cornelia_street Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 Hello, I know the situation might seem a little weird, but I wanted an opinion because for some reason can’t stop thinking about it I’m 24 years old, last year I graduated law school, and I’ve never been attracted to older guys-the maxmum age gap I’ve had in a relationship is 3-4 years. But recently, maybe because I’m bored and spent much more time on SN during quarantine or something, but I’ve started to notice a guy much older than me( one of his sons is in university, if that says something Very Happy ) , he’s a very famous lawyer in my (small) country, he participates actively in actions against the government, appears a lot on TV interviews and I started following him on facebook and his blog. At first, I read his publications because they’re very intelligent and I appreciate people who express their opinion without fear.But lately I’ve started to notice his looks also because he looks handsome for his age. So I got to thinking that I wouldreally like to meet him in person, even just to talk ,because there’s a lot I could learn especially since we work in the same field.. I wouldn’t mind doing something physical (I mentioned he’s handsome Very Happy) but then again, realistically speaking , normal relationship is out of the table for a lot of reasons (he’s divorced, not married ,but still) . So I was wondering -do you think I should maybe send a message, just to express that I’m impressed with his work etc and see how it goes and whether he would be even slightly interested in meeting in person or would that type of text sound strange ? I mean for me it would be nice even to have a cup of coffee and talk and learn, I don't expect for him to arrange me with a job or anything . Or even this idea is stupid and I should just try to concentrate on other things ? I would appreciate an honest opinion. Best regards
Erik30 Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 You basically just have a "celebrity crush" because you're bored. You never even met the guy and you have no idea if he's interested. He has no idea who you are so it's all a fantasy. If you were a man, this would be considered creepy... but as a guy he might be into it (if he thinks you're attractive) so you could try sending him a message... but he might be worried about his reputation since he's a famous lawyer. I doubt anything will happen if this is about an actual celebrity, he's probably getting attention from women all the time in that case... 3
amaysngrace Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 I say go for it. It’s better to reach out and see where it leads than regret not being more bold ten years from now. If it feels right do it.
stillafool Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 If he's that famous and handsome he more than likely already has a woman or two. 1
smackie9 Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 (edited) No doubt he gets plenty of fan mail....your message probably will get lost in the mass sea of messages from other women. BTW most likely he has a secretary that sorts through his emails and sends him the ones regarding business because he's too busy. Edited May 4, 2020 by smackie9 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 OP, if he's as good-looking, well-known and accomplished as you say, you can be sure he gets all kinds of messages from women and likely already has one (or more) in his life. There is probably someone who filters his contacts from the public, as well - a secretary, a P.A., or some other such third party. Understand that whatever contact info he provides to the public is not his personal number or contact details. Someone else is probably going to read your message first and decide whether or not it's relevant enough to pass on to him. You could try to reach out, but don't get your hopes up.
lurker74 Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 The advantage of older men is that they are generally much more experienced at understanding how to please a woman, in and out of bed. Of course, some of them don't care but those that do are often quite enjoyable from a conversation, culture and knowing where the...little man in the boat hangs out and what a grafenberg spot is! The drawback is that large gaps usually don't work out in the long run and sometimes mean over ~40 can have performance issues. But if you are looking for fun and conversation and what might actually be the best sex of your life, flirting is not a bad idea. The worst thing that happens is nothing, assuming he isn't married.
elaine567 Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 You have a "celebrity crush" made all the more real by the false "familiarity" of following him on FB and watching his blog. You feel you know him but you have no idea what he is really like. Lawyers can be sharp cookies and if he is "anti Govt" he may run in some pretty scary circles.. I would stay away if I were you A friend of mine met a celebrity she was enamoured with, but instead of the lovely person he presented to his fans, he was in fact a narcissistic weird a**h*** - her words. Sometimes it is best to keep those we admire in the fantasy land they occupy, bringing them out into the cold light of reality, can leave us disappointed and nonplussed.
preraph Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 He's no doubt married or seeing someone. Come back down to earth. 2
elaine567 Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 1 minute ago, preraph said: He's no doubt married or seeing someone. ...or gay???? 1
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 "Famous" lawyers will be very suspicious of attempts by strangers like you to contact them. He will assume you want a job or are somehow trying to set him up. If he senses you want to date him he will think you are trying to trap him & sue him for harassment or something. He's not going to think you are a quality romantic prospect. If you want to learn from him, attend any lectures or classes he gives. Most lawyers are required to do continuing education & the famous lawyers often give those classes. Take his. Once courts re-open if you learn he will be trying a case or arguing an appeal show up. Courts are open to the public. If you already have a lawyer ID badge to get in the court house somebody will squeeze you into a crowded courtroom. When I was young & single my rule of thumb regarding older men was that there their kids had to be young enough to biologically be mine. That eliminated men like this guy whose kids are your age. 3
ShyViolet Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with this age difference. You sound like you have your life together and you are rather mature for your age. However, you don't even know this guy. He is just someone you have seen on TV and facebook. I kinda doubt that he will respond to your message if you try and contact him. You don't even know if he might already be dating someone. Sure, why not, send him a message, but don't get your hopes up. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 I don't know: if you really want to try to reach him, I don't see any harm. Here's the thing. The best approach in situations like this is to be honest about what you admire about him and his work and in your email or note explain what your long-term goals are and why meeting him aligns with your long-term ambitions. Be really honest about what you admire about him ... skipping his looks and skipping attraction. Sometimes the right note gets through.
