Trying to play it cool with a guy I didn't hear from in 5 days but afraid he'll think I'm not interested! Am I doing the right thing?

[Candygirl1414]

I had been on 3 dates with a guy we really hit it off great chemistry etc. And I like him. He is currently out of town with family and will be for another 2 weeks. he's been gone a week now and I’ve got 2 msgs from him. One 2 days after he arrived and the next one 5 days after that. Since I didn’t hear from him for 5 days I had kind of written him off as not interested but we’ve been texting consistently now for the last 2 days. Only thing is a lot of time’s his texts are just 1 line comments not really any questions to keep the convo going. Bcus I didn’t want to come off too eager or keep someone on the phone when they don’t want to be, and especially considering I hadn’t heard from him in 5 days so was thinking his interest was very low anyway, I started responding the same way with just comments instead for continuing to ask questions after every text. I make sure I’m enthusiastic in what I say though, emojis exclamations etc. I was the last one to text in reply to another 1 line comment of something he said and where I usually would have asked something to keep the convo going I just wrote my comment( again lighthearted with lols etc.)and that was it. It's been 2 days I haven't heard from him. Do you think this guys is going to think I’m not interested because of my msgs or am I right to play it a little cool considering not very much texting on his part? Since he's away with family ive waited for him to initiate every time as im trying not to bug him but I do like him so am thinking if he doesn’t reply In a few days I might initiate the next text although I was the last one to msg. Thoughts?

[Mystery4u]

When two people truly like each other there's no such thing as 'too eager'. His interest level is low as you can see. He should be doing more of the pursuing. If you like message him one more time but after that if he still shows such low interest with the one liner replies and long gaps in contact then do not contact him again until he does.

[Emilie Jolie]

Could it be he's a practically minded guy who sees no point in getting invested in someone he's only seen 3 times and won't get to see for another 2 weeks? 

I'd take a back seat and see how things go when he gets back.

[preraph]

There are plenty of people who don't like empty obligatory texting, and he is texting you short things, probably because he doesn't like a lot of text chitchat.  Nothing wrong with that.  I would say just answer with something cute and short when he texts and stop worrying.  

[Juha]

He is away with family, you have been on 3 dates, and you expect to talk all the time with him?

 

I am puzzled by this, you are newly dating not in an established relationship

I would not say he has low interest at all.

If he had low interest he would not be contacting at all while away.

He may be a person who doe not like to text a lot, especially when you are first starting to date

 

How about you initiate some instead of playing games.

 

How about you wait and see his actions when he is back home and around.

If he does not set plans for a date with you then you can say he has low interest

 

I think you are asking way too much from him after only 3 dates

Relax.

 

[JTSW]

The last thing you should do is play games by changing your texting behavior.

You just need to continue being yourself.

Don't show low interest if you don't want him to pick up on that, because he will.

Send a text and ask him if he would like to do something when he gets back.

Don't play games. 

[kendahke]

Quote

Trying to play it cool

= I'm playing games and it isn't going my way.

Try not playing games and see if you get closer to what you want.

[smackie9]

You only had 3 dates...your expectations are a little high. He's with family, he's not going to be thinking of you until he gets back. Remember, if you want a man interested in you, you have to reciprocate.

[stillafool]

I just don't understand how anyone can be so gung ho over someone after just 3 dates that they want to play games to keep their attention.  If he is away with family I wouldn't expect contact until he returns, but that's just me.

[Fletch Lives]

36 minutes ago, stillafool said:

  If he is away with family I wouldn't expect contact until he returns, but that's just me.

 - This. He's busy, wait to play games and make babies until he gets back.

[Malin889]

Just curious, since there's the pandemic going on, where did he go with his family? Do they have multiple houses? 

Also, this pandemic could be the very reason he's not getting in touch. When you say family, does he have kids? They could be keeping him busy. 

[datingvirgin]

This whole pandemic is sort of making us do weird things that we normally wont. Like we are bored and have so much time so the result is over thinking...I'm guilty of that myself.

So I would suggest, since I have been in this situation many times, to just distract yourself with interesting things based on what you like.

You will be fine

 

 

Edited April 23, 2020 by datingvirgin

[rjc149]

OP-- did you hook up with this guy?

If yes, then I would chalk up his lukewarm texting to him being with family and not wanting to be on call for you, or him disliking ongoing, meaningless text dialogue just for its own sake.

If no, he could see you as a waste of time, and he's cutting bait. 

Either way, you've communicated interest in him sufficiently, you don't need to worry about what he'll think. Let me be for now.  

[GeorgiaPeach1]

You aren't in a relationship with this man, or even dating him with any regularity. You should be so busy with other things and interactions with others that you don't have time to keep track of his calls and texts.