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Issues with the complicated relationship between boyfriend's ex and baby mama

CinderElla97

By CinderElla97
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Paul
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Our community has shared a thread with @CinderElla97 from another participant that has many similarities to this thread. Please be mindful that while there's much to be learned from similar or identical experiences shared by others here, and it's great that we are able to help connect CinderElla97 with discussions that resonate with the experience she's sharing with us today, the poster has made it clear in this thread that she does not identify as the same individual and did not post the similar thread with a different account late last year.

For the purposes of our discussion here, please accept this gentle reminder to be respectful of the thread starter's position on the matter. We kindly ask that you refrain from insisting that the thread starter and the previous thread author are one in the same. Let's focus our energies instead on discussing the feedback in this and in similar threads that may be germane to CinderElla97's circumstances.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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JTSW Established Member

JTSW

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, CinderElla97 said:

Not long enough to be hiding out to text

That's plenty of time to text. 

Wake up. 

You are making every excuse under the sun because you don't want to believe that there is still something between them. 

She is never going to go away. She will be there every day for the rest if his life. 

simpycurious Established Member

simpycurious

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, JTSW said:

Again, you don't know this for a fact. 

He goes to the bathroom on his own doesn't he? Or do you go absolutely everywhere he goes?

You need to wake up and realise that noone should be doing what he is doing. 

It won't end well for you. 

You will never be chosen over the mother of his children. 

It's doubtful he goes to the bathroom or showers alone....if they are TRULY isolating together then showers are probably together.  Of course, it is preferred to have a two headed shower situation..........I am of course TEASING. 

  • Like 1
JTSW Established Member

JTSW

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, CinderElla97 said:

But i already have been?

No. You're just a warm body. 

You will never have meaning to him like the mother of his children. 

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CinderElla97 Established Member

CinderElla97

Posted
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Posted
2 minutes ago, JTSW said:

No. You're just a warm body. 

You will never have meaning to him like the mother of his children. 

So then why is he sticking with me when he knows she would take him back in a heartbeat? Pretty much all they do is argue.

It can't be that meaningful

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, JTSW said:

No. You're just a warm body. 

You will never have meaning to him like the mother of his children. 

And you too must believe this and that is why you are afraid to ask him the questions you are asking here.

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CinderElla97 Established Member

CinderElla97

Posted
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Posted
Just now, stillafool said:

And you too must believe this and that is why you are afraid to ask him the questions you are asking here.

No i do not believe this. That is why i have not asked him anything. Because i still do not entirely believe that he feels anything for her.

That opinion has been formed soley on the basis that they argue. I'm sure there must be other reasons for them to be arguing than just that he is in love with her

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
Just now, CinderElla97 said:

That opinion has been formed soley on the basis that they argue. I'm sure there must be other reasons for them to be arguing than just that he is in love with her

Well, you may as well just put your mind to rest because you'll never know because you'll never ask him.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, CinderElla97 said:

No i do not believe this. That is why i have not asked him anything. Because i still do not entirely believe that he feels anything for her.

 

If this were true you wouldn't be here.

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CinderElla97 Established Member

CinderElla97

Posted
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Posted
1 minute ago, stillafool said:

Well, you may as well just put your mind to rest because you'll never know because you'll never ask him.

Even if i asked him and it was true, he is not exactly likely to turn around and tell me that

allofyou Established Member

allofyou

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, CinderElla97 said:

No i do not believe this. That is why i have not asked him anything. Because i still do not entirely believe that he feels anything for her.

That opinion has been formed soley on the basis that they argue. I'm sure there must be other reasons for them to be arguing than just that he is in love with her


We know he doesn’t love you enough to protect you from all of this that’s for sure. 

Whether he’s in love with her or not that’s a different matter. 

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CinderElla97 Established Member

CinderElla97

Posted
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Posted
Just now, allofyou said:


We know he doesn’t love you enough to protect you from all of this that’s for sure. 

Whether he’s in love with her or not that’s a different matter. 

Protect me how. He tries to get her not to involve me

allofyou Established Member

allofyou

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 minute ago, CinderElla97 said:

Protect me how. He tries to get her not to involve me


Didn’t try hard enough did he

 

 

Edited by allofyou
poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, CinderElla97 said:

No i do not believe this. That is why i have not asked him anything. Because i still do not entirely believe that he feels anything for her.

That opinion has been formed soley on the basis that they argue. I'm sure there must be other reasons for them to be arguing than just that he is in love with her

You are right, it's not just because they argue. 

It's their "entire" dynamic.  How they interact, the blocking/unblocking, the intense arguing, then a minute later, joking and laughing. 

It's him protecting "her" feelings when he told you to unblock her.

Come on now Cinder, you can't possibly be "this" naive as to believe he has no feelings left for her.

