fred123 Posted May 13, 2020 Posted May 13, 2020 how do u deal with this? been on 2 dates and texting a girl for last 2 weeks etc. she then mentions about a previous guy she used to date for a month and they stopped seeing each other cos in her words "he was an a**h*** and didnt text her". she tells me he has texted her to meet up again. she tells me she wont see him again. i like this girl what do i do/react?
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2020 Posted May 13, 2020 I thought you lived in the UK. How did you go on two dates? You should be in lock down, not going out and meeting strangers. 1
Author fred123 Posted May 13, 2020 Author Posted May 13, 2020 15 minutes ago, elaine567 said: I thought you lived in the UK. How did you go on two dates? You should be in lock down, not going out and meeting strangers. yes i know:( but never the less what are your thoughts
miranda561 Posted May 13, 2020 Posted May 13, 2020 2 hours ago, fred123 said: yes i know:( but never the less what are your thoughts Dont meet anyone for three months minimum. Thats my advice.
miranda561 Posted May 13, 2020 Posted May 13, 2020 2 hours ago, elaine567 said: I thought you lived in the UK. How did you go on two dates? You should be in lock down, not going out and meeting strangers. Thank you !!!!!!!!!!! I don't get why people can't stick to it. 50000 deaths in the uk. Second highest in the world 2
smackie9 Posted May 13, 2020 Posted May 13, 2020 My thoughts are, if one wants to attract someone, they won't talk about other guys/girls ie: dating, exes, sexapades, being hit on, etc. Big red flag. This is the kind of personality I wouldn't date. What I turn off. That deserves no response from you.
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 13, 2020 Posted May 13, 2020 Sounds like a silly game, that she's telling you he texted her, but she won't see him again. If that latter is the case then why is she telling you at all? Personally I wouldn't answer that at all. Or I might say. "Oh! LOL!" or some polite throwaway thing to give her the benefit of a doubt that she was just making conversation. And yes. Please don't go meet people right now. Come on... 2 1
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2020 Posted May 13, 2020 Don't react at all. She may simply be trying to be transparent, telling you about this call so you don't think she's hiding the EX. She would have been better off keeping her mouth shut but some people have never learned to keep their own counsel. She may be testing you to see if you get jealous & pitch a fit. If you do, she will label you controlling. The only smart move is to not react. Assuming it's safe to do so, get up another date & carry on. 1
Author fred123 Posted May 15, 2020 Author Posted May 15, 2020 well guess what. she met up with him tonight and was tagged on fb with him
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Posted May 15, 2020 54 minutes ago, fred123 said: well guess what. she met up with him tonight and was tagged on fb with him Boy, you missed out on nothing, not one thing. They deserve eachother. 1
Juha Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 Next! Obviously do not contact her again. if she contacts you again and she wants to meet then I would just make her a hookup/fwb nothing more
Author fred123 Posted May 16, 2020 Author Posted May 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Juha said: Next! Obviously do not contact her again. if she contacts you again and she wants to meet then I would just make her a hookup/fwb nothing more she said it wasnt a date but just catching up. I like this girl and could see it potentially going somewhere even only been on a couple of dates. not sure wat to do. dont know if i should do a fwb/casual sex?
Juha Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 5 minutes ago, fred123 said: she said it wasnt a date but just catching up. I like this girl and could see it potentially going somewhere even only been on a couple of dates. not sure wat to do. dont know if i should do a fwb/casual sex? Please do not be naive! She said he was an a-hole then goes to meet up with him. Why or what would she need to be catching up on with him? There is only one reason she would go to meet up with him. She still has feelings for him, he is trying to talk her into it, and she is thinking about it. Pretty simple to be honest. I would not waste much time or energy on her at this point I have had this situation in the past and do not make it anything serious and just lightly date and do not invest in them at all. Have fun and sex with them, that is about it. For me that is You do what you want I wish you luck
Author fred123 Posted May 16, 2020 Author Posted May 16, 2020 23 minutes ago, Juha said: Please do not be naive! She said he was an a-hole then goes to meet up with him. Why or what would she need to be catching up on with him? There is only one reason she would go to meet up with him. She still has feelings for him, he is trying to talk her into it, and she is thinking about it. Pretty simple to be honest. I would not waste much time or energy on her at this point I have had this situation in the past and do not make it anything serious and just lightly date and do not invest in them at all. Have fun and sex with them, that is about it. For me that is You do what you want I wish you luck i like this girl.been making a effort to ask her out on dates etc. not sure if being f***buddies will be good for me?