ccas93 Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 who knows, I mean I DM'd Angelina Jolie the other day and we went on a date. She said I was more fun to hang out with than any of her POF matches. 1
TheFinalWord Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 (edited) 22 hours ago, cornelia_street said: I would appreciate an honest opinion. Best regards I think you should message him and just ask! He may not be as inundated with women as you think. Successful men like him likely work 80+ hours a week so finding time to date is not always easy. You don't have to go in with any expectations. Just ask to meet for coffee sometime. Older man/younger woman was the norm for a long time. At a primal level, women are attracted to men with status and resources. In the same way men are attracted to youth and fertility. Most 20 year old men don't have much in the way of resources or status, so older men can be quite attractive to a younger woman. Especially if you are more mature and find men your age to be lacking in the conversational department. There are potential plus sides about an older man. He's mature, established, less likely to be jealous, less worried about outcomes. There are cons as well. As someone pointed out, there is some cultural stigma and you might find the generational gap leaves you with some feeling of disconnect. But you never know. These days, people are finding love and romance in unconventional areas like transgender, cougar, cuckoldry, you name it. Age gap does not have to be a deal breaker. Do what makes you happy, and don't live for the opinions of other people. As the song goes "let's give 'em something to talk about." The main thing is I wouldn't to into it with any expectations. Just see what the chemistry is like and go from there. Good luck! Edited May 5, 2020 by TheFinalWord
Brandonmo Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 What I think you have, as someone else has said is a celebrity crush, if you want to do anything with him you'd have to find him in person and that can be tricky because if you dont play your cards right he'll see right through you.
smackie9 Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 (edited) Reality check: In order to get such a man, you have to be pretty close to his caliber in looks, personality, and education. He's gonna notice a woman at a dinner party or a 500 dollar a plate charity dinner put on by the mayor or some other high up in society personality...not by some email from a stranger. If he is high profile, he's going to be very careful who he interacts with. Edited May 5, 2020 by smackie9 2
Fletch Lives Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 On 5/4/2020 at 5:21 AM, Erik30 said: If you were a man, this would be considered creepy... - It's still creepy. Celebrities have tons of followers....... there are way too many women who have a crush on him, you probably don't stand a chance. 3
smackie9 Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 Not to mention that some famous men that have women approaching them....it's a quick wham slam, don't call me again. 1
stillafool Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 Yeah I was going to say he may be flattered that a 24 year old wants him but he probably gets a ton of women that age coming after him too. I would just admire him from afar. 2
Erik30 Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 6 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: - It's still creepy. Celebrities have tons of followers....... there are way too many women who have a crush on him, you probably don't stand a chance. You're totally right, it is creepy... but if the OP is an attractive young woman most men won't care. There is a double standard because if a guy would do the exact same thing he's basically a stalker. Since this guy is a celebrity, she probably would have to be "super/instagram model hot" for him to notice her. 1
MsJayne Posted May 6, 2020 Posted May 6, 2020 The mere fact that you are considering approaching a celebrity who you have a crush on is a bit of a worry. Take a reality pill and recognise this for what it is and don't go making a massive fool of yourself. 1
Fletch Lives Posted May 6, 2020 Posted May 6, 2020 18 hours ago, Erik30 said: You're totally right, it is creepy... but if the OP is an attractive young woman most men won't care. There is a double standard because if a guy would do the exact same thing he's basically a stalker. - Very true.
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 7, 2020 Posted May 7, 2020 (edited) Oh, make the old man's day. Send him a message that you admire him. He'll answer or not. If not, just forget the whole thing, definitely do not keep trying to contact him after that point. But also realize that you don't actually know anything about this guy. For all you know he has ED, halitosis, a secret boyfriend. You've made him into this big thing in your mind but he's really just a guy. You had a crush, you move on. Or maybe he says "Let's have coffee..." You never know until you try. But don't just stalk somebody. Speak up. Then what happens, happens. Literally all you have so far is a fantasy. There is no try. Edited May 7, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl
Recommended Posts