times I have spoken to him on the phone, I get the feeling like he’s trying to fill some void.  I think he was used to talking to her every night, is missing that and is trying to do that with me.  

Edited May 18, 2020 by Hpchic

[hippychick3]

46 minutes ago, Hpchic said:

Update:  I have spoken to him a few times since I last posted, but we haven’t seen each other.  During these times it’s nice to have someone to talk to, but I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again.  Anyway, out of sheer curiosity I did look at her page today and saw that she had put a pic of herself on Saturday and he liked it.  That just confirmed to me my hunch was right.  On the flip side he’s posted a few times this week and she has not liked any of his posts.  Either way, I’m moving on.  Especially since he once told me how he thought it was so silly when people like famous peoples’ posts, he said “what’s the point, it’s not like they know who you are”.

 

He is very nice and does ask a lot of questions, but even the few times I have spoken to him on the phone, I get the feeling like he’s trying to fill some void.  I think he was used to talking to her every night, is missing that and is trying to do that with me.  

Good for you for deciding not to see him again. It may be hard to mentally move on from him if you are still tallking to him though. Trusting your gut is important. You deserve to be someone's first choice and the only woman he focuses on.