Women I've been talking to has a picture with another guy as her WhatsApp profile pic

[max3732]

This woman I met online that I've been talking to on the phone and texting about once a week gave me her WhatsApp and there's a picture of her with her arm around some guy that looks roughly our age.

When I saw that I was a bit surprised and I'm assuming it's her brother, cousin, or friend, but I find it a little strange. 

Should I ask her who that is or would that come across like I'm jealous? If I should ask how would you bring it up?

[smackie9]

Let it go. You are not even dating. Tip: women like a man that is confident, enough he doesn't squirm over a simple photo on her social media. You would come off as insecure...not very flattering.

Edited April 29, 2020 by smackie9

[Gr8fuln2020]

I would let it go. She texts you 'about' ONCE A WEEK. She is barely, if at all, interested. 

Edited April 29, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020

[rjc149]

She wanted you to see that photo. Sorry if that's harsh. Whether to make you jealous, or to make herself clear, I can't say. 

Assume, for all intents and purposes, that he's the guy she's currently banging, and that she isn't very interested in you. 

[max3732]

51 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

I would let it go. She texts you 'about' ONCE A WEEK. She is barely, if at all, interested. 

She's had the picture there since I first got her number over a month ago. I just kind of ignored it but it's bugging me a bit now. If we're having great conversations wouldn't she tell me if she was already seeing someone else?

[Gr8fuln2020]

24 minutes ago, max3732 said:

She's had the picture there since I first got her number over a month ago. I just kind of ignored it but it's bugging me a bit now. If we're having great conversations wouldn't she tell me if she was already seeing someone else?

Is 'about' once a week a conversation...really? A conversation that says "Hey, I want to be up-front about others that I may or may not be seeing." Nope. It could be a friend, relative...or crush. If the latter, then she simply is toying with you (and another). If not, once a week hardly seems like she is interest in you all that much. What do you think she is doing the other six days in the week? 

[kendahke]

6 hours ago, max3732 said:

This woman I met online

that I've been talking to

on the phone and texting

about once a week

Let those words sink in a little.

[Mystery4u]

Why don't you just ask her?

[ExpatInItaly]

There's not much to go with here if you're only communicating once a week anyway, OP. That's a sign of low interest. 

As such, I wouldn't think you're in any place to ask her about the guy in her picture. 

[contel3]

I have a guy on my Whatsapp profile picture. A childhood friend I've known since I was six years old and who is very openly gay.

He looks very straight though so it filters out jealous guys quite beautifully.

[Interstellar]

I understand why it’s bugging you and it’s normal to feel that way. We’re humans not robots. As long as you keep quiet and don’t tell her then you don’t come off as insecure. The picture could be anyone so yes you’ll eventually find out on your actual date. Set up a real life date for the future and try not to spend too much time talking on the phone. The once a week texting or talking is PERFECT. But don’t spend hours on it too. Continue dating other girls. Keep it light and no heavy subjects.

Edited April 30, 2020 by Interstellar

[Blind-Sided]

13 hours ago, max3732 said:

She's had the picture there since I first got her number over a month ago. I just kind of ignored it but it's bugging me a bit now. If we're having great conversations wouldn't she tell me if she was already seeing someone else?

OK... I've been reading your posts for a while now... and I don't want to sound like a total ass... but GEEEZZZZZZZ, you really come off needy and desperate. (Sorry)  OK... you are chatting with someone.  You really don't know her yet. She doesn't really know you yet. Asking her about the picture will make you.....

1) Look weak

2) Look overwhelmingly jealous

3) Controlling/demanding (needing to know who someone is)

Now... even if you get to a point in a conversation, and you are talking about "Dating"... that doesn't mean you are exclusive.  If you get to a point where you can meet in real life, and you go out on a few dates... at that point you can ask about it.  BUT... even if you get to know this girl in real life... you can't judge her "Guy Friends" who came before you.  So, if she says it's her best friend that she has known since she was a kid... are you going to be able to shake the REAL issue you have that you have with jealousy?

OK... I really hate to be that way... but you honestly need to work on yourself.

 

[Art_Critic]

It wouldn't bother me because it is obviously there for a reason...

It's either her BF and she is going out on him... issue..

It's her Brother or another family member... no biggie.

It's her BFF, no biggie

or it's a pic of an EX that she uses to keep guys from bothering her and hitting on her.. kinda like how a single waitress wears a wedding ring... no biggie providing it was a while ago.

I say you just work on getting a date with her first...

 

 

[alphamale]

16 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Let it go. You are not even dating. Tip: women like a man that is confident, enough he doesn't squirm over a simple photo on her social media. You would come off as insecure...not very flattering.

^^^this

[Fletch Lives]

I can understand how it could make you jelous, that's natural when you see a pic like that.

Edited April 30, 2020 by Fletch Lives

[elaine567]

Did you not think to ask her a month ago when she first showed you her Whatsapp profile pic? 
No way I would waste my time with some guy with a pic like that without asking him who she was?
Now, since you didn't say anything at the time, it is all a bit awkward...

[max3732]

1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

Did you not think to ask her a month ago when she first showed you her Whatsapp profile pic? 
No way I would waste my time with some guy with a pic like that without asking him who she was?
Now, since you didn't say anything at the time, it is all a bit awkward...

