Moos Posted April 24, 2020 Posted April 24, 2020 A bit of background. I've known this girl for 4 months. I'm M[27] and she is F[29] with a young son. We met at a bar and shortly afterwards when on a few great dates. We hooked up a few times but then I didn't hear from her for weeks - out of the blue. She eventually got back in contact with me again and we started chatting. She told me she cut contact because she thought I was seeing someone else (which I wasn't, but I can kinda see why she thought that), and didn't want any drama or to get in the way. We cleared that up and I told her she made a mistake. Everything was then fine, we'd text a lot, video chat for hours, talk on the phone all whilst in quarantine because we can't actually meet and see each other. She told me she really liked me and how excited she was to see me. All of a sudden, I dropped off some supplies to her place and saw her for a couple of minutes. After that she went a bit cold on me, and didn't reply for 4 days. I re initiated contact but only a couple of messages were sent. I was super busy with school and didn't reply to her for 11 hours. She sent me a sarcastic emoji before I replied. She sent this emoji before when she ignored me the first time. I teased her about the emoji (only jokingly) and apologized for my late reply, replied as normal and she hasn't replied now for 48 hours. I sent her the same emoji she sent me (I know this all sounds kinda childish) and thought that might get a reaction out of her, but nope. I'm unable to know what's going on because she won't talk to me. Shall I just give up and move on? Or is it worth one last shot by picking up the phone and trying to call her to see where she's at? If she doesn't answer, then I will just move on and wont waste any more time and emotion into this. Thanks
dangerous Posted April 24, 2020 Posted April 24, 2020 Quote Should I just stop contact with her? Yep. Too much game playing. Find someone more stable. 2
scooby-philly Posted April 24, 2020 Posted April 24, 2020 If you're out of high school there should be no games. Unfortunately most college students or college aged people aren't that much more mature these days. But if you're over 22/24 then yeah - (especially if you have a child) there should be no games. Would need more info to craft a more detailed response, but to cut to the chase - don't fall for the games or get sucked into the drama. For example, not sure why she would have thought you may have been seeing someone. If she was interested she could have asked, especially as you hooked up. That shows immaturity and poor boundaries on her part, not the least because most women don't want to be the "other girl". That's probably just an excuse she used to get back with you. Move on!
Versacehottie Posted April 24, 2020 Posted April 24, 2020 I don't usually like to speculate too much but I feel like she still is hung up on or seeing someone else. Too hot and cold anyway. I think you should drop it and just consider how you feel (ie if you will accept contact, respond or NOT) when she gets back in touch. It could be that she is a flakey, fickle person who doesn't appreciate you or is lukewarm about you or maybe the timing is wrong now. You can fix part of the problem by not rewarding her for her whims as it regards you. She will respect you more for it IMO. Good luck
smackie9 Posted April 24, 2020 Posted April 24, 2020 (edited) She's very very insecure. You got busy, but she's playing it in her head you are talking to other chicks. Too immature, don't waste your time. She assumed you were the first time....she's still assuming. You dodged a bullet...prob the type to be going through your phone and crap. Edited April 24, 2020 by smackie9
kendahke Posted April 24, 2020 Posted April 24, 2020 15 hours ago, Moos said: Shall I just give up and move on? That would be the best option Quote Or is it worth one last shot by picking up the phone and trying to call her to see where she's at? Why? To go through all of this again in 2 weeks? Leave her where she stands and find someone more mature. She's playing "read my mind" games with you--and only children play games.
manfrombelow Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 (edited) This one right here is a big, massive and tremendous redflag: Quote She told me she cut contact because she thought I was seeing someone else So she cut you off out of the blue, and came back not with a sincere apology but a BS accusation instead? Come on man, this is called classic manipulation. And she manipulated you. She played you because clearly she could "smell" that you were too into her. I would delete her number, hook up with her maybe one final time, and kick her out of my life for good. Quote We cleared that up and I told her she made a mistake No she didn't. She played you. On purpose. And you let her get away with it without punishment. You didn't act like a man who is willing to call her out for her BS. She now has all the more reasons to disrespect you. And women never love nor have sex with men whom they disrespect. Quote All of a sudden, I dropped off some supplies to her place and saw her for a couple of minutes. After that she went a bit cold on me, and didn't reply for 4 days. I re initiated contact but only a couple of messages were sent. I was super busy with school and didn't reply to her for 11 hours. She sent me a sarcastic emoji before I replied. She sent this emoji before when she ignored me the first time. I teased her about the emoji (only jokingly) and apologized for my late reply, replied as normal and she hasn't replied now for 48 hours. I sent her the same emoji she sent me (I know this all sounds kinda childish) and thought that might get a reaction out of her, but nope/ You are reading too much into this whole texting thingy. When two people are mutually attracted to each other and respect one another, they will meet, have fun and hook up IN REAL LIFE, not via smartphones. Again, you should have forgotten about her instead of playing her games by her rules. Quote I'm unable to know what's going on because she won't talk to me. Shall I just give up and move on? Or is it worth one last shot by picking up the phone and trying to call her to see where she's at? A high-value man with dignity and balls in this case would, like I said, delete her number and start investing his precious time, energy and mental health into other women instead of getting fixated with this particular one. Edited May 10, 2020 by manfrombelow
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 11 minutes ago, manfrombelow said: This one right here is a big, massive and tremendous redflag: So she cut you off out of the blue, and comes back not with a sincere apology but a BS accusation instead? Come on man, this is called manipulation. And she manipulated you. She played you because clearly she could "smell" that you were too into her. I would delete her number, hook up with her maybe one final time, and kick her out of my life for good. No she didn't. She played you. And you let her do it. You didn't act like a man who is willing to call her out for her BS. She now has all the more reasons to disrespect you. And women never love nor have sex with men whom they disrespect. You are reading too much into this whole texting thingy. When two people are mutually attracted to each other and respect one another, they will meet, have fun and hook up IN REAL LIFE, not via smartphones. Again, you should have forgotten about her instead of playing her games by her rules. A high-value man with dignity and balls in this case would, like I said, delete her number and start investing his precious time, energy and mental health into other women. Sorry but who would really think this deeply into it... It's just not working out, OP. She's sarcastic, you're stressed, nobody's happy. Move on. There's a better match out there for you.