ExpatInItaly Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 1 hour ago, fred123 said: i like this girl.been making a effort to ask her out on dates etc. not sure if being f***buddies will be good for me? How would that be good fro you? She is still interested in this other guy, and it bothered you enough to make a thread about it. You won't be able to handle sleeping with her knowing she's also seeing others. Why do that to yourself?
elaine567 Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 Has she even suggested that she wants to sleep with you? A girl speaking about another man is a pretty good indicator that she is not interested in you and that she is interested in him. Which was proven, when instead of making plans with you, she met up with him... You seem to have got into the middle of their relationship. She may have even used you to make him jealous and get him back talking to her again. There is nothing for you here.
Author fred123 Posted May 16, 2020 Author Posted May 16, 2020 i think he doesnt like her as much as she did. she said he was the first guy she really liked since her last ex bf. no she hasnt suggested sleeping with me. she says she likes hanging out and seeing me. she cute for sure. defintely like this girl and could see her as potential gf. she texted me today saying "dont worry it wasnt a date. you have nothing to worry about. But im not looking for anything serious as I dont want anything at the moment." hmm
elaine567 Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 A "potential gf" does not tell you she doesn't want anything serious with you... This girl will hang about with you, keeping you at arms length, till she finds someone else... Look for women who are interested in you and only you. When they reject you like this girl has, you need to walk away.
Author fred123 Posted May 16, 2020 Author Posted May 16, 2020 do i just swallow my feelings and pride and try and just sleep with her then? better than nothing?
elaine567 Posted May 16, 2020 Posted May 16, 2020 I guess as she has made it clear to you that she doesn't want "anything" at the moment, she will not want to sleep with you... 1
Miss Spider Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) She doesn’t sound that interested and honestly if she’s talking to you about this other guy, calling him an *** or whatnot, she sounds like she’s still kind of hung up over him. I think you should probably just let it go unless yeah, you just want to sleep with her and then next her... don’t catch feels. However, women tend to be a bit different than guys in that when they say they’re not looking for a rship they mean theyre not that into you sexually either.. You can try your luck. Edited May 18, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Juha Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 On 5/16/2020 at 11:20 AM, fred123 said: i think he doesnt like her as much as she did. she said he was the first guy she really liked since her last ex bf. no she hasnt suggested sleeping with me. she says she likes hanging out and seeing me. she cute for sure. defintely like this girl and could see her as potential gf. she texted me today saying "dont worry it wasnt a date. you have nothing to worry about. But im not looking for anything serious as I dont want anything at the moment." hmm First of all women are not going to suggest sleeping with you, you hangout , have a fun time, make her comfortable being around you, then sex happens. If you have no emotions invested with this woman have fun and sex with her. If you are stuck on this woman, like it seems you are, then you probably should not as you will become infatuated with her When you are not invested in the situation it will be fun, unfortunately you are way over invested in a woman who is not and has told you she is not looking or liking you enough to be your gf. Really need to not become so invested in someone so quickly, especially if they are not invested 1
Backinthesaddleagain Posted May 18, 2020 Posted May 18, 2020 (edited) On 5/13/2020 at 7:04 AM, fred123 said: how do u deal with this? been on 2 dates and texting a girl for last 2 weeks etc. she then mentions about a previous guy she used to date for a month and they stopped seeing each other cos in her words "he was an a**h*** and didnt text her". she tells me he has texted her to meet up again. she tells me she wont see him again. i like this girl what do i do/react? I would tell her "That is soooo weird! My ex texted me the other day and wanted to go grab a drink! But don't worry, I won't see her again." - i missed the follow up post about her meeting up with the "a**h***". Dude, have some self respect and kick this skank to the curb. Edited May 18, 2020 by Backinthesaddleagain
TheDao Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 On 5/16/2020 at 11:41 AM, fred123 said: do i just swallow my feelings and pride and try and just sleep with her then? better than nothing? Why would you bother unless you like drama.
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2020 Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) On 5/14/2020 at 10:49 PM, fred123 said: well guess what. she met up with him tonight and was tagged on fb with him So now you know she is a liar. She said she was not going to meet him yet she met him. Next. Do not "swallow your feelings" or sleep with her. Just be done with her. Edited May 19, 2020 by d0nnivain
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