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Too soon to assume he's not interested?


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Posted (edited)

When you first meet someone (dating app, in this case), typically communication is occasional and only when it's convenient for both parties. If there are gaps in responses or prolonged times of no communication, it's too early to write him off as not interested, because life happens, and I too might take a while to respond.

I met this guy online a few weeks ago and we communicated through the online site every now and then. We started chatting regularly through Viber (a.k.a exchanged phone numbers) several days ago and have been consistently in touch since then (daily). He had the last word to which I responded with a question (how many times have you been?)

No response since. It has been a few days. Is it too early to write him off as not interested? He expressed similar likes and interest overall, and would initiate the questions and conversations equally, so I'm curious why he's suddenly MIA (god forbid he is sick or has a family emergency).

I know no action is necessary. I'm just curious if this means he's lost interest or if it's too early to make this assumption? 

Edited by Hopeful30
Posted

Whenever using software to chat there are always chance of error or alert going into spam folder or blocking.

 

you alawsys dhoukd fo a short message if it seems to take longer than normal communication patterns

Posted
52 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said:

When you first meet someone (dating app, in this case), typically communication is occasional and only when it's convenient for both parties. If there are gaps in responses or prolonged times of no communication, it's too early to write him off as not interested, because life happens, and I too might take a while to respond.

I met this guy online a few weeks ago and we communicated through the online site every now and then. We started chatting regularly through Viber (a.k.a exchanged phone numbers) several days ago and have been consistently in touch since then (daily). He had the last word to which I responded with a question (how many times have you been?)

No response since. It has been a few days. Is it too early to write him off as not interested? He expressed similar likes and interest overall, and would initiate the questions and conversations equally, so I'm curious why he's suddenly MIA (god forbid he is sick or has a family emergency).

I know no action is necessary. I'm just curious if this means he's lost interest or if it's too early to make this assumption? 

Don't assume, don't pretend to know.......find out.  If there's a chance that IT MIGHT BE why not choose to KNOW FOR SURE.  Don't let the passage of TIME write the narrative for you. 

  • Like 2
Posted

If you asked him a question and he blew it off, then no, it’s not too soon to assume he’s uninterested. 

There could always be another reason but typically, an abrupt withdrawal from an ongoing conversation with more than 24 hrs since the last exchange means not interested.

 

  • Like 2
Posted

It’s impossible to know for sure. Not sure if you were just focusing on this one guy at this point or if you still have other guys that have potential? I found with online dating to keep communicating / going on early stage dates with as many potentials as possible, even if there was one that stood out, just because online dating is so fickle and something can fizzle out very quickly.

So whether he’s lost interest or not, you should make sure you’re still active on the app and searching for potentials.

Posted

Hmmm...write him off...I don't know that I'd go that far. Who knows what might have happened. But I would take it very casually...at this point you two really aren't a "thing," you know? This early on people do just disappear.

I think you should just be lighthearted about it...it's been fun...you've been paid attention to...but you're not exactly engaged or anything...you may hear back from him and it may be fun again...deal with all that then if it happens. Meanwhile, keep checking out other guys. (That sounded terrible but you get the idea.)

  • Like 1
Posted

To me, no response for a few days means not interested.  It's not that hard to text back.  And if someone is really interested, they do text back.  If you want, you could try him one more time just to make sure.

  • Like 5
Posted
5 hours ago, Hopeful30 said:

When you first meet someone (dating app, in this case), typically communication is occasional and only when it's convenient for both parties. If there are gaps in responses or prolonged times of no communication, it's too early to write him off as not interested, because life happens, and I too might take a while to respond.

I met this guy online a few weeks ago and we communicated through the online site every now and then. We started chatting regularly through Viber (a.k.a exchanged phone numbers) several days ago and have been consistently in touch since then (daily). He had the last word to which I responded with a question (how many times have you been?)

No response since. It has been a few days. Is it too early to write him off as not interested? He expressed similar likes and interest overall, and would initiate the questions and conversations equally, so I'm curious why he's suddenly MIA (god forbid he is sick or has a family emergency).

I know no action is necessary. I'm just curious if this means he's lost interest or if it's too early to make this assumption? 

Since you were chatting for a while..several days you said and he seemed interested . I wouldn't write him off so soon.

Just speaking from my own experiences.

Sometimes texting can get boring, or something  comes up. If you want  message again in a few days or something.

Although at the same time a tip would be to get to know others. Theres no rule stating you should only stick to one guy

Posted

Him and like so many, are checking out other options before they decide to ask you out or not.

  • Like 1
Posted

Well since you haven’t even met yet, there’s not a relationship yet. And there really shouldn’t be many expectations regarding communication. I’d not “write him off” but I’d also not allow myself to take this very seriously at all. This needs to be easy breezy, light-hearted stuff at this stage and not hyper focused on his actions or lack thereof. You’re still strangers and need to keep options open on both ends. 

  • Like 1
Posted

I wouldn’t take any online communications seriously at this time (or ever, but I know some people do) I’m  sure a lot of people are just stopping at any port in this  storm. They’re bored to death, killing time. 

  • Like 3
  • Shocked 1
Posted

I think you should just live and celebrate your life. Don't worry about it if it's meant to be it will be. There are other fish in the sea. 

  • Author
Posted

Update:

Sent a quick message wishing him a good weekend. He replied that I'm too sensitive for him (Which surprised me). Earlier in our conversations I mentioned being able to sense when someone is in a bad mood, or stressed, or if I walk past someone on the street, sometimes I can sense right away that they had a bad day. Apparently empathy is off putting to him 🤷‍♂️ 

I actually feel quite relieved knowing this. He's definitely not my type if such an important quality is a turn off.

Next!

Posted
28 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said:

Update:

Sent a quick message wishing him a good weekend. He replied that I'm too sensitive for him (Which surprised me). Earlier in our conversations I mentioned being able to sense when someone is in a bad mood, or stressed, or if I walk past someone on the street, sometimes I can sense right away that they had a bad day. Apparently empathy is off putting to him 🤷‍♂️ 

I actually feel quite relieved knowing this. He's definitely not my type if such an important quality is a turn off.

Next!

maybe you should look for a FWB Hopeful30?

Posted (edited)

Well, I think it's reasonable to reply within 24.

However, not all texts go through. 

Edited by Fletch Lives
Posted

I think he is not interested. Think what would you do if you like someone, maybe you will wait, but surely you won't wait a few days. I wouldn't write him anymore, and if he writes you will see what he will say.

Posted
On 5/16/2020 at 1:44 PM, Hopeful30 said:

Update:

Sent a quick message wishing him a good weekend. He replied that I'm too sensitive for him (Which surprised me). Earlier in our conversations I mentioned being able to sense when someone is in a bad mood, or stressed, or if I walk past someone on the street, sometimes I can sense right away that they had a bad day. Apparently empathy is off putting to him 🤷‍♂️ 

I actually feel quite relieved knowing this. He's definitely not my type if such an important quality is a turn off.

Next!

how rude his response. trying to make u feel s***ty by saying ur too sensitive. hes lying. hes using that as an excuse.

Posted (edited)

Jeez. I agree with @fred123 ( btw still thinking on a response, just want to give it adequate thought) that is extremely rude. Sounds like he did you a favor 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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