Edited by poppyfields
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CinderElla97 Established Member

CinderElla97

Posted
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Posted
3 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

You are right, it's not just because they argue. 

It's their "entire" dynamic.  How they interact, the blocking/unblocking, the intense arguing, then a minute later, joking and laughing. 

It's him protecting "her" feelings when he told you to unblock her.

Come on now Cinder, you can't possibly be "this" naive as to believe he has no feelings left for her.

But i can't see why if he still felt something for her that he wouldn't want to talk to her more instead of ignoring her and why he wouldn't go to see them more often. I mean, he would have the perfect excuse, that he was seeing the children. Instead he choses to spend his time with me

allofyou Established Member

allofyou

Posted
Posted

OP you are arguing with a bunch of internet strangers as to what ifs and what nots of things that are purely emotional and not logical. 
 

As I said, you show no boundaries. Unless you can tell us tangibly what you can and cannot accept of a man’s behaviour and what you’re willing to do once this guy has crossed your boundaries, we cannot help you. 

  • Like 1
poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)

By the way, you said you're with him pretty much 24/7 and you would know if they were texting/sexting. 

Well, you have been posting on this thread for hours within a 2-3 day period, where is HE?

Can he see what you are doing?  

Edited by poppyfields
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CinderElla97 Established Member

CinderElla97

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Just now, poppyfields said:

By the way, you said you're with him pretty much 24/7 and you would know if they were texting/sexting. 

Well, you have been posting on this forum for hours within a two day period, where is he?

Can he see what you are doing?  

No he can not see. He knows i am on my phpne but he is busy playing on his xbox

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, CinderElla97 said:

Even if i asked him and it was true, he is not exactly likely to turn around and tell me that

Then you have bigger problems than just her.  You are afraid to ask him about the dynamics between them because you know he won't tell you the truth.  This just proves our point.  You know he is still in love with her and are walking on eggshells not to lose him.  This is why you don't confront him to find out exactly what is going on.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

By the way, you said you're with him pretty much 24/7 and you would know if they were texting/sexting. 

Well, you have been posting on this thread for hours within a 2-3 day period, where is HE?

Can he see what you are doing?  

I was just thinking this.  I bet he doesn't even live with OP.

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CinderElla97 Established Member

CinderElla97

Posted
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Posted
Just now, stillafool said:

Then you have bigger problems than just her.  You are afraid to ask him about the dynamics between them because you know he won't tell you the truth.  This just proves our point.  You know he is still in love with her and are walking on eggshells not to lose him.  This is why you don't confront him to find out exactly what is going on.

It is not that. I just can not think of any man that would openly admit to it unless they were looking to leave and go back to her. Which i am almost certain he is not. I say almost certain because i know someone will pull me up if i say certain

poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)

Even assuming you're correct OP, your relationship sounds a bit off, given you live together but you're spending the majority of your day posting on a message forum and he is on his x-box?

Are you sitting next to each other while doing these things?  So as to know for certain what the other is doing?  Posting, texting? 

If so, aren't you afraid he will see what you post just as you were able to see his texts to his ex when they argue? 

This whole thing is just sounding really strange now, with you posting things and then retracting, contradicting yourself, can you understand our confusion? 

Edited by poppyfields
JTSW Established Member

JTSW

Posted
Posted
32 minutes ago, CinderElla97 said:

So then why is he sticking with me when he knows she would take him back in a heartbeat? Pretty much all they do is argue.

It can't be that meaningful

Like I said, they wouldn't argue if they didn't care enough to do so. 

The arguing shows there is still passion there. 

JTSW Established Member

JTSW

Posted
Posted
28 minutes ago, CinderElla97 said:

Protect me how. He tries to get her not to involve me

So why did he make you unblock her social media? 

He's not to be trusted. 

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CinderElla97 Established Member

CinderElla97

Posted
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Posted (edited)

Just wanted to say thank you to those who genuinely tried to help me and explain things in ways i could understand.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Inappropriate comment
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CinderElla97 Established Member

CinderElla97

Posted
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Posted (edited)

Today i have had her messaging me all day. I unblocked her as i wanted to see something. We argued at first. Them she started sayin things about him being a liar and how he acts completely different in person when he is with her and i am not there. I said i didnt believe her and if it was true to bring me proof since she seems so ready to privide what she calls proof of everything else. 

She was trying to say to me pretty much the things that have been said on here about him having no moral integrity and why would i want to be with someone like that. How i don't even know the real him only what he wants me to see. 

Generally seeming like shes out to cause trouble. She says we argue because he has made her out to be the crazy jealous ex.which to be honest is how she comes across. 

That he doesnt want us talking incase she tells me the truth about things. 

 

He didnt argue with her in all this time though, he ignored her and blocked her and told me to do the same. 

So surely that shows he doesnt feel anything for her anymore?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merged with previous thread.
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