elaine567 Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 4 minutes ago, manfrombelow said: a BS accusation ? Not really, the OP could see why she thought he was seeing someone else so there was obviously a reason she thought that. My guess something happened between the "excited to see you" and the dropping off the groceries or soon after and she then went dark for 4 days. Whatever it was it doesn't really seem like a "relationship" that is going anywhere anyway. Relationships need to progress, this one had a lot of stops and starts and has now stalled all together. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 33 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Not really, the OP could see why she thought he was seeing someone else so there was obviously a reason she thought that. My guess something happened between the "excited to see you" and the dropping off the groceries or soon after and she then went dark for 4 days. Whatever it was it doesn't really seem like a "relationship" that is going anywhere anyway. Relationships need to progress, this one had a lot of stops and starts and has now stalled all together. Yup... Time to go, OP...
miranda561 Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 On 4/24/2020 at 8:04 AM, Moos said: A bit of background. I've known this girl for 4 months. I'm M[27] and she is F[29] with a young son. We met at a bar and shortly afterwards when on a few great dates. We hooked up a few times but then I didn't hear from her for weeks - out of the blue. She eventually got back in contact with me again and we started chatting. She told me she cut contact because she thought I was seeing someone else (which I wasn't, but I can kinda see why she thought that), and didn't want any drama or to get in the way. We cleared that up and I told her she made a mistake. Everything was then fine, we'd text a lot, video chat for hours, talk on the phone all whilst in quarantine because we can't actually meet and see each other. She told me she really liked me and how excited she was to see me. All of a sudden, I dropped off some supplies to her place and saw her for a couple of minutes. After that she went a bit cold on me, and didn't reply for 4 days. I re initiated contact but only a couple of messages were sent. I was super busy with school and didn't reply to her for 11 hours. She sent me a sarcastic emoji before I replied. She sent this emoji before when she ignored me the first time. I teased her about the emoji (only jokingly) and apologized for my late reply, replied as normal and she hasn't replied now for 48 hours. I sent her the same emoji she sent me (I know this all sounds kinda childish) and thought that might get a reaction out of her, but nope. I'm unable to know what's going on because she won't talk to me. Shall I just give up and move on? Or is it worth one last shot by picking up the phone and trying to call her to see where she's at? If she doesn't answer, then I will just move on and wont waste any more time and emotion into this. Thanks Just call the girl. I find that responses to calls are a greater indicator of interest ( in my opinion) i.e. if they actually pick up, length of call, the content. You cant decipher anything from one repeated emoji being sent back and forth. I mean thats just pointless and a waste of time
manfrombelow Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 (edited) 15 minutes ago, miranda561 said: Just call the girl. I find that responses to calls are a greater indicator of interest ( in my opinion) i.e. if they actually pick up, length of call, the content. You cant decipher anything from one repeated emoji being sent back and forth. I mean thats just pointless and a waste of time Why would you FORCE someone to talk to you by calling her on the phone, when that person clearly showed the sign of a very low interest & respect level in you through her actions? In OP's case, he did and said all that needed to be said and done. If that women wants to ever see him again, she'll know how. If she does not, why waste her and his time? Edited May 10, 2020 by manfrombelow
miranda561 Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 (edited) 21 minutes ago, manfrombelow said: Why would you FORCE someone to talk to you by calling her on the phone, when that person clearly showed the sign of a very low interest & respect level in you through her actions? In OP's case, he did and said all that needed to be said and done. If that women wants to ever see him again, she'll know how. If she does not, why waste her and his time? Its one last phonecall to see whats up. I only said so as clearly he likes her and mostly he's been messaging back and forth, and a call can clear up all the bs. She's got a kid aswell..shes got other priorities and may be busy just saying. Also i've been hot and cold towards people in the past, not because im playing games though. There are always exceptions Edited May 10, 2020 by miranda561
manfrombelow Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 10 minutes ago, miranda561 said: Its one last phonecall to see whats up. I only said so as clearly he likes her and mostly he's been messaging back and forth, and a call can clear up all the bs. She's got a kid aswell..shes got other priorities and may be busy just saying. Also i've been hot and cold towards people in the past, not because im playing games though. There are always exceptions Any contacting attempt initiated by him from now will be seen as needy and clingy behaviour. Of course he is free to do whatever he wants, but at his own risks.
miranda561 Posted May 10, 2020 Posted May 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, manfrombelow said: Any contacting attempt initiated by him from now will be seen as needy and clingy behaviour. Of course he is free to do whatever he wants, but at his own risks. If hes just clear and straight to the point with one phonecall ( only one)..then i dont see the problem. Maybe he could get a bit more clarity that way. He himself said he will move on after.
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