Well I didn't message her on there and the pic was so small and blurry I couldn't really tell who was there. Some people have a pic with their dad or a celebrity or whatever. I had just done a search for her number and saw the small, blurry pic. It was only when I started messaging her on there that I saw it full size and realized it was someone close to our age.

As far as the frequency of talking to her. I thought the idea was just to keep myself on her radar until we're able to meet in person. She's already said multiple times by text and on the phone she can't wait to meet me so I didn't think it would make sense to talk a lot on the phone or be texting all the time until then. Wouldn't texting or calling her more often come across as needy? To be honest I'd rather not contact her at all until we're able to meet, but if I did they I know she'd probably think I'm not interested. So I'm trying to find a good balance.

I am also talking to other women as well and I'd assume she's talking to other guys. 

[max3732]

5 hours ago, Blind-Sided said:

OK... I've been reading your posts for a while now... and I don't want to sound like a total ass... but GEEEZZZZZZZ, you really come off needy and desperate. (Sorry)  OK... you are chatting with someone.  You really don't know her yet. She doesn't really know you yet. Asking her about the picture will make you.....

1) Look weak

2) Look overwhelmingly jealous

3) Controlling/demanding (needing to know who someone is)

Now... even if you get to a point in a conversation, and you are talking about "Dating"... that doesn't mean you are exclusive.  If you get to a point where you can meet in real life, and you go out on a few dates... at that point you can ask about it.  BUT... even if you get to know this girl in real life... you can't judge her "Guy Friends" who came before you.  So, if she says it's her best friend that she has known since she was a kid... are you going to be able to shake the REAL issue you have that you have with jealousy?

OK... I really hate to be that way... but you honestly need to work on yourself.

 

How do I come off as needy and desperate? You wouldn't be surprised to see a picture of someone who says she's single with another guy?

I get that we're not dating yet. 

What do you see that I need to work on?

[JTSW]

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

You wouldn't be surprised to see a picture of someone who says she's single with another guy?

I get that we're not dating yet. 

Exactly. You're not dating yet so you don't really have any right to question her about anything personal.

If you genuinly like this woman, then you can kiss it goodbye if you ask her. 

As others have said, you're sounding needy and desperate.

Chill.

[rjc149]

8 hours ago, max3732 said:

I'd assume she's talking to other guys. 

If she's attractive, assume it's more than talking and set your watch to it. 

The issue isn't as much that you'll come off as needy and desperate, it's more that you'll come off as jealous and controlling. Which is the dangerous and potentially lethal sibling of needy and desperate. 

If you were actually interacting with this girl in real life, then you would see the pic, and playfully joke "oooooh who's that? You're boytoy? Boytoy number 1 or 2? Oh he's just a friend? Cmon stop lying, you don't have any friends" with a teasing smile and a flirty poke on her shoulder. 

But since you've never met her in person, you communicate once per week via text, and her interest level in you is a 5/10 tops, bringing it up now means you've been quietly stewing over it for a week, no matter how playfully you do it. Jealous and controlling. 

Let it go, unless you want to totally destroy your shot with her. 

 

[max3732]

12 hours ago, rjc149 said:

If she's attractive, assume it's more than talking and set your watch to it. 

The issue isn't as much that you'll come off as needy and desperate, it's more that you'll come off as jealous and controlling. Which is the dangerous and potentially lethal sibling of needy and desperate. 

If you were actually interacting with this girl in real life, then you would see the pic, and playfully joke "oooooh who's that? You're boytoy? Boytoy number 1 or 2? Oh he's just a friend? Cmon stop lying, you don't have any friends" with a teasing smile and a flirty poke on her shoulder. 

But since you've never met her in person, you communicate once per week via text, and her interest level in you is a 5/10 tops, bringing it up now means you've been quietly stewing over it for a week, no matter how playfully you do it. Jealous and controlling. 

Let it go, unless you want to totally destroy your shot with her. 

 

Just talked to her this morning and she said she hasn't left the house during the quarantine except to walk around her neighborhood and get groceries and that the only interaction she's had with others is through the webcam. So you think she's lying and was dating this guy seriously when she first messaged me?

[kendahke]

12 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Just talked to her this morning and she said she hasn't left the house during the quarantine except to walk around her neighborhood and get groceries and that the only interaction she's had with others is through the webcam. So you think she's lying and was dating this guy seriously when she first messaged me?

No. I think you're acting as if you two have an actual relationship when you don't.

[rjc149]

50 minutes ago, max3732 said:

So you think she's lying and was dating this guy seriously when she first messaged me?

I think whoever this guy is, it's none of your business. 

[JTSW]

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

So you think she's lying and was dating this guy seriously when she first messaged me?

It's not your business really.

You're not dating so she can talk to whoever she wants.

[Poutrew]

4 hours ago, max3732 said:

Just talked to her this morning and she said she hasn't left the house during the quarantine except to walk around her neighborhood and get groceries and that the only interaction she's had with others is through the webcam. So you think she's lying and was dating this guy seriously when she first messaged me?

You don't really know her well enough to ask her about any picture on her social media. You are coming off as insecure because you are jumping to conclusions concerning the guy in the pic - it would be like if I jumped to the conclusion that she is a webcam hottie because of the innocent little comment she made that I highlighted above. If it really concerns you and you don't want to come off as a wimp, photoshop yourself with your arm around some hot bikini model and put it on your Facebook page. If she asks you about it, then you can ask her about her pic... otherwise, wait until you are dating her to bring it up, or it will never get to the point of a date...