Zainab Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 I am in relationship for 2 years.In the start 1st month of the relationship, my parents came to know about us and they reacted too much and forced me not to talk to him again.I tried very much but unable to do so and continue my relationship. He also tried to explain me but I couldn't leave him..Now we are in relationship.I want to marry him at any cost. But he is saying that his father is a type of different person and he will never agree and so on. Please guide me..I cannot leave him.
schlumpy Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 If the customs of your culture are that you may not marry without your parents approval you have a choice to make. You marry anyway and accept the consequences which may be banishment from the family or you obey your parents wishes, remain unhappy until you mourn your love and move on with someone your parents approve of. Your third option is to convince your parents that your choice is acceptable and your husband-to-be must be willing to live up to whatever your parents expect from him. They want you married to a lawyer instead of a refrigeration mechanic, he better start studying. I do wish you well.
d0nnivain Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 Do you have an older wiser advisor -- grandparent or religious figure -- who can intervene & advocate on your behalf? Perhaps talk to your parents about their concerns & then address them. Show how your BF is a quality partner for you. Similarly he must do the same with his father. Since both sets of parents disapprove, you have an uphill battle.
ShyViolet Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 Are you going to let your (and his) parents control your life, or are you going to become independent from your parents and do what you want? That is your choice to make. 1
justwhoiam Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 On 5/4/2020 at 11:55 PM, Zainab said: I am in relationship for 2 years.In the start 1st month of the relationship, my parents came to know about us and they reacted too much and forced me not to talk to him again.I tried very much but unable to do so and continue my relationship. He also tried to explain me but I couldn't leave him..Now we are in relationship.I want to marry him at any cost. But he is saying that his father is a type of different person and he will never agree and so on. Please guide me..I cannot leave him. Hi Zainab, I'm not sure if you're having Internet access right now as you never got back to this thread with a reply. As your name is mostly found in Pakistan, I assume that's where you're from. You might be in another muslim country though. How far did you go with this guy you're in love with? Did you just kiss him or you did more? He's having a relationship with you even if he knows he will never be serious with you and will never marry you. There's a chance what he said about his father is true, but there's also a chance he's using that as an excuse to let you know he can't commit to you. Based on all that mentioned above, your parents are right not wanting you to spend time with him anymore. He's just using you. And in your culture, that's gonna scar you pretty much. Don't let him shape your future. You want a family and to get married. The sooner you let him go, the better. Break off the relationship with him ASAP. If he's really interested in you, he will do something to win you. Don't waste your life after a man who doesn't really want you.
mark clemson Posted June 10, 2020 Posted June 10, 2020 It's nice that you are at least have internet access. If you are in a country/culture where "honor killings" are practiced, then I suggest you be very cautious in how you proceed with this man, if at all. It's sad when people cannot make their own choices in a partner, but that is the way of the world in some places.
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