nextel Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 I am able to do alot of things for myself. I have my own place, I pay my own bills and I have never asked a man to do anything for me. I am at a stage in my life where I would like to have someone permanent. However, a huge part of me believes that, that someone must be able to support everything I can already do for myself and give me more. Is it wrong of me to think like that or is this a normal things?
slubberdegullion Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 I'm not sure I understand: You're a successful, independent woman. But you want a partner who can support you so you can stop working, etc?
Razorback05 Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Do you mean that you feel that your partner must be equal to or greater than your own financial capacity in order for you to see them as an equal? If that's what you mean, then that's a fairly common thing and I don't see anything wrong with that. Please elaborate.
Author nextel Posted October 9, 2005 Author Posted October 9, 2005 I just believe that my partner must be greater financially. I want him to be able to do all that I can already do for myself and more, not because I want to stop working: but because thats what I expect from my partner. I will always hold a job, but I do expect him to be the provider. Is this wrong?
Razorback05 Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Well, it's a personal preference/belief of yours and really not subject to being right or wrong. It's simply a matter of finding someone that wants to assume that role in your life. It's common for males to feel insecurity with a female who makes more than himself, so you're probably better off than wanting to be the breadwinner when it comes to long-term relationships. In short, I share your belief that the male should be the provider.
RecordProducer Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Well, it's a personal preference/belief of yours and really not subject to being right or wrong. It's simply a matter of finding someone that wants to assume that role in your life. Exactly. You set your own criteria. However you night fall in love with someone who makes a bit less than you. In any case many women, including myself,share your premise that a man should make more or at least equally.
JayKay Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 If by 'the provider' you mean someone who can 'take care of you' then feel free to seek that type of person out. I don't know about you, but I don't have that need to be infantalized. Yes, if I got sick and couldn't work for a while, my partner could shoulder the responsibilities for a while. However, if roles were reversed and HE were out of work or disabled for any period of time, I'd step into that role. It's what you both agree on. The life roles you agree to play should be discussed before any long-term committment. I'd just think carefully about what type of identity you wish to maintain and what type of personality you have. If you are a very free-thinking, independant woman.....a man who sees himself in the 'provider' role MIGHT have a hard time treating you as an equal